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Bad Jokes Trivia Quiz

Below are 10 extraordinarily laboured, unfunny, soul-sapping jokes that I have made up (all with a trivia question cunningly woven in). Can you guess the punchlines? More importantly, can you get to the end of the quiz without the aid of Prozac?

A multiple-choice quiz by Islingtonian. Estimated time: 4 mins.

Author
Islingtonian

Time
4 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
165,577

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
6 / 10

Plays
10024

Last 3 plays: Guest 73 (8/10), cindi657 (9/10), Guest 99 (4/10).

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. Which monster composed "The Marriage of Figaro"? Hint

Benjamin Franklinstein

Wolfman Amadeus Mozart

Godzilla the Hun

Yeti Menuhin

NEXT>

Question 2 of 10

2. What do you get if you cross a criminal with a nun who practised in Calcutta until 1997? Hint

Robber Williams

Fraud Flintstone

Luke Jaywalker

Mugger Teresa

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Question 3 of 10

3. "Doctor Doctor. I keep thinking I'm a musical instrument famously played by Arnold Jacobs of the Chicago Symphony"

"Ah, you have a case of ..." Hint

tennis oboe

tubaculosis

trumpetitis

catarrh

4. A man walks into a bar, with the actress who played Spartacus's wife sitting on his left shoulder, and the writer of "Huis clos" on his right shoulder. The barman asks him to leave, saying ... Hint

Sorry, no Sneakers

Sorry, no Pets

Sorry, no Jeans

Sorry, no Children

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Question 5 of 10

5. Q: What's the difference between a dropout who's been covered in paint of the type which produces a non-shiny finish, and a macaque that's been run over by a steamroller?

A: One's a matte flunky and the other's a ...

Answer: (Two Words)

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Question 6 of 10

6. Knock Knock
Who's there?
[Blank]
[Blank] Who?
[Blank] So I had to knock.

What's the missing word (hint - it's the surname of the man who invented dynamite)?

Answer: (One Word)

NEXT>

Question 7 of 10

7. What do you call a Swedish tennis player attacking the Starship Enterprise? Hint

Michael "The Phaser" Stich

Bjorn Borg

Boris Becker

Andre Klingon

NEXT>

Question 8 of 10

8. A boy is caught shoplifting. When his father gets home, he goes straight upstairs, and his mother hears the sound of the opera "Orlando Paladino" emanating from his bedroom. Shortly afterwards, his father come downstairs and says "I've given him..."? Hint

A good Haydn

A good Bach

A good Beethoven

A good Brahms

NEXT>

Question 9 of 10

9. John McEnroe is playing tennis, and suffers a particularly bad line call. He turns to the umpire, only to find Harry Potter's godfather sitting in the chair. Incensed, he cries ... Hint

"You are the pits of the Eartha!!!"

"You cannot be Sirius!!!"

"The ball was on the Linus!!!"

"I'm Wright. I'm always Wright!!!"

NEXT>

Question 10 of 10

10. What's the capital of Australia? Hint

Sydney

Canberra

Wellington

Melbourne

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Most Recent Scores

Dec 21 2024 : Guest 73: 8/10
Dec 21 2024 : cindi657: 9/10
Nov 30 2024 : Guest 99: 4/10
Nov 30 2024 : Guest 75: 3/10
Nov 28 2024 : Guest 70: 2/10
Nov 28 2024 : Guest 97: 6/10
Nov 28 2024 : Kalibre: 8/10
Nov 23 2024 : Guest 75: 2/10
Nov 17 2024 : vlk56pa: 9/10

Score Distribution

Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. Which monster composed "The Marriage of Figaro"?

Answer: Wolfman Amadeus Mozart

Here we have an example of the "pun" or play on words. We take the name of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and cleverly transpose the name of the half-man, half-wolf monster, the Wolfman, into it. Puns are considered amusing in some quarters. In others, they are punishable by flogging.

2. What do you get if you cross a criminal with a nun who practised in Calcutta until 1997?

Answer: Mugger Teresa

It's "Mother Teresa", but with the word "Mugger" instead of "Mother". Do you see? Not "Mother Teresa", but "Mugger Teresa". Ha ha.

3. "Doctor Doctor. I keep thinking I'm a musical instrument famously played by Arnold Jacobs of the Chicago Symphony" "Ah, you have a case of ..."

Answer: tubaculosis

It's not easy to make up jokes. Once you've come up with the concept of "tubaculosis", you then need to think of a famous tuba player.

4. A man walks into a bar, with the actress who played Spartacus's wife sitting on his left shoulder, and the writer of "Huis clos" on his right shoulder. The barman asks him to leave, saying ...

Answer: Sorry, no Jeans

The Jeans in question were of course Jean Simmons, and the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre. The latter has inspired the following extra joke, which you get at no extra cost:
Jean Paul Sartre walks into a bar. "Sorry", says the barman, "Huit-clos".

Answer: flat monkey

A Macaque's a type of monkey. What more do you need to know?

6. Knock Knock Who's there? [Blank] [Blank] Who? [Blank] So I had to knock. What's the missing word (hint - it's the surname of the man who invented dynamite)?

Answer: Nobel

Dynamite was of course invented by Alfred Nobel, the man who founded the Nobel Prize (do I win anything for being the 1 millionth person to use this trivia question?).

There is, as yet, no Nobel Prize for Knock Knock jokes, but I plan to submit the above as and when there is. It's not funny, but hell, they gave Yasser Arafat the Peace Prize.

7. What do you call a Swedish tennis player attacking the Starship Enterprise?

Answer: Bjorn Borg

I think this might actually be the least funny joke ever. It may also be the most difficult answer to get - how many Star Trek fans also know anything about sport?

Answer: A good Haydn

Interesting Fact: Haydn had a beautiful singing voice when he was young. His choirmaster, fearing he would lose it when his voice broke, agreed with Haydn that he would be castrated. Fortunately, Haydn's father found out and put a stop to it.

9. John McEnroe is playing tennis, and suffers a particularly bad line call. He turns to the umpire, only to find Harry Potter's godfather sitting in the chair. Incensed, he cries ...

Answer: "You cannot be Sirius!!!"

Harry Potter's godfather was called Sirius Black.
Cheer up. Only one more to go.

10. What's the capital of Australia?

Answer: Canberra

Okay, it's not a joke, but frankly the part of my brain capable of making up jokes has given up and died after the first 9. This now puts me in the perfect position for my new job making Christmas crackers.

Source: Author Islingtonian

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor thejazzkickazz before going online.
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