A Deep Dive into Weirdo Cinema [15] Quiz

Answer: Santa's Slay

Although the idea of an evil Santa Claus gained traction over time with grittier action and horror films cropping up in the decades to follow, "Santa's Slay" was pure B-movie horror, opting to leverage a C-list cast to play up the holiday fears and cheers. In this one, Santa simply became a demon instead of remaining the regular, ol' Saint Nick. It takes a pair of teenagers and, perhaps, the power of an angel to reverse the evil which, if they're lucky, runs out at the end of Christmas.

"Santa's Slay" was about as poorly-received as you'd expect, but featured Goldberg as well as Chris Kattan, Fran Drescher, Rebecca Gayheart, Tiny Lister, James Caan, and Dave Thomas amongst its cast. It's something you can put on if you're not taking the season seriously. There are, somehow, much worse Santa films out there.

Answer: Mel Gibson

And that Fatman was... Chris Cringle. Set in Alaska, this take on Santa is actually much more dire than most traditional Christmas movies. Mel Gibson, who plays Chris, portrays the character with a lot more melancholy as he is set upon by an assassin (played by Walter Goggins) hired by a rich child set on killing the Fatman himself. What results is a "John Wick-esque" story of vengeance in which Santa dispatches trained individuals with diverse and deadly skills, all to save the spirit of Christmas and revitalize his raison d'etre.

Though not too well-received critically, "Fatman" is a movie that plays its premise straight and turns out better for it. It's grim and action-packed, and that allows it to stand out against other holiday fare quite nicely. Releasing in late 2020, the movie suffered from limited releases due to the COVID-19 pandemic and, as such, only appeared in theatres for a week before going to VOD services. As such, it barely made back any of its budget and fell, quickly, into obscurity.

Answer: The Santa Clause

Tim Allen starred as Scott Calvin throughout all three of the "Santa Clause" movies which started, quite humbly, with a toy company marketing executive taking on the role of Santa after accidentally killing the original one and donning his suit. While that movie came out in 1994 and its sequel, "The Santa Clause 2: The Mrs. Clause", came out in 2002, Allen and director Michael Lembeck closed out the trilogy with one last go at the holiday with "The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause" in 2006.

This third and final movie featured Martin Short as Jack Frost as he set out to take over Christmas, purposely getting Santa sent back in time with an 'Escape Clause' in his Santa contract. Is it any good? Not particularly, unless you've bought into the series. This entry sees Aisha Tyler as Mother Nature and Peter Boyle as Father Time, however. And none of these picks stopped the film from getting nominated for five Razzies (though it won none of them).

Tim Allen returned to the role for a two-season Disney+ show airing from 2022 to 2023.

Answer: Batman & Robin

Joel Schumacher came in for two movies in this series in the 1990s after Tim Burton left it behind, and it started with the Val Kilmer-starring "Batman Forever" in 1995 (with Jim Carrey as the Riddler and Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face... and Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" on the soundtrack!). He followed it up with "Batman & Robin" only two years later-- an odd choice for a title since Robin was introduced in the prior movie, and this one introduced Batgirl instead.

But nonetheless, Kilmer was out for this sequel and George Clooney was brought in with a returning Chris O'Donnell as Robin and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. Poison Ivy was played by Uma Thurman, hot off success in "Pulp Fiction" and "The Truth About Cats & Dogs", and Mr. Freeze was none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose inclusion necessitate significant script rewrites (maybe for all the puns?) and more than $1.5M in costume design for his suit (which sold a LOT of Happy Meals). Batman, naturally, had to stop both foes at the same time.

"Batman & Robin" was significantly panned, and Warner Bros. would drop the "Batman" live-action films until Christopher Nolan picked them back up. In the meantime, this film won one of its eleven Razzie nominations. In the meantime, a possible sequel, featuring Nicolas Cage as Scarecrow, was binned entirely. Small bat-mercies, am I right?

Answer: Whoopi Goldberg

Perhaps not the two people you'd expect to cover such a heady topic... and sixteen years after the tragedy occurred... but the two of them (along with Gina Gershon and Luis Guzmán) headed a cast of actors experiencing the event first-hand with Sheen's billionaire character and his wife getting stuck in the elevator during the attack on the North Tower. Whoopi, meanwhile, plays a worker in the elevator dispatch room, keeping the pair and the other trapped riders in the know as the event plays out.

It helps to understand that this film, directed by Martin Guigui, was based on a play he adapted (by Patrick Carson). Further complicating any viewing of the film may be the insistence that the viewer be sympathetic towards highly-privileged billionaires who, in the end, are saved in the aftermath of the crisis. Worse still may be Charlie Sheen's recorded comments as a 9/11 truther-- something his co-stars claimed not to know. All of these, together, make "9/11" (2017) not only a difficult watch, but a very weird and deeply confusing one.

