By Order of the Pun-Master General Quiz / Test | Humanities

Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. GEOGRAPHY Can you tell the Pun-Master General which geographical location has the worst rodent population?

Answer: Hamsterdam

The Pun-Master General hopes you got this first question right. Hamsters have increased in population in certain places, especially Hamsterdam. Everyone knows that hamsters can't be found on the continent of Horsetralia, the city of Catmandu in Nepal, or Cowloon, an urban area of King Kong...or can they?

2. WORLD The Pun-Master General was travelling through France when he noticed three cats drowning in a river. What did he shout out in French?

Answer: "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq"!

The Pun-Master General shouted at the top of his voice "Un (one), deux (two), trois (three), quatre (cats), cinq (sank)!" A nearby farmer immediately came to the rescue and was able to avert a cat-astrophe by rescuing the three drowning cats. He later found out that one of the cats had chased a duck to the river and he was now a duck filled fatty puss!

3. HISTORY The Pun-Master General read that Britain was a very wet place while Queen Elizabeth II was monarch. This is because she had a very long ______ ?

Answer: Reign

People didn't believe Queen Elizabeth II would reign for as long as she had, but it was over sovereignty years. The Pun-Master General believes this is due to her never having a bad heir day and being able to balance a crown on her head. This has been her crowning achievement.

4. GENERAL The Pun-Master General visited an old friend at a drug rehabilitation centre and there was a sign on the lawn which read "Keep off the ______"?

Answer: Grass

The drug rehabilitation centre was a happy place, with everyone seeming to be on a high. Some people enter the facility and make a complete hash of it. The Pun-Master General was pleased that his friend, who happened to be a nun, had decided to kick the habit. They took a walk in the immaculate gardens, minding the grass, and could not see a weed in sight.

5. SPORTS The Pun-Master General was surprised at how many soccer clubs are recruiting babies as soon as they can walk. This must be because they are good ________?

Answer: Dribblers

The Pun-Master General used to