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Even More Bad Jokes Trivia Quiz

Ah well, here we go again. 10 more appalling jokes, each with a trivia question inserted with almost unbelievable subtlety. You asked for it.

A multiple-choice quiz by Islingtonian. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
Islingtonian

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
192,776

Updated
Jul 13 23

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Tough

Avg Score
6 / 10

Plays
2552

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. What's small, cuddly, and invented an analytical engine which contributed to the development of the computer? Hint

My Little Tony

A Babbage Patch Doll

Teddy Laker

A Klaus Barbie Doll

NEXT>

Question 2 of 10

2. A man is run over by a bus, and wakes up in hospital. As he gradually recovers, he begins to walk around and explore his surroundings, wandering up and down the wards to pass the time. One night, however, he takes a wrong turn, and finds himself outside a door he isn't familiar with. On the door is marked "Do not enter."

Intrigued, he bends down to peer through the keyhole. Immediately, he hears a loud cry:

"Here's a health to them that's awa"

Frightened, he scurries back to his bed. However, the next evening, his curiosity overcomes him. He returns to the door, and kneels down to peer through the keyhole. Immediately, there is another loud cry:

"Should Auld Acquaintance be Forgot"

Scared, he flees back to his own ward. The next night, however, his courage returns, and he finds himself once more in front of the door. This time, as he peers through the keyhole, he hears:

"This truth fand honest Tam o' Shanter"

He is making to run away once more, when he runs into the hospital's Matron, who regards him sternly. "What are you doing?" she demands. He explains what he has heard.

"Ah, well" says Matron, "That'll teach you to stay away from... Hint

The Alexander Pope Department

The McGonagal Ward

The Burns Unit

The Keats Centre

NEXT>

Question 3 of 10

3. What goes "Ring ring, duhduhluh dudduhluh dudduh luh duh duh"?

(Hint: this joke works (marginally) better when spoken out loud, as you then don't have to explain that the second bit is supposed to be the theme from "The Lone Ranger"). Hint

A William Tellephone

A Feyer Alarm

A Doorbellini

Bela Lugosi

NEXT>

Question 4 of 10

4. Q: What's the difference between a viking and an Indian flatbread spelt out in a code of dots and dashes?

A: One's a Norseman, and the other's a ...

Answer: (Two Words2 (the first is the code, the second's the flatbread))

NEXT>

Question 5 of 10

5. 1st man: I say, I say, I say. Did you hear about the man who went on holiday to France?

2nd man: No I didn't.

1st man: Oh yes. He had a wonderful time. He was treated like a king.

2nd man: You mean he ate well?

1st man: No, I mean he was ... Hint

Shot

Guillotined

Given the Electric Chair

Thrown into the Bosphorus

NEXT>

Question 6 of 10

6. Doctor, Doctor. I seem to have a saltwater fish in my throat.

Ah, you need a ... Hint

Troutectomy

Hakeotomy

Goldfishogram

Piranha removal

NEXT>

Question 7 of 10

7. Where do Belgian insects live? Hint

Antsterdam

Antwerp

Beelin

Beejing

NEXT>

Question 8 of 10

8. What's blue and starred in "The Golden Child"? Hint

Ione Sky

Emmanuelle Kant

Martin Sapphire

Eddie Smurfy

NEXT>

Question 9 of 10

9. Fill in the missing word in the following unfunny and laboured joke.

Macbeth is wandering through the corridors of his castle, having murdered King Duncan. Suddenly, the lead singer of the Rolling Stones bursts out of a side door, and struts about in front of him.

"Ah", says Macbeth, "Is this a BLANK I see before me?"

Answer: (One Word (a surname))

NEXT>

Question 10 of 10

10. 1st man: I say, I say, I say, did you hear that they're making a new sitcom, about a province in Ireland and a town in Germany living together in the same house?

2nd man: No I didn't, leave me alone.

1st man: Ah, yes, they're calling it ... Hint

The Munsters

From Prussia with Love

Gaul in the Family

Last of the Summer Baden Baden

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Oct 15 2024 : Guest 82: 1/10
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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. What's small, cuddly, and invented an analytical engine which contributed to the development of the computer?

Answer: A Babbage Patch Doll

Opinions differ as to whether Charles Babbage actually "invented" the computer, but it's something we British like to claim.

Incidentally, with regard to one of the incorrect answers, if the producers of "The Sopranos" are reading this, and are considering marketing a range of spin-off mafia boss dolls called "My Little Tony", remember that I thought of it first.

