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I Wish I'd Said That! Trivia Quiz

We have all been there. Somebody offends you, you want to reply, but the linguistic centre of your brain seems to have taken the night off. This quiz is about some of the people who were actually able to come up with truly epic comebacks.

A multiple-choice quiz by Jondahr. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
Jondahr

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
350,003

Updated
Jul 23 22

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
7 / 10

Plays
1152

Awards
Top 20% Quiz

Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. "Sir, you are drunk."
"Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."

Who came up with this classic comeback? Hint

John Lennon

Oscar Wilde

Winston Churchill

Tom Waits

NEXT>

Question 2 of 10

2. Who offered this laconic piece of advice:

"There is a conspiracy against me, a conspiracy of silence! What should I do?"
"Join in." Hint

Tom Waits

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Charlie Chaplin

Oscar Wilde

3. John Wilkes is known to have been pinned to the wall by the Earl of Sandwich with the merciless statement, "Pon my soul, Wilkes, I don't know whether you'll die upon the gallows or of the pox."

How did Wilkes respond to this? Hint

"I thought, from the amount of spit you seem to be directing at me, that you had already settled on the latter."

"And I don't care if His Lordship is killed by a pack of swallows or an army of ducks."

"That depends, my Lord, whether I first embrace your Lordship's principles, or your Lordship's mistresses."

"Do not worry, my Lord, I do not plan to expire during your lifetime."

NEXT>

Question 4 of 10

4. One night at a bar, a man walks over to another man who had been receiving a lot of attention from the former's wife and had even signed an autograph for her. The first man unbuttons his trousers and pulls out his equipment, exclaiming:
"Since you're autographing things, why don't you autograph this?"

Then, after a moment of silence, the latter man replies:
"I don't know if I can autograph it, but perhaps I can initial it."

Who was the man with this famous comeback? Hint

Ronald Reagan

Alfred Hitchcock

Sam Shepard

Truman Capote

NEXT>

Question 5 of 10

5. If one is to believe the rumours, how did Cary Grant reply to the telegram a journalist sent him, reading "How old Cary Grant?" Hint

"If four words are all you have for me, I would suggest you make better use of them."

"Come again?"

"Cary Grant 36 next Wednesday. Come to party?"

"Old Cary Grant fine. How you?"

NEXT>

Question 6 of 10

6. Who, when asked what he thought of Western Civilization, replied: "I think that would be a very good idea"? Hint

Mahatma Gandhi

Mao Zedong

Leo Tolstoy

Josef Stalin

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Question 7 of 10

7. An actress asked her director which was her best side, and got the answer "My dear, you're sitting on it."

Which classic film director had the nerve to say this? Hint

Charlie Chaplin

Stanley Kubrick

Ridley Scott

Alfred Hitchcock

NEXT>

Question 8 of 10

8. An insult need not always contain words. After the opening night performance of a new play had ended, the playwright walks on stage to a thundering standing ovation. Amidst all the cheers, one member of the audience suddenly cries out a piercing "BOO!" The playwright turns to the audience member and says: "I quite agree with you my friend, but what can we two do against a whole houseful of the opposite opinion?"

Who originated this comeback zinger? Hint

Anton Chekhov

Sam Shepard

George Bernard Shaw

William Shakespeare

NEXT>

Question 9 of 10

9. Which film actor helped make a classic sword fighting scene much simpler by suggesting: "Why don't I just shoot him"? Hint

Harrison Ford

John Travolta

Arnold Schwartzenegger

Keanu Reeves

NEXT>

Question 10 of 10

10. The title of this quiz is said to once have been jealously uttered by Oscar Wilde, after James McNeill Whistler had made a very clever remark.

In what manner did Whistler strike down Wilde's "I wish I'd said that"? Hint

"Believe me, Oscar, so do I."

"You already did, Oscar."

"You will, Oscar, you will."

"But you didn't Oscar, did you?"

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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. "Sir, you are drunk." "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober." Who came up with this classic comeback?

Answer: Winston Churchill

Apparently, the conversation was with politician Bessie Braddock.

Churchill is also known to have said, when told by Nancy Astor that if he was her husband she would give him poison: "If I were your husband I would take it."

2. Who offered this laconic piece of advice: "There is a conspiracy against me, a conspiracy of silence! What should I do?" "Join in."

Answer: Oscar Wilde

The advice was offered to fellow poet Lewis Morris, who was complaining that the press would not print any of his poems, and more specifically, that none of them included his name on their lists of worthy candidates to replace the recently deseased Alfred Lord Tennyson as Poet Laureate.

Answer: "That depends, my Lord, whether I first embrace your Lordship's principles, or your Lordship's mistresses."

Apparently, Sandwich dubbed Wilkes his Nemesis after he had played a prank on him.

4. One night at a bar, a man walks over to another man who had been receiving a lot of attention from the former's wife and had even signed an autograph for her. The first man unbuttons his trousers and pulls out his equipment, exclaiming: "Since you're autographing things, why don't you autograph this?" Then, after a moment of silence, the latter man replies: "I don't know if I can autograph it, but perhaps I can initial it." Who was the man with this famous comeback?

Answer: Truman Capote

Truman Capote wrote a wide array of novels, plays and short stories, most famously his short story collection "The Breakfast Club" and the non-fiction novel "In Cold Blood", based on a true story.

5. If one is to believe the rumours, how did Cary Grant reply to the telegram a journalist sent him, reading "How old Cary Grant?"

Answer: "Old Cary Grant fine. How you?"

Cary Grant's real name was Archibald Alexander Leach, and he is best known as the star of various classic films, like "The Philadelphia Story" (1940), "His Girl Friday" (1940), "Arsenic and Old Lace" (1944) and "North by Northwest" (1959).

6. Who, when asked what he thought of Western Civilization, replied: "I think that would be a very good idea"?

Answer: Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi's tongue was definitely sharper than his sword; he also famously said: "Nobody can hurt me without my permission", "I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers", "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it", and of course "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind".

7. An actress asked her director which was her best side, and got the answer "My dear, you're sitting on it." Which classic film director had the nerve to say this?

Answer: Alfred Hitchcock

Alfred Hitchcock was notorious for his sharp tongue. He is also rumored to have fought off fans who "just had to see what he really looked like in real life" by suggesting they take a trip to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum.

Answer: George Bernard Shaw

The play premiering was "Arms and the Man".

9. Which film actor helped make a classic sword fighting scene much simpler by suggesting: "Why don't I just shoot him"?

Answer: Harrison Ford

On the day of the complicated fight scene, Harrison Ford was ill and not really up for the task, so he suggested that after the bad guy had jumped out and waved his sword around skillfully for a while, he would just pull out his gun and shoot him.

The result is one of the most iconic scenes of "Raiders of the lost Ark".

10. The title of this quiz is said to once have been jealously uttered by Oscar Wilde, after James McNeill Whistler had made a very clever remark. In what manner did Whistler strike down Wilde's "I wish I'd said that"?

Answer: "You will, Oscar, you will."

Whistler and Wilde are said to have been constantly competing over who had the sharpest and wittiest tongue.

Source: Author Jondahr

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor bloomsby before going online.
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