Attack of the Mutant 50ft Kebab Quiz

Answer: Turkey

Although kebabs are consumed in all of these countries, Turkey is generally thought to be the main place from which the kebab as we know it originated, as well as Iran. Kebabs were made of small cuts of meat, or ground meat, which were cooked over fires on skewers. Small cuts of meat were more practical for cooking than roasting whole animals (as was the practice in Europe in medieval times, where land was more extensively covered by forests) due to fuel shortages and small cuts of meat being available in urban butchers' shops. Turkish soldiers also used their swords as skewers for grilling freshly killed animals.

The mutant kebab's ancestors date as far back as 17th century BC, with stone supports for skewers being discovered in Santorini in Greece; Homer also mentions meat roasted on spits in the 'Iliad'. Archaeologists have also unearthed animal bones and earth ovens in both Europe and Southwest Asia / the Middle East dating back at least 250,000 years.

Answer: Pork

Islamic law forbids the eating of pork. The Qur'an states, 'He has only forbidden you what dies of itself, and blood, and flesh of swine.' Doner meat may be made up of several types of meat, including lamb, chicken, veal or beef, but you're very unlikely to find pork in it in your average kebab shop.

However, according to articles in the Independent and British Asian web magazine Desiblitz, there have been a small number of cases of doner meat containing pork. The meat blocks also contain copious amounts of oil, and sometimes breadcrumbs, and it is almost impossible to tell what parts of animals have been used because the meat has been processed and refined. (Contrary to Mancunian urban legends, doner meat does not contain pigeons or heroin.)

Answer: Cherries

Ideally, if you're going to make kabab bil karaz - or cherry kebab - you should use the small bitter cherries known as St Lucie's cherries. One recipe I found online suggests pomegranate molasses as a substitute that has a similar flavour, while another suggests using sour cherries and adjusting the amount of lemon or sugar in the dish.

The cherry kebab comes from Aleppo in Syria, said to be one of the kebab capitals of the world and located on the ancient trade route of the Silk Road, though sadly, in recent times, it became more famous as a central point of the Syrian Civil War. An Israeli variation exists which uses sumac.

Answer: Meatballs

Kofte, also known as kufteh or kofta, are meatballs which are consumed in the Indian subcontinent, the Balkans, Greece, Cyprus and the Middle East, and are usually made of beef, lamb or even fish, though non-Muslim countries such as Greece have variants containing pork. Kofte kebabs can either be served on a skewer or wrapped in pitta or naan bread; in Iran, Azerbaijan and Iraq, kofte can also be served with spicy gravy. Kufteh tabrizi, an Iranian variant, contains split peas, while vegetarian variants in India can be made from potatoes, paneer, calabash or even bananas. Pakistan and India also have a variant called nargisi kofta with a boiled egg in the centre, thought to be a forerunner of the Scotch egg.

Answer: The Indian subcontinent

Shami kebabs are usually made with minced mutton or lamb, though chicken is used occasionally, held together with a mixture of chickpeas and eggs. They are often eaten during Eid celebrations, and served with sliced onions, chutney and lemon juice. They resemble patties, or burgers. A legend states that the shami kebab was invented for a toothless Nawab (viceroy) of Lucknow in India, who was allegedly so fat he could not get on a horse, and the kebab had to be made soft and fine enough for him to be able to eat it.

As 'Red Dwarf' fans may recall, the kebab that attacked Lister in 'Polymorph' was not, in fact, a real kebab, but the titular shapeshifting alien. Kebabs are one of Lister's trademark favourite foods; he invents a recipe known as shami kebab diablo, a fiendishly hot kebab which he describes as 'like eating molten lava'.

Answer: Germany

This bad boy was made in Berlin, the birthplace of the döner kebab as we know it. According to the German site Deutsche Welle, it broke in two when served, and was served with pitta bread and red and white cabbage. The cooks involved used a herb sauce and not a garlic one, as the smell would have been too overpowering! The previous record was held by an Australian kebab made for the Applause Festival in 2004.

Kadir Nurman, a Turkish immigrant to Berlin, is credited with introducing the döner kebab to Germany as a fast food in 1972, when he set up a stall at Zoo station in Berlin. He sold pitta bread filled with döner meat and salad, to give German workers on lunch breaks a portable meal. He was awarded by the Association of Turkish Döner Manufacturers in 2011, and was said to be unhappy with the modern döner kebab as he felt it had too many ingredients. Berlin, incidentally, has around 4000 kebab shops (and I saw loads of them when I went on holiday there in 2012!)

Answer: True

Yes, this is true! The right-wing politician Robert Ménard was elected Mayor of Béziers, a town in the department of Hérault in the south of France, in 2014 with support from the Front National. Ménard stated that kebabs were 'not a part of French culture', and that he felt there were too many kebab restaurants in France. (According to an article in the Turkish newspaper, the 'Daily Sabah', from 2015, kebab restaurants only make up 5% of the restaurants in Béziers.) The Front National themselves also criticised the 'kebabisation' of France during the 2014 elections, and claimed that the Loire Valley was being turned into an 'Oriental city' by the increasing presence of kebab shops.

Answer: Shish kebab

Shish kebabs, or kabobs, consist of cubes of grilled meat on a skewer, sometimes alternating with vegetables, and originated in the Middle East. It takes its name from the Turkish word 'sis', meaning 'sword' or 'skewer'. A Central Asian equivalent is shashlik. Vegetarian variations use halloumi cheese and/or roasted vegetables.

A chapli kebab is a patty eaten in Pakistan and Afghanistan, made with minced beef, onions, tomatoes, chillies and spices. Kalmi kebab is an Indian dish with marinated chicken drumsticks cooked in a tandoor. Iskender kebab is a Turkish dish made of döner meat and topped with spicy tomato sauce.

Satay (or 'sate' in Indonesia) is a grilled skewered meat dish commonly served with a spicy and sweet peanut sauce. It is eaten in southeast Asia and is most commonly associated with Thailand.

Answer: Suya

Suya is a spicy barbecued kebab made with beef, lamb or chicken, and contains innards and tripe as well. It is marinated before grilling, and served with dried pepper and sliced onions. It originates from northern Nigeria and is a traditional dish of the predominantly Muslim Hausa people. Kilishi is the dried version, coated in a sweet peanut paste called labu, and is similar to beef jerky.

As for the other answers, they're all Nigerian foods. Maafé is a meat and peanut stew eaten in western Africa, originating in Mali. Frejon is a black bean and coconut soup/pudding which is particularly popular in Yoruba communities, and is traditionally eaten on Good Friday. Echicha is a mixture of cocoyam, palm oil and pigeon peas, and is a traditional dish of the Igbo people of southwestern Nigeria.

Answer: Tabbouleh

Tabbouleh is made with soaked bulgur wheat, chopped tomatoes, onions and sometimes lettuce, and flavoured with lemon juice, olive oil, parsley and mint. It originates from the Levant, the area which includes Iraq, Israel/Palestine, Cyprus, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon and part of Turkey (the Hatay province on the eastern Mediterranean coast). If you go to a Middle Eastern restaurant and order a mezze, a collection of small dishes, it's very likely to contain tabbouleh.

Fiambre is from Guatemala, while coleslaw is more of a western European dish and Caesar salad is a Mexican-American dish. You're unlikely to find any of these in a kebab shop, although baked potato outlets may give you some coleslaw for your spud.