Silly Spanish Emergencies Trivia Quiz

Answer: Ayudame, por favor! Acabo de comer un puerco espin!

Each answer starts with the exclamation, "Please help me!" The correct answer means, "I just ate a porcupine". "Pelee con un chacal" means, "I got in a fight with a jackal." "Tengo el cuello tan largo como una jirafa" means, "I have a neck as long as a giraffe". "Vivo en un arbol con mi madre, mi padre, y tres ardillas" means, "I live in a tree with my mother, my father, and three squirrels".

Answer: Te acostaste en un campo tranquilo con muchos flores alrededor y con pajaros cantando en los arboles.

The correct answer: You would not end up with these injuries if you had fallen asleep in a peaceful field with flowers all around you, and birds singing in the trees. You might have gotten these injuries by: 1)drinking a bottle of tequila and waking up in the middle of a bull fight, 2)Saying "no" when the priest asked you if you would take this woman as your wife, or 3)fighting with a jackal.

Answer: Tengo un gran dolor de la oreja, y estoy cubierta/o de hojas y ramas.

Although he would have to see it to believe it, the doctor would probably understand you if you said, "I have a horrible pain in my ear, and I'm covered in leaves and branches". It would not help to say: 1) My body is covered in green spots, 2) My ears are as big as trees, or 3)My belly is bigger than that of my wife, and she's pregnant.

Answer: Pidiendo una botella de agua mineral con tu cena.

You shouldn't regret ordering a bottled water with your dinner. You should regret eating in a restaurant that had chickens running around in the kitchen, sharing your meal with the pigs that were hanging around outdoors, and brushing your teeth with water from the tap.

Answer: Tu ex-novio/a, quien te engano con tu mejor amiga.

You might want to call a priest who can administer your last rites. Or you might call your mother, who has loved you and taken care of you all your life. You also might consider calling the insurance company, so that you can buy life insurance (just don't tell them about the boa when they ask about current medical conditions).

But whatever you do, don't call your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, who cheated on you with your best friend.

Answer: Te banaste con tu mascota, que es una medusa.

Those stings are probably a result of the fact that you took a bath with your pet jellyfish. Though brushing your teeth with a razor, washing your hands with shaving cream, and falling asleep in the bath tub may cause other complications, they probably wouldn't cause sting marks.

Answer: Pedir a un amigo que te desenrede

If this ever happens to you, you should ask a friend to untangle you. Do not roll around in butter and salt, offer your friends a beer, or try to run a marathon. Any of these options could only make the condition worse.

Answer: Tratar de quitar los objetos con un iman.

Don't try to remove the objects with a magnet. It would better to: take your son to the hospital to talk to a surgeon, call the dentist to see if there's a way to fix your son's broken teeth, or take your son to a psychiatrist.

Answer: Tener hijos perfectos.

Mothers have been known to warn their kids about things that could never happen in the real world, such as: getting their faces "stuck that way" (translated as "stuck in a strange position"), shooting themselves in the eye ("You'll shoot your eye out"), or being attacked by La Llorona. La Llorona is a Mexican legend about a woman who drowned her son to get back at her husband for leaving her.

She supposedly cries constantly (hence the name) and sometimes kidnaps or attacks other people's children. Mexican mothers sometimes threaten their kids that La Llorona will come get them if they're not good. One threat I've never heard: "If you're not good, you'll have perfect children."

Answer: Escribir tu nombre

It would be dangerous to drive in rush-hour traffic. You also might hurt someone by writing the instructions on how to disarm a bomb backwards. Fighting with a jackal is always dangerous, whether you do it backwards, forwards, or any other way. "Escribir tu nombre" (writing your name) backwards might be strange, but it's hardly dangerous.