Anatomy of a Song: 'Patricia the Stripper' Quiz

Answer: Dennis

'Dennis is a menace
With his "Anyone for tennis?"'

Those of you who only know Chris de Burgh through his biggest hit, 'Lady in Red' might like to check out some of his other output, as he's not nearly as Middle of the Road as that might suggest.

Answer: Maude

'And Maude said, "Oh Lord, I'm so terribly bored"'

The beginning of the song gives the impression that the singer is moving in 'Hooray Henry' or 'chinless wonder' circles. Think of them as 'Bright Young Things', rich and aimless. The singer is obviously longing for a little more earthy entertainment.

Answer: A little place he knows down by the quay

'I'm going...out to dinner,
With a gorgeous singer,
To a little place I know,
Down by the quay'

Quay is pronounced 'key' and is a place where ships are unloaded. Many, in former dockyard areas of UK cities, are now very chic places with waterfront properties and social and eating places.

Answer: Delicia

'Her name is Patricia,
She calls herself Delicia
And the reason isn't
Very hard to see.'

Delicia is Latin for 'gives pleasure', which is presumably Patricia's aim. Delice and Delisa are variants of the name. Felicia is Latin for 'happy'. Morticia was Gomez's lovely (and strange) wife in "The Addams Family" and Gypsy Rose Lee was the most famous US stripper, born Rose Louise Hovick in Seattle, Washington in 1911 and also known as the 'Belle of the Yukon'.

Answer: Just to keep fat men thinner

'She said, God made her a sinner
Just to keep fat men thinner
As they tumble down in heaps
Before her feet'

An interesting (and not very savoury) justification! Pinner is a suburb in Middlesex and as far as I know, there is nothing there that would make anyone an ecydysiast (a word made up by H. L. Mencken for a strip tease artist). On the contrary, such luminaries as Sir Elton John and Screaming Lord Sutch (one of the most visionary politicians of the 20th Century) came from Pinner.

Answer: Her hips

'And with a swing of her hips
She started to strip'

This is a great karaoke song to sing, as you can really belt the rousing tune out. In 2005, Chris de Burgh rerecorded this song with 'Dustin the Turkey' to raise money for the National Children's Hospital in Tallaght. Some people felt that this was inappropriate.

Answer: Yes

'Well, Patricia was arrested
And everyone detested
The terrible manner in which
she was exposed'

According to the Sexual Offences Act 2003, this could still be an offence leading to up to 'six months or a fine in a magistrate's court or two years in a crown court.'

Answer: Her working clothes

'Later on in court
where everyone thought
A summer's run in jail
would be proposed..

But the judge said Patricia
Or may I say Delicia
The facts of this case lie before me
(knock, knock, knock)
Case dismissed...
This girl was in her working clothes...'

An ingenious get-out clause from the judge, who was evidently taken by Patricia's charms. 'In loco parentis' applies to people like teachers, who are considered to be 'in the place of the parents' for children. I just threw in 'in the pay of the CIA' for any conspiracy theorists out there.

Answer: Yelling out for more

'And as the last piece of clothing
Fell to the floor
The police were yelling out for more (more)'

The wrong answers are from The Police, not the police, and their hits 'Every Breath You Take', 'Don't Stand So Close To Me' and 'Walking On The Moon'.

Answer: 1924

'On a Saturday night
In 1924'

Other events of 1924 included the comic strip debut of Little Orphan Annie and 'The Times' publishing its first crossword puzzle. This great song first appeared on Chris de Burgh's album 'Spanish Train and Other Stories', which I thoroughly recommend. If you'd like to hear my version, I'm available for weddings, anniversaries and Bar Mitzvahs.