Janet's Jewish Jokes Trivia Quiz

Answer: Sigmund Freud

Sigmund Freud, the founder of modern psychiatry, wrote a book entitled "Jokes and Their Relationship to the Unconscious". Interspersed amongst the learned doctor's analyses of humor are a great many jokes, particularly Jewish jokes. Freud was especially fond of jokes about the shadchan (matchmaker) and the schnorrer (beggar).

Here is an example of one of the jokes Freud relates in his book. "The shadchan takes the prospective groom to meet his future bride. He is immediately appalled by what he sees and whispers to the shadchan, "Why have you brought me here? Her eyes are bleary, her teeth are crooked and she had a hump." To which the shadchan replies, "There is no need to whisper.

She is deaf as well."

Answer: Chelm

Chelm is actually a real town, and one can even find web sites describing its universities and churches. But in Jewish legend, Chelm is a town of full of fools, with a council of seven "wise men" at their head. Here is an example of a story told about Chelm. "A man in Chelm was seen on his hands and knees in the middle of the road one night.

A stranger asked him, "What are you doing?" and he replied, "I've lost my house key and I'm looking for it". "You lost it here, in the middle of the road?", the incredulous visitor asked. "No, I lost it back there a way." "Then why are you looking here?" the stranger persisted. "Because there is a streetlight here. How could I ever find anything back there in the dark?"

Answer: The Borscht Belt

The Catskill Mountains of New York were home to a number of popular Jewish hotels, such as Grossinger's and The Concord, in the 1940'-60's. Most of these hotels provided entertainment, and many well-known American comedians got their start in the Borscht Belt.

These names include Milton Berle, Woody Allen and Henny Youngman. This is an old, Borsht-Belt style joke: Someone faints in a crowded theatre. Promptly, a woman begins to yell, "Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?".

A man steps forward and announces "Madam, I am a doctor!". "Oh doctor," the lady gushes, "Do I have a daughter for you!".

Answer: Gevalt!

Only when the Baroness yells out "Gevalt! ("Help!" in Yiddish) does the doctor relate seriously to her labor. Her pleas for help in the polite languages of European nobility do not make an impression on him.

Answer: This one I pray in. That other one- I wouldn't be caught dead in.

This joke is a good example of the old adage, "If you have two Jews, you have three opinions."

Answer: False

Remember that hilarious scene in Mel Brook's movie, "The Producers", when a line of chorus-girls dressed in short SS uniforms comes out singing, "Springtime, for Hitler, and Germany"? And here is another joke: Hitler is concerned about his future, so he goes to see a palm-reader, and asks her when he will die. "Mein Fuehrer", she replies "I can see in your hand that you will die on a Jewish holiday." "Really", says the worried Hitler, "And which Jewish holiday would that be?" "Whenever you die, Mein Fuehrer, that day will be a Jewish holiday".

Answer: Jerry Lewis

Jerry Lewis is as well-known for his work with the Muscular Dystrophy Association as for his comedy. Lewis began his work with the MDA in 1952, and broadcast the first Labor Day Telethon in 1966. It has raised millions of dollars for children with Muscular Dystrophy. Lewis has been honored for his work with this organization - perhaps the two most significant honors being his nomination for a Nobel Prize in 1977, and the Department of Defense Medal for Distinguished Public Service, which was awarded in 1985. Like many Jewish comedians, Lewis' parents were in vaudeville, and he got his start on the Borscht Belt. Lewis went on to work with Dean Martin and appeared in many comic films.

His comedy is often slapstick.

Answer: All of them

Sophie Tucker, known as "The Last of the Red Hot Mammas", was once banned from the theatre after singing "The Angle Worm Wiggle" in 1910. Jackie Mason appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show and refused to step down from the stage in order to allow the Beatles to appear.

He was banned from television for ten years after that. Jackie Mason continues to infuriate some people with his social and political views. Lenny Bruce, of course, spent his entire career in comedy surrounded by controversy, because of use of four-letter words as well as his criticism of organized religion. Bruce was eventually banned from television and from most nightclubs in the United States.

He complained at one point that the police had hired a Yiddish speaking undercover cop to listen to his routine after he substituted Yiddish slang for the four-letter English words that had gotten him into trouble!

Answer: Alan King

When I researched this quiz, I was gratified, but not surprised, to learn that the Foundation for Jewish Culture gave awards for Jewish humor, in addition to awards in literature, performing arts, etc. Eli Wiesel presented Alan King with the first award, 1998.

In his acceptance speech King said, "This country did not have a sense of humor until the turn of the century, when the Jews arrived at Ellis Island. They had wit, British style wit, but not a sense of humor".

Answer: Cancel the whole thing and get me a cup of coffee and a prune danish.

The original version of this joke did not feature a nurse - that is my own, personal touch. Hope you got a laugh or two out of this quiz! janetgool r.n.