Answer: 1980s

You probably didn't know movies went down to Z-level, did you? If you're looking for the lowest grade of schlock cinema-- the real camp horror-- then "Cannibal Campout" meets an expectation. Releasing in 1988, it's the type of movie that really does find reward in the long-term, finding more popularity as a cult classic only thanks to the internet, because a film like this, just shot on a VHS camcorder, really wouldn't have had a chance at longevity.

It's super-cheap, guerrilla filmmaking in the grand tradition of both "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Manos: Hands of Fate", and the type of thing you'd only have watched, when it released, if you found it on a shelf in a general store. What you would've been treated to is a graphic, little film about a couple that encounters a pair of hillbilly cannibal brothers. Jon McBride, who starred in the film and directed it, would go on to make other weird straight-to-video treats like "Woodchipper Massacre" and "Feeders" in the coming years, the latter of which was made for $500, but became Blockbuster Video's most successful independent film release in 1996.

Answer: Annnihilation

No stranger to thoughtful sci-fi, director Alex Garland had previously written "28 Days Later" and "Sunshine" alongside director Danny Boyle and then proceeded into his own directorial debut with "Ex Machina" in 2014. "Annihilation" was the next on his list, appearing to surprisingly low box office returns upon releasing in 2018. It did, however, find significant viewership when it was released on Netflix later in the year, becoming a quick classic in the genre due to its startling imagery, its unique take on the unknown, and its ineffable weirdness.

The film (and Vandermeer's original novel) pertains to a group of specially-trained individuals who enter Area X, an expanding area of scientific unknowns, to record information about it, report back, and locate missing persons from the previous missions. Natalie Portman, who plays a biologist, joins a geomorphologist, a paramedic, and a physicist as they encounter much which can not be explained at risk of their own lives.

Well-received by critics, it's a visually stunning film and a great experiment in depicting Vandermeer's particular brand of acclaimed 'weird fiction'.

Answer: False

Although the series always seemed to plan on getting Bella Swan and Edward Cullen across the 'will-they-won't-they' marriage finish line, that engagement happened at the end of "New Moon" and the wedding occurred in "Breaking Dawn - Part 1". What may be more concerning is that "Part 1" also included the rapid pregnancy and birth of Bella and Edward's inevitable daughter, Renesmee, a name created by mashing both of their mothers' names together. "Part 2", naturally, features Bella as a vampire, having being transformed when the birth would have killed her, a rapid-aging daughter, and a vampire war.

All of the films in the series were extremely successful despite the obvious oddity that is the source material, but I'd like to call attention to two things-- the first being that the movie is worth seeing to be EXTREMELY weirded out by Jacob Black (the wolf played by Taylor Lautner) 'imprinting' on Bella's baby, determining the newborn to be his soulmate for eternity. (YIKES.). The second is the deeply upsetting animatronic doll used to portray baby Renesmee, an inclusion so uncanny and distracting that it, alone, is worth the watch to be burned into the brain's memory banks.

Answer: Rock Vegas

While the 1994 film "The Flintstones" turned out to be a major hit for Hanna-Barbera despite being very poorly-received by critics (and getting nominated for four Razzies, winning two), the 2000 prequel nobody asked for, "The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas", managed to match its energy on nearly every level (save for the fact that it was a massive box office flop, failing to recoup its budget).

This outing with the prehistoric family occurred before they were a family, with Fred and Barney dating Wilma and Betty for the first time, then taking them to the fictional 'Rock Vegas' for all manner of wacky hi-jinx. All of it culminated in a wedding for Fred and Wilma with the implication of another wedding on the way.

Interestingly, none of the actors from the original reprised their roles. John Goodman and Rick Moranis played Fred and Barney in the first one; they were replaced by Mark Addy and Stephen Baldwin.

Answer: Deadly Mile High Club

LifeTime has a tendency to make some fascinating thrillers, especially when they place the controls in the hands of the absolutely deranged. Take "Deadly Mile High Club", for example. First releasing in early 2020, this movie featured a man heading out to take flying lessons from a local pilot. The catch was that his female pilot, who as of recently used her skills to most recent ex, was prepared to dive headlong into another deadly obsession.

Director Doug Campbell, a LifeTime mainstay, also directed the 2015 Eric Roberts TV movie "Stalked By My Doctor" (and several of its sequels), "Deadly Runway" (which was also known as "Fatal Fashion"... and as "Designed to Kill"), and "Deadly Garage Sale". Obviously, I recommend them all.