Martian Walks Into A Sports Bar... Quiz

Answer: Super Bowl

Maxwell might have been exaggerating a little. A 2015 report stated the average Super Bowl lasts 3 hours 44 minutes. Super Bowl XLVII went for 4 hours 14 minutes. In 2008, the NFL recognised that ads might interfere with the enjoyment of the game and cut ad breaks from five to four. Maxwell was right about one thing the ads are high quality - they have to be when in 2018 ad packages started at $US5 million.
Maxwell was animatedly talking to his boss on Mars, "There is a half-time show that is almost as big as the show itself - It has its own producer and more people watch this part of the football game than the game itself and yet the NFL is too lousy to pay the artists an appearance fee and it blows the game time out by 30 minutes".
OK so lets get the facts straight: Yes, the scheduled break for a game is 15 minutes and performers are usually given 13 minutes to perform but with stage construction and set up time this blows out the time - Lady Gaga in Super Bowl LI took 29 minutes for the set. Performers are not paid an appearance fee but expenses are covered. Performers usually get a peak in music sales immediately after they appear.

Answer: Baseball

A baseball pitcher that pitches a perfect game is one that lasts a minimum of nine innings in which no opposing player reaches base, The pitcher can allow no hits, walks (Four balls), nor hit batsmen (automatic first base). In nine innings, 27 players face up, then 27 batsmen go down.

It differs from a no-hitter which is a game where a team was not able to record a single hit but walks to first base are allowed. A shutout is where a team does not score a run. Addie Joss of the Cleveland Naps pitched a perfect MLB game in 1908 with only 74 pitches.

When Felix Hernandez of the Seattle Mariners pitched a perfect game in 2012, this was the 23rd perfect game in MLB history.

Answer: Curling

Hurling is an Irish game which is something like a cross between Gaelic football and lacrosse.
Curling is played on ice, bowls is played on grass and Shuffleboard on a wooden surface but there are similarities between these three.

In curling, teams of four slide eight large granite rocks (sometimes called
stones) with flat bottoms that weigh between 38 and 44 pounds (17.2 and 19.9 kg) towards a target called the house, at the other end of the rink, 146 to 150 feet (45 to 46 m) away. Sweepers brush the ice in front of the rock as the rock travels towards the house to speed up or slow down the rock. Points are scored for the stones stopping closest to the centre of the house at the conclusion of each end (eight rocks thrown).

Curling has been called chess on ice.

Answer: Behind

Australian Rules Football is one of the oldest codes of football with its first set of rules ratified in 1859. The game was invented to keep cricket players fit in the off-season. As such it was played on ovals up to 200 yards long and 150 yards wide. (No wonder they need to have 18 players per side) Because the goals (6 yards apart) were so far away from each other kicking goals were fairly uncommon events and to pre-empt many draws occurring, a minor score was devised by 'missing' a shot at goal and scoring between the goal post and the 'behind 'post which were positioned 6 yards either side of the goal posts. A goal was worth 6 points when a player kicked the ball "on the full" through the middle goal posts (A six was the maximum score in cricket) and given a token point for kicking a behind. (If the ball was touched before it went through the goal posts or it hit the goal posts on the way through, it also scored a behind not a goal).

A good example of how behinds help, was in the 2018 Grand Final between Collingwood and West Coast Eagles. Both teams scored 11 goals but West Coast won by 5 points as they had five more minor scores. The scores were 11.13 (79) to 11.8 (74).

Answer: Duck

In golf, all holes have a 'scratch' score determined by a professional. Most holes are par four but there will always be some par threes and par fives on any course. Most courses have an 18 hole par of around 72.
A birdie is 1-under par on a hole.
An eagle is 2-under par on a hole.
A albatross or double eagle is very rare and is 3-under par. To get an albatross you need to get a hole in one on a Par 4 or Par 5 or a score of two on a par 5.

In cricket, the term "duck" comes from from the "duck's egg". The egg has the shape of the symbol for zero and hence a no runs score is called a "duck".

