A Deep Dive into Weirdo Cinema [18] Quiz

Answer: From Justin to Kelly

After the almost immediate success of the first season of FOX's "American Idol", both Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, the winner and runner-up, respectively, were contractually obligated to follow through with "From Justin to Kelly", a $12,000,000 USD movie musical placing both of them into the roles of not-quite-star-crossed lovers who meet at Spring Break in the presumably big ticket Spring Break destination of Fort Lauderdale. Both of them bring their closest friends, and naturally all of them sing and dance their way to a happy ending.

But not too happy for the viewer. Commonly regarded as one of the worst movie musicals of all time (winning special Razzies for it), the film flopped hard in the box office upon releasing in 2003, but it's a window into a genre that either made it big ("Chicago" won Best Picture the year prior) or, like "From Justin to Kelly", would settle at 8% on Rotten Tomatoes. Fortunately, both of its stars managed to succeed despite.

Answer: Kevin Spacey

Somehow a joint venture between Chinese and French producers, this movie featured Spacey in one of those classic Jim Carrey conceits, of all things, where a man who doesn't spend enough time focusing on what matters is forced to suffer through trials and tribulations that are fantastical in nature. The catch is that instead of always saying yes or never telling a lie, Spacey's character manages to have his consciousness placed into a new cat, Mr. Fuzzypants, and he has to spend the rest of the movie connecting with his daughter, saving the family business, and finding a way back into his body.

Although somewhat forgettable in the grand scheme, this type of movie is a confluence of a bunch of weird decisions, and it suffers as a result. While Barry Sonnenfeld made big hits like the "Men in Black" series and the early "Addams Family" films of the 1990s, he was also known for some colossal flops-- "Wild Wild West" comes to mind. "Nine Lives" isn't as reviled as that one, though you could spend your lives watching better cat movies. Especially ones where cats don't jump off skyscrapers several times.

Answer: The Host

Before Bong Joon-ho found fame and critical renown in North America for "Parasite", the South Korean director dabbled in a number of unique genres, often pushing stories and concepts to their limits and executing them with near perfection. "The Host" was his take on the traditional kaiju sci-fi/horror film, a genre that originated in Japan with films like "Godzilla". In this movie, however, Seoul locals had to contend with an awful creature created by the dumping of toxic waste into the Han River.

The movie was a massive success, commonly becoming regarded as one of the best monster movies of the turn of the century. After debuting at Cannes, the film would become South Korea's highest-grossing movie of all time, and it would set Joon-ho up for his later neo-noir film, "Mother" (2009) and the dystopian sci-fi adaptation, "Snowpiercer" (2014). And if I'm being honest, all of these movies are worth the watch.

Answer: Monster Hunter

If there's ever a pair going down the list of video game adaptations and getting them sorted, it's director Paul W.S. Anderson and star Milla Jovovich (who married in 2009). While the two of them made six "Resident Evil" films, the concept for "Monster Hunter" rolled around for nearly a decade before finally appearing in theatres in late 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. And much like the "Resident Evil" films, "Monster Hunter" loses track of its own DNA fast, separating itself from the basics of the game in order to tell the story of a woman sucked into a portal only to be forced to walk through a desert, meet the locals (who can communicate with her very easily), and fight big monsters.

The movie also starred Tony Jaa and Ron Perlman in supporting roles.

Answer: Teleportation

The late 2000s were... erm... I wouldn't say a 'golden era' for teen films, but there were certainly a lot being made in an effort to keep up with the inevitability of needing something to fill the "Harry Potter" void ("Twilight" would certainly get in that way, and so would "The Hunger Games" in due time). "Jumper" was one of many that had a planned series, but never really made it out of the starting blocks. Based on a 1992 sci-fi novel, it featured Hayden Christensen as a teen (and later young adult) who discovered he had the ability to 'jump' to any location put into his mind. At the same time, he was hunted by Samuel L. Jackson's white-haired Roland Cox, the leader of a group set out to kill all the X-Men (...erm... jumpers) because they were inhuman.

Critics didn't like the film, partly because the concept wasn't all there but more because it felt rushed. Though visually interesting, one might accidentally ignore the film's myriad of unique settings because Samuel L. Jackson's shocking white hair immediately pulls the focus in all of his scenes. Interestingly, it was his idea; he claimed it contributed to the sci-fi aesthetic.

