Bit of This and That 6 Trivia Quiz

Answer: A line of bathtubs

The river Carron is a very short river in a beautiful area of central Scotland. Such is its reputation for loveliness that it has found itself in more recent times with several large objects named after it - and a line of bathtubs. For some reason, I find this rather comical.

The river itself was once much wider than it is today. A dam constructed on it in the 1930s saw an end to that. Before it was built, however, the river needed a two span bridge to enable people to cross from side to side. Today, with its waters absorbed into the dam, this large bridge on the much narrower river looks somewhat incongruous, a little like a sombrero on a mouse.

Answer: It preferred to bite them

That's frightfully funny. Bred from the Newfoundland, Caucasian Shepherd, and East European Shepherd, the Moscow Water Dog was created by an organisation whose work was to provide trained working canines for the Russian military. Designed to be a water rescue dog, this animal turned out to be a complete failure. Certainly it swam out to people struggling in the waters, but instead of nobly dragging them back to safety, the Moscow Water Dog preferred to savagely bite them.

It wouldn't be at all surprising to learn that it probably held them under with its large paws as well.

Answer: One hundred years

Remarkable, isn't it? Thomas Henry Clark lived from 1893 until 1996. Contributing more than 100 publications to the world's scientific knowledge, he was one of Canada's leading geologists. Achievements over his lifetime include the following: He headed a project that mapped the geology of the Appalachian Mountains along the border between Canada and the US; served as the head of the Redpath Museum for twenty years; discovered that maps relating to the Laval were inaccurate and set out recharting the entire Montreal area and the lowlands bordering the Saint Lawrence river and seaway; correlated an enormous load of information on various geological data; was involved in numerous oil, gas and other engineering works.

In between all this, this remarkable man found time to teach geology, paleontology and stratigraphy at McGill University for sixty-nine years, only retiring from that position when he turned one hundred years old.

At that age, most other people are vainly trying to put their dentures in back to front.

Answer: Charles Dickens

"A House to Let" was published in 1858, and was the first of four similar projects worked on by these four authors. Wouldn't you love to have been a fly on the wall listening to them working out the pros and cons of it all? The authors wrote a chapter each, with Dickens and Collins additionally working on an introduction and a closing chapter.

The story revolves around an elderly lady who grows suspicious about activity in a seemingly abandoned house across the road from her own. She thinks she has seen an eye peering at her and asks her two suitors to investigate for her.

Answer: To more or less sedate the bees

A bee smoker is a piece of equipment that beekeepers have used for thousands of years in one design or another. Squirting smoke into hives is said to calm the bees down and prevent their stinging. It probably half suffocates them in reality. The process of this is actually quite interesting though.

The smoke activates certain chemicals in each bee's system that tells it that it may have to flee the hive because of a possible fire. In order to endure the projected exodus, the bee then becomes hungry and starts eating more honey.

As it eats, its stomach distends - and a distended stomach makes it hard for a bee to sting.

Answer: His amputated leg

Brook Watson lived from 1735 until 1807. He was the equivalent of a big business man today, as well as being a soldier, General James Wolfe's commissary, and eventually the Lord Mayor of London. Watson was also on the founding committee for Lloyds of London, serving later for ten years as its chairman.

When he was fourteen, however, while working as a crew member on one of his uncle's ships, Watson was attacked by a shark and lost his right leg from just below the knee. Impressively, he refused to let this hold him back in any way. Over the years that followed this incident, Watson's abilities eventually saw him awarded a baronetcy. Accordingly he had his coat of arms designed, and there, pride of place in the upper left corner, resided an engraving of his amputated limb. Dare we say it gave him a leg-up in life?

Answer: Held a mock funeral for them

Oregon-born Charles Crookham (1923-2004) worked his entire life in the judiciary. Apart from rising as high as a judge, he was also Oregon's attorney general for a time, a dyed-in-the wool Republican, fought in the second world war, and was an historian of some note in the field of military history.

As a judge, he was thorough and competent and known for not displaying the slightest trace of humour in his work. Yet this was a man who also wore a bowtie whenever he could, and who held a mock funeral when Roman numerals were retired from use in state pleadings. One suspects that underneath that bow tie and judge's robes, there beat the heart of a frustrated comedian.

Answer: His dog killed a goose

Roy Sydney George Hattersley, Baron Hattersley, FRSL, PC was born in Sheffield, England, in 1932. He was a journalist, writer, Labour politican, member of Parliament for thirty-three years, and deputy leader of the Labour Party for ten years. That's his resume at any rate, and a little boring it is to be sure.

The most interesting part of his life up until his retirement seems to be the fact that his father was a Catholic priest who scaled the walls of the presbytery in order to marry. So, after his nice safe life as a would-be socialist and upstanding member of society, and with never a mark against his name, what happened to poor old Roy upon his retirement? He earned himself a "criminal record" in 1996 when his dog Buster killed a goose in a royal park during one of their daily walks.

The indignant Roy, who represented Buster "in court" blustered that Buster had only acted in self-defence, but to no avail. He left the court with a criminal record now indelibly marked against his name, declaring louder than ever that it was time England became a republic.

Answer: Books worn as a fashion accessory

Girdle books were small leather bound works of literature or prayer worn by medieval clergy members, nobles and members of the upper class as a form of fashion statement and convenience combined. The leather covering on these books extended down below the bottom half of each book, long enough to be tied around a girdle, sash or belt. Fashion decreed that each book must hang "upside down and backwards" so that they could be swung up into their owner's hands in one smooth movement, falling open at the marked pages.

These girdle books, which remained in fashion for an astonishing 300 years, served the dual purpose of leaving both hands free, and preventing the books (some of which were covered in jewels) from being stolen by grab and run thieves.

As fine a piece of affectation as ever there was, but historically interesting. Today though, and rather sadly, there are only twenty-three copies of girdle books left in the world.

Answer: Castrated himself

Gang Bing served under the third Chinese emperor of the Ming dynasty. The emperor grew fond of Gang Bing, and trusted him so completely that he placed him in charge of the palace whenever he was away on hunting trips or other excursions. This led to a bit of dilemma for Gang Bing, because the emperor had a harem of seventy-three concubines. He feared being left in charge of the concubines by default would lead to charges of hanky-panky against him by his enemies. So, in order to impress his emperor and prove that his loyalty was beyond question, what did the foolish Gang Bing do? He cut off, not only his testicles, but also his penis, and placed them as a gift beneath the saddle of the emperor's unfortunate horse.

It doesn't say how long Gang Bing lived after this terrible act, or how he managed to urinate without the necessary equipment, but it is known that he died in 1411, after which the grateful emperor made him the Patron Saint of Eunuchs. The moral of this story is that one should always hang on to the family jewels to hand down to future generations. They're far more valuable than any Ming vase.