Jeff-isms Trivia Quiz

Answer: The Sock Gap

"My advice is to get them off right after your shoes and before your trousers...that's the sock gap. Miss it and suddenly you're a naked man in socks. No self-respecting woman will let a naked man in socks do the squelchy with her."

Taken from the episode "Size Matters", series 1, episode 2.

Then again, to Jeff taking off your socks is foreplay.

Answer: Porn Buddy

"In the event of Steve's death, the first thing I will do, upset though I will be, is go straight to his house and remove all the pornography before his parents can find it. And he's pledged to do the same for me. That's how close we are!"

Taken from the episode "Flushed", series 1, episode 1.

Have to quote Jeff again for this one. - "Your best friend is dead, but there's a bright side." - It always amazes me how his mind works; he would be capable of great things if he weren't so obsessed with sex.

Answer: Unflushable

Jeff: "Steve, do you know what I call this kind of woman? You know,
the total "can't get rid of"."

Steve: "Is this gonna be really tasteless? Am I gonna be ashamed to be your friend?"

Jeff: "It's a technical term. It's just a harmless expression..."

Steve: "Hit me"

Jeff: "unflushable"!

Steve: "Turn around Jeff, walk away!"

Jeff: "You know, because they keep bobbing around."

Steve: "No, no, no, Jeff! GO! GO! ... Don't look back. GO!"


Taken from the episode "Flushed", series 1, episode 1.

Sick as the term might be, it seems to aptly fit Jane.

Answer: Nudity Buffer

"When you first see an attractive woman, you've got a nudity buffer of maybe, 5 minutes before you've fully worked out what she looks like naked."

"If you don't get in there and talk to her during that first five minutes, it's too late cause then she'll be naked in your head and you'll forget rule one of playing it cool!"

Thaken from the episode "The Girl With Two Breasts", series 1, episode 5.

This is one of my favorite episodes, where Jeff meets a girl who doesn't speak English. We see their conversation from a his and hers perspective.

Answer: V.A.A.

"You know what's great about skirts? When a woman's wearing a skirt, you know, you know, that somewhere in that room shifting all the time is the V.A.A. The Visual Access Angle. A clear line of sight right to base camp. You just have to switch chairs right, or maybe move your head a bit, or accidentally fall on the floor and there'll be nothing but clear air between intimate sighting number one...Sorry I was just thinking about skirts"

Taken from the episode "Dressed", series 2, episode 7.

This quote reminds me of Sharon Stone's famous scene in 'Basic Instinct'.

Answer: N.A.T.

"The first step along the path to the forest of woman...the first sign post along the road to intimate squelching." (Otherwise known as "Nose Avoidance Tilting")

Taken from the episode "Naked", series 2, episode 8.

I think of N.A.T. whenever I see a scene in a T.V. show or a movie where the characters slowly move towards each other while tilting their heads.

Answer: The Boyfriend Zone

"Yeah, but, Steve, you're entitled to her stockings... you're still in the zone... the boyfriend zone. This is the tailing-off period. You've still got a load of stuff in her flat. You might still have a wedding to go to together. You're under joint headings in your friend's address books."

Taken from the episode "Flushed", series 1, episode 1.

Just another of Jeff's wacky isms.

Answer: Accidental Word

"Only an interview? What if I panic? You know, what if I say an accidental word... there's pressure, you know, the wrong word could just pop out of my mouth by accident... Nipples!"

Taken from the episode "Sex, Death, and Nudity" series 1, episode 3.

Jeff seems to say a lot of accidental words, in the episode "Her Best Friends Bottom" we see why when "Captain Subtext" is turned on, these words are all he really thinks about.

Answer: The Giggle Loop

"It's like a feedback loop. You're somewhere quiet. There's people. It's a solemn occasion - say, a wedding. No - it's a minutes silence for someone who's died. The minute is ticking away... tick tock tick tock... and suddenly this thought pops into your head - The worst thing you can do in a minute silence is laugh. And you almost do, as an automatic reaction. But then, you think how awful it would have been if you HAD laughed, and you almost laugh again, only its a bigger laugh. But, then you think how funny it would have been if you'd laughed that bigger laugh, but this time the laugh is an enormous laugh. Let this one out and you get whiplash! So you're standing there, in this quiet room, shoulders going like you're drilling the road, and what do you think of the situation? Dear Christ! You think it's funny!"

Taken from the episode "Sex, Death, and Nudity" series 1, episode 3.

"To know about the giggle loop, is to become part of the giggle loop", so true.

Answer: Only smile at her face.

"Rule one of playing it cool... only smile at her face."

Thaken from the episode "The Girl With Two Breasts", series 1, episode 5.

Great advice for Jeff to give himself, but apparently you forget this rule after the 5 minute "Nudity Buffer".