Despite other hits before and after, director Doug Liman would return to the teen genre with "Chaos Walking" in 2021 and whiff again, critically, with that one.

Answer: A polar bear

At the time of its 2016 release, "Norm of the North" was considered one of the worst animated films of the decade (this was before "The Emoji Movie" happened), and it's partly because it was trite, dulle, and somewhat devoid of any messaging. Though it featured a lengthy ensemble cast list, Norm himself was played by Rob Schneider, who allegedly ad-libbed a good amount of the content (great, you know, for animation).

This first movie involved Norm's ability to speak to humans in order to help foil a plot to commodify the arctic. He returned for three more sequels, somehow, none of which saw Schneider return to the lead role. He would be replaced by Andrew Toth. It's the type of movie you might want to see if you're interested in seeing what's at the bottom of the barrel.

Answer: Neil Breen

Though Breen had already come up in the B-movie sphere before "Fateful Findings" had its glorious tour on the festival circuit, it may have been his breakthrough film, commanding way too many heady concepts and topics for one film and somehow managing to be almost completely engaging. Breen, playing Dylan, manages to heal with the powers of a magic black stone found in the woods while also hacking into government secrets. It results in a suicide lamentation for the cinema ages, the systematic destruction of Congress by their own hands, and psychic powers (naturally). By the end of the movie, when Breen and his lover walk off into the forest, you might wonder simple things like "how?" and "why?", but honestly, that's the true joy of it.

"Fateful Findings", releasing in 2012, became a cult classic with Breen finding a level of internet fame on par with "The Room's" Tommy Wiseau. He would follow this film up with "Pass Thru" and "Twisted Pair", both of which ALSO feature Breen in the role of a Messiah-like hero who cracks the code on deeply-woven conspiracies. "Fateful Findings", however, may be his best.

Answer: Dom DeLuise

When Zack moved to a new town he tried and failed to join a gang of kids who skateboarded around the neighbourhood in this 1993 kids film, and his luck only really turned around when he came into possession of a talking skateboard with a bit of an uncanny ability to guide him to success. Oh yeah, and the skateboard was Dom DeLuise, exactly as you would expect (star turn, I know).

An exceedingly weird straight-to-video kids film of the 1990s, it was somehow followed by an unrelated sequel, "The Skateboard Kid 2", which featured a new kid, a new skateboard, and no Dom DeLuise. If I remember correctly, it ended with a magic ghost; I distinctly recall shouting at the television as a polaroid picture magically transformed to include the spectre that helped the protagonist all along. Crazy stuff.

Answer: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Though Nick Park and Aardman Animations had previously created a number of "Wallace & Gromit" shorts to great acclaim and pushed "Chicken Run" to cinemas in 2000 in the same style, "The Curse of the Were-Rabbit" was the first feature-length film they created, bringing the humble and unique clay critters to life in a parody of classic horror tales. In this one, Wallace and his loyal-but-knows-better dog, Gromit, had to defend the local crops from a number of bunnies... and then one big one.

When this movie released in 2004, it took the Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film at the next year's award ceremony, becoming the first clay-animated film to do so. Aardman wouldn't release another "Wallas & Gromit" feature film until "Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl", on Netflix, in 2024. Both would receive countless accolades.

Answer: Nicolas Cage

Beating the "Five Nights at Freddy's" adaptation to the cinema by a couple of years, "Willy's Wonderland" posited the ol' "what if ghosts haunted a bunch of animatronics" question that so many seem to ask. In this one, a mute janitor (played by Cage), started work at an old Chuck E Cheese-style restaurant containing a good handful of murderous robot animals, all inhabited by the spirits of serial killers and their cult posse. While a group of teens got dispatched, the truth came out that locals had been feeding hapless victims to the animatronics for years. The janitor, decidedly, was better than them.

Made before the COVID-19 pandemic, hype followed the niche horror flick until its eventual digital release in early 2021. It may be just as eclectic as you'd expect from a 2020s Cage movie, and a lot less tepid than "Five Night's at Freddy's" if you're not already looking at that one.