Te history goes back to July 17, 1866 when the Prince of Wales playing cricket was out for know runs, a newspaper wrote that "the prince had retired to the royal pavilion on a duck's egg". The name stuck.

Answer: It allowed the team to then kick for goal which was worth points Scoring a try did not score any points

In Rugby (League and Union), the try was originally worth no score but gave an opportunity to kick a goal. Getting the ball over the goal line allowed a team to "try at goal". A point was scored only if the kick went over the crossbar as in most football codes except soccer. The try was worth nothing. The first rules written around 1868 stated stated that "all matches are drawn after three days if no goal is kicked".

Standardisation occurred in 1886, with a try earned one point, and its 'conversion' two points. A drop goal was worth three points. In 1909 Rugby split in Rugby Union and Rugby League. The two games developed different rules. As scoring a try became more and more difficult, the value of a try has risen. In Rugby Union the try is worth five points, in League it is four points. A drop goal is still worth three points in Union but it League where it is called a field goal, it is worth only one point. In both codes a conversion (and penalty goals) are worth two points each (as they always have been).

Answer: Six consecutive deliveries by one bowler, where no runs are scored

Some people liken cricket to baseball but this is an oversimplification. Both have very complex rules and extensive jargon. At a superficial level the object, in cricket is to get the more runs than your opponent (just as in baseball - but that is where the comparison stops).

There are 11 batsman on a side who must face a series of bowlers from the other side. While a batsman is scoring runs, a bowler tries to get him out by getting the ball to miss his bat and hit the stumps behind him or by the batsman hitting a ball on the full to a fielder. (There are ten ways a batsman can get out).

The bowler bowls six legal deliveries at a time. This is called an over. Then another bowler must have a turn. If the batsman scores no runs in an over, this is called a maiden over.

It is unclear how this term originated but a credible but unsubstantiated explanation is that it took its name from a attractive woman, who 'bowled' over a young cricketer when they met at a cricket match.

Answer: The first five penalty shots per team are best of five

The 1994 was the first World Cup final where there was no goal scored even after 30 minutes overtime or 120+ minutes of playing time.
Penalty shootouts took place with Italy kicking first. Both teams missed their first kicks but both scored the next two. Italy missed on their fourth kick but Brazil scored. Italy missed their fifth - there was no need for Brazil to kick again - They had won the title.

If the penalty score was equal after five rounds, sudden death takes place: Additional rounds of one kick each are used until the deadlock is broken.

Answer: Ten Pin Bowling

In ten pin bowling, you get two balls to knock down ten pins. If you manage it in one ball you get a strike, If you get it in two balls this is a spare. A perfect game is 11 strikes in a row scoring three hundred. This is very rare.
Three strikes in a row is a "Turkey" and is noteworthy. A "Turkey Sandwich" is a spare and then a turkey and then another spare. "That's pretty good" reports Maxwell. A "Chicken Sandwich" is a strike followed by three spares and another strike. Maxwell states "This would be a minimum expected score in competitive bowling".

By now Maxwell is ravenous. He searches futily in the little bowl that once held peanuts for any last morsel wishing he could get his hands on a turkey Sandwich or at least a chicken sandwich.

Answer: Biscuit

Baseball has arguably more statistical parameters and more jargon than any other sport:
A meatball is a very easy to hit pitch (ie it is usually a mistake pitch).
A lollipop is a slow curveball with a severe drop.
A can of corn high, easy-to-catch, fly ball hit to the outfield. This originated from canned goods being stored on high shelves in grocery stores, needing a stick to poke them and subsequently catch.
A Pepper is a training exercise (and sometimes a game in itself) where one player hits ground balls to a group of fielders who are standing fairly close. Some ballparks ban this activity because of potential to injure spectators, as well as because repeated play damages the grass.

A biscuit is an ice hockey term meaning the puck. "You gotta get the biscuit in the basket" where "basket" is the goal.