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1. In his attempts to get me, Rowena the Dedicated Couch Potato, interested in sport, Sporty Sebastian appealed to my girly side. "You must like ponies, every girl loves ponies" he cried in desperation. About an hour into his lecture on the finer points of polo, he noticed that my eyes had glazed and small sounds, suspiciously like snores, were emerging from the depths of the hood of my cardigan. One fact about the sport stuck in my lazy brain though. Which of these four options is true about polo?
2. "Ribbons!" shouted my would-be personal trainer Sporty Sebastian. This made me, Rowena the Dedicated Couch Potato jump violently, and spill my candy all over the floor. Labouring under the misapprehension that all girls like ribbons, dancing, and music, Sebastian launched into an impromptu demonstration of his skills in rhythmic gymnastics. In awe of his enthusiasm, I gave him full marks of 10/10 in each of the three categories set down by the Federation Internationale de Gymnastique for international competition.
Which of these is not one of the three scoring categories for a rhythmic gymnastics international contest?
3. With me, Rowena, being such a truly devoted couch potato, my personal trainer Sporty Sebastian wracked his brains for a sport that might catch my interest enough to actually get me moving.
"I know!", he cried triumphantly, "Spa treatments, and a glass of wine. What more could you want?" I was doubtful that anything involving spa treatments and wine could actually be classed as sport, but was willing to be convinced. Which sport, with a World Championship held every August, was founded in a Welsh pub and involves lots and lots of mud?
4. As I, Rowena the Dedicated Couch Potato remained resolutely reclining, my personal trainer Sporty Sebastian resorted to a sneak approach to sports appreciation for the lazy. Skilfully commando-crawling across the lounge, he made a long arm and popped a DVD into the player. Snatching the remote and floating like a butterfly out of my reach, he forced me to watch Esther Williams, and The Kroftettes. They were demonstrating why they were considered among the best in the world when they helped pioneer their sport, which, since 1984, has been an Olympic event. Which sport was I watching?
5. Spotting the numerous books piled all around my recliner, Sporty Sebastian the personal trainer tried a literary angle to get me, Rowena the Dedicated Couch Potato, interested in sport. He casually inquired if I'd ever heard of a world record breaking sportsman who shared a name with a famous Elizabethan poet and dramatist. Which Olympic gold medalist, later disgraced after failing a drug test, was he talking about?
6. Despairing of getting me, Rowena the Dedicated Couch Potato, to actually rise from my recliner, top personal trainer Sporty Sebastian tried a different approach, sports where the participants sit down! As he waxed lyrical about the joys of angling, the sunny riverbank, the plash of the water, the large hamper full of food and drink, the padded seat-box, and so on, I drifted off into an idyllic reverie.
In England, anglers over a certain age are legally required to buy a rod license before they can fish. What age is this?
7. Deciding on a slightly sneaky approach to getting me, Rowena the Dedicated Couch Potato, to take an interest in sport, my personal trainer Sporty Sebastian played a nice piece of classical music for me. As the sound filled the air, he told me all about how the British ice skaters Torvill and Dean scored 12 perfect 6.0s for artistic impression, when they won the Winter Olympic Gold Medal in Sarajevo. Which famous piece of music did they skate to on that day in 1984?
8. Ever more determined to get me, Rowena the Dedicated Couch Potato, to take an interest in sport, Sporty Sebastian the personal trainer now tried to lure me from my lounging with tales of adventure and derring do, with yodeling, wrestling lions, crocodiles, and a handsome hunk.
Which famous "Tarzan of the Apes" was also the first man ever to swim 100 metres in under one minute?
9. In a bid to appeal to the glamorous side of Dedicated Couch Potato life, personal trainer Sporty Sebastian extolled the virtues and joys of the 'Sport of Kings'. A day at the races, mixing with the rich and famous should be enough to get anyone up and out of the house.
Which of these races is not one of the three which make up the English Triple Crown?
10. With tears of frustration in his eyes, poor defeated Sporty Sebastian decided to have one last final try at getting me, Rowena the Dedicated Couch Potato, up and moving. He withdrew to a safe distance and launched his secret weapon.
First played in England in 1997, the governing body for this sport goes by the acronym EIB. At the 2002 World Championships in Germany, the team event was won by the British squad, and the individual medal went to an entrant known only as "Hot Pants". Which sport is this?
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