Calm Down Coach! Trivia Quiz

Answer: "Playoffs?"

Mora's Colts were 4-7 after losing 40-21 to the San Francisco 49ers. In his postgame press conference, he made an animated speech about the team's five turnovers and that no team on any level can win a game in which it turns the ball over that many times.

A reporter then asked him about the playoffs (the Colts had done well and made the playoffs the previous two seasons). Mora screwed up his face and in a squeaky and incredulous voice said "*Playoffs?* Don't talk about *playoffs?* You kidding me? *Playoffs?* I just hope we can win a game!" Just that single word "Playoffs?" rejoinder became an instant comic staple on radio and television sports shows and later, beer commercials.

The Colts wound up the season 6-10 and Mora was fired, replaced by Tony Dungy. Mora already held a special place in the hearts of many coaching meltdown fans for a 1996 outburst while coaching the New Orleans Saints, in which he raged that the team's offense, "couldn't do diddly poo" during the game.

Answer: Doughnut

Schoenfeld, a fiery hockey player who spent most of his years with the Buffalo Sabres, was coaching the New Jersey Devils in a 1988 playoff game against the Boston Bruins. Upset by what he regarded as bad officiating (what impact that had on the Devils losing 6-1 is unknown), Schoenfeld confronted referee Don Koharski outside the officials' dressing room.

After the two made accidental physical contact and Koharski had told Schoenfeld to get his hands off of him, the coach started yelling, culminating in saying, "Have another doughnut, you fat pig." Schoenfeld was suspended for one game, the Devils appealed, the officiating crew refused to work the next game with Schoenfeld behind the bench, and he finally served his suspension later in the series. That summer, Schoenfeld played in a celebrity golf tournament hosted by Koharski and the two buried the hatchet.

Answer: "Who we thought they were"

The 2006 Chicago Bears lit up the NFL, starting the season 5-0 and usually crushing opponents on both offense and defense. For their sixth game, they faced the 1-4 Cardinals, who had looked pitiful to that point. Somehow, the huge underdog Cardinals ran up a 20-0 halftime lead in the Monday night contest. Yet in the second half, the Bears got two touchdowns from their defense, one from Devin Hester on a punt return, built a 24-23 lead, and finally won when the Cardinals missed a field goal in the final minute.

After the game, Green struggled, calmly at first, to explain letting the game get away. He finally stormed "The Bears are what we thought they were. They're what we thought they were ... the Bears are who we thought they were! ... Now, if you want to crown them, then crown their [behinds]! But, they are who we thought they were, and we let them off the hook!" With that, he turned and walked from the podium.

The meltdown, roughly 40 seconds long, became an instant classic. Green was fired after the Cardinals finished the season at 3-13.

Answer: Unemployed

During a slow 1983 start (the Cubs started 5-14), Elia gave a memorable and profane tirade to the press, largely focusing on the heckling fans. The Cubs played all day games in 1983 and Elia fumed that "85% of the [expletive] world is working. The other 15% come out here.

A [expletive] playground for the [expletive]." The uncensored rant is widely available on the internet and could probably strip varnish off furniture. Elia later managed the Phillies and has coached for several other major league teams.

Answer: Saying "ain't"

Student reporter Jenni Carlson had written an article claiming that "the rumblings and the rumors" were pointing toward Cowboys quarterback Bobby Reid being benched because coaches were questioning his heart. She even made light of Reid's publicly sharing a chicken box lunch with his mother. Gundy made an impassioned defense of the character of his quarterback, and criticized the reporter for being so harsh toward an unpaid student athlete. Gundy's outburst won him several fans for his passion in defending a player and criticizing the press, but it also earned him some critics: Carlson, like Reid, was an unpaid student, and many people thought that Gundy would have been less critical of a male reporter than he was of Carlson. What most agreed on however was that his outburst made for riveting TV and radio. Gundy said that he wished he'd been better prepared, including having a written statement, so that he'd have had his facts better organized and not used the word "ain't".

Answer: Tommy Lasorda

Two of the many colorful observations of Tommy Lasorda, who managed the Dodgers from 1976-96.

Answer: The monetary value of an athletic scholarship at the university

A rational-sounding Dan Hawkins was talking to reporters about the pressures faced by Division 1 athletes. Discussing an anonymous letter sent to him by a parent, concerning his players getting only two weeks off in their offseason conditioning, Hawkins explained, "We gave them a week at the start of the semester rather than at the end, but here's my point".

After a brief pause, he started screaming "It's Division 1 football! It's the Big 12! It ain't intramurals! You got two weeks after finals, you got a week for July 4th, and you got a week before camp starts. Thats a month! Thats probably more vacation than you guys get. And we're a little bummed out that we don't get three weeks? Go play intramurals brother! Go play intramurals!" Talk show host Jim Rome enjoys playing the audio of the rant while firing questions at it: "What level of football is this? What conference? Is it intramurals? How much time off do you get? Should we play intramurals?"

Answer: McRae never threw a plant

The dustup began with a seemingly reflective McRae taking questions after his Royals lost a game to the Tigers. He suddenly started trashing his office. News footage shows several dazed reporters exiting, including one with a quite nasty cut on his cheek.

The video is widely available on the web and is a popular fan choice for the best blowup in history by a coach or manager. McRae managed the Royals from 1991-94 and Tampa Bay during the 2001-02 seasons, and has been a hitting coach with other teams since.

Answer: "What do you care? If you were 2-7, you'd be in a bad mood too!"

After Ditka's New Orleans Saints lost to the 49ers, bringing their 1999 season record to 2-7, Iron Mike held a testy interview session with reporters. Asked about injuries, he snapped "Talk to the trainer - next!" The next question was "Mike, why are you in such a bad mood", and he replied, "What do you care", adding "If you were 2-7, you'd be in a bad mood too!" The Saints finished the season 3-13 and Ditka was fired, presumably brightening his mood, as he had more time to spend on his broadcasting, restaurateur, and endorsement careers.

Answer: He threatened to kill Calipari

Following a competitive Atlantic 10 game, won by Calipari's UMass Minutemen, 56-55, Chaney took offense that Calipari had questioned the officials' calls after the game. After giving his own relatively calm postgame press conference, Chaney appeared at the back of the room as Calipari met the press. "Could I say this to you, please?" Chaney said. "You've got a good ball club.

But what you did with the officials out there is wrong, and I don't want to be a party to that. You understand?" A puzzled Calipari took offense at those words and Chaney advanced on him.

As a Massachusetts player stood up to separate him, Chaney screamed "I'll kill you", and, "I'll kick your [expletive]!" at Calipari, and threatened to have his players "go after" the Minutemen players when the teams met again later in the season. "I'm a dinosaur," said Chaney after the incident, "and I have problems with certain things in my league, but one thing I don't have a problem with is saying I'm sorry and moving on." The two coaches shook hands and embraced before the rematch game two weeks later.