2. A man is run over by a bus, and wakes up in hospital. As he gradually recovers, he begins to walk around and explore his surroundings, wandering up and down the wards to pass the time. One night, however, he takes a wrong turn, and finds himself outside a door he isn't familiar with. On the door is marked "Do not enter." Intrigued, he bends down to peer through the keyhole. Immediately, he hears a loud cry: "Here's a health to them that's awa" Frightened, he scurries back to his bed. However, the next evening, his curiosity overcomes him. He returns to the door, and kneels down to peer through the keyhole. Immediately, there is another loud cry: "Should Auld Acquaintance be Forgot" Scared, he flees back to his own ward. The next night, however, his courage returns, and he finds himself once more in front of the door. This time, as he peers through the keyhole, he hears: "This truth fand honest Tam o' Shanter" He is making to run away once more, when he runs into the hospital's Matron, who regards him sternly. "What are you doing?" she demands. He explains what he has heard. "Ah, well" says Matron, "That'll teach you to stay away from...

Answer: The Burns Unit

By the time Scots poet Robert Burns died (at the age of 37), he had written over 550 poems and songs. As well as the 3 above, these include "The Deuks Dang O'er my Daddie", "The Lad They Ca' Jumpin John", and the immortal "Wilt Thou Be My Dearie".

3. What goes "Ring ring, duhduhluh dudduhluh dudduh luh duh duh"? (Hint: this joke works (marginally) better when spoken out loud, as you then don't have to explain that the second bit is supposed to be the theme from "The Lone Ranger").

Answer: A William Tellephone

Odd, isn't it, that a great piece of classical music is still best known as the theme from a TV series that was on for a couple of years, several decades ago. But not as odd as the fact that I'm doing yet another one of these awful quizzes.

4. Q: What's the difference between a viking and an Indian flatbread spelt out in a code of dots and dashes? A: One's a Norseman, and the other's a ...

Answer: Morse Nan

Nan bread comes in many interesting flavours. My favourite is Peshawari, which is filled with almonds and fruit.

Morse code includes all the different letters of the alphabet, each represented by a combination of dots and dashes. My favourite is dot dot dot, or S.

Vikings had many interesting names. My favourite was ... oh for crying out loud.

5. 1st man: I say, I say, I say. Did you hear about the man who went on holiday to France? 2nd man: No I didn't. 1st man: Oh yes. He had a wonderful time. He was treated like a king. 2nd man: You mean he ate well? 1st man: No, I mean he was ...

Answer: Guillotined

I always say that you've not had a real Civil war until you've chopped a king's head off. We did it with Charles I, and the French did it with Louis XVI and his empathically challenged wife, Marie Antoinette.

6. Doctor, Doctor. I seem to have a saltwater fish in my throat. Ah, you need a ...

Answer: Hakeotomy

Trout, Goldfish and Piranhas are all freshwater fish. Hake is a saltwater fish, and hakeotomy sounds like tracheotomy (an operation to cut a hole in someone's throat and allow them to breathe). I suspect receiving such an operation is actually funnier than this joke.

7. Where do Belgian insects live?

Answer: Antwerp

Each time I've written one of these "Bad Jokes" quizzes, there has come a point where I've lost all enthusiasm, and just started putting in rubbish. Judge for yourself whether I've reached it yet.

8. What's blue and starred in "The Golden Child"?

Answer: Eddie Smurfy

Eddie Murphy's middle name is Regan. By an amazing co-incidence, Regan is the first name of the girl in the Exorcist, and the actress who played her (Linda Blair) shares a surname with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, the last letter of whose first name is also the last letter of "Donkey", the character played by Eddie Murphy in "Shrek". Spooky, eh?

In relation to one of the wrong answers, there's no truth in the story that German philosopher Immanuel Kant was named after the censored version of the famous film.

9. Fill in the missing word in the following unfunny and laboured joke. Macbeth is wandering through the corridors of his castle, having murdered King Duncan. Suddenly, the lead singer of the Rolling Stones bursts out of a side door, and struts about in front of him. "Ah", says Macbeth, "Is this a BLANK I see before me?"

Answer: jagger

Macbeth was a compulsory book in my English class at school. For those who haven't studied it, it's essentially "Friday the 13th" with beards.

10. 1st man: I say, I say, I say, did you hear that they're making a new sitcom, about a province in Ireland and a town in Germany living together in the same house? 2nd man: No I didn't, leave me alone. 1st man: Ah, yes, they're calling it ...

Answer: The Munsters

The 4 provinces of Ireland are Munster, Connacht, Leinster and Ulster. That's about all I can say without becoming too controversial.

I hope you enjoyed the quiz. Hope does, after all, spring eternal.

Source: Author Islingtonian

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor ozzz2002 before going online.
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