Anatomy of a Song: "I've Never Been To Me" Quiz

Answer: A woman warning another woman not to make the same mistakes that she has

"I've no doubt you dream about the things you never do
But I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you"

Charlene's real life, much like the song, falls into two distinct parts. Her early adult years were a familiar tale of sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, marriage, divorce and a child brought up by her in-laws. Then, in 1979, after being diagnosed with Lupus, she experienced an evangelical Christian conversion that has characterised her life ever since.

Answer: True

The song was written by Ron Miller, Charlene's then boyfriend, and was originally composed as life advice from an older to a younger man as he is "begging for a dime for a cup of coffee" (Source: Wikipedia). Miller wrote or co-wrote songs for many Tamla Motown artists and his credits include "For Once in My Life", "Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday" and "Touch Me in the Morning". Charlene signed to Motown in 1974 and is often incorrectly lauded as the first white woman to sign for the label. That honor went to Chris Clark in the sixties.

Answer: A preacher man

"Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun"

Quite why a preacher man should feature in the song is never explained but no doubt the sexual prowess of preacher men was done no harm by the Dusty Springfield hit, "Son of a Preacher Man":
"The only boy who could ever teach me was the son of a preacher man".

Although "altar boy" is not the right answer, Charlene's follow-up single, "Used To Be", was ignored by many radio stations because of the line, "You're 12 years old and sex is legal; your parents don't know where or who you are." This was despite the fact that the message of the song was the complete opposite of that perceived.

Answer: St. Petersburg

"Oh I've been to Nice and the Isle of Greece
Where I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got"

The Isle of Greece? It sounds like whatever else Charlene was doing with her life, it wasn't paying proper attention in geography lessons. Unless, of course, she's making a political statement about the divided island of Cyprus!

Answer: Jean Harlow

"I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got"

I can find no evidence of Harlow having a connection to Monte Carlo either in a film role or in her private life. I guess that she is included to represent an image of sexuality and, more importantly, because her name rhymes with Monte Carlo. The others, therefore, might have got a look in had the lyrics required Copenhagen, Gloucester or Tallahassee.

Harlow - real name Harlean Harlow Carpenter - died tragically young, in 1937, of kidney failure. She was just 26.

Answer: Of a weary heart that has lived a million lies

"Please lady, please, lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today.
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes,
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies"

"I've Never Been To Me" was a slow burner. First released in 1976, it didn't hit its peak chart position until 1982. When it did, it reached Number three on the Billboard Hot 100 and Number 1 in many other countries around the world including the United Kingdom. Dreams of a rosy future, however, were just as elusive in real life as they were in the song. "Used To Be", the follow-up single on which she duetted with Stevie Wonder, was a very, very, very minor US hit and, well, that was that.

Answer: Kings

"I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things
That a woman ain't s'posed to see"

It's ironic that it hasn't been kings but queens that have boosted Charlene's career recently. "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" featured the song in both movie (1994) and musical (2006) formats. The latter gave Charlene the opportunity to release an autobiography entitled ... "I've Never Been To Me" in 2009.

Answer: All of these are given as examples of truth

"But you know what truth is? It's that little baby you're holding, and it's that man you fought with this morning; the same one you're going to make love with tonight. That's truth, that's love."

And that's the message of the song. A woman can only find true happiness with a man and a baby. Discuss (Lights fuse and runs for cover!).

Actually, the message is a bit more subtle than that. It's saying not to underrate the real thing that you have for glamorous dreams that are completely delusional.

Answer: By the time the song was a big hit, Charlene had moved to London and was working in a sweet shop

"I've Never Been To Me" was a very minor US hit in 1976. In 1979, Charlene experienced a conversion to evangelical Christianity and, two years later, she left Motown and the States to start a life in the UK with new husband Jeff Oliver. It was there, in 1982, whilst serving in a sweet shop (a newsagent's shop to be strictly accurate), that she learned about the "rediscovery" of "I've Never Been To Me" and its movement up the charts.

Answer: Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children

"Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children
That might have made me complete"

The line has often been quoted by anti-abortionists but, in context, seems to be no more than a woman looking back and regretting that she has missed out on children and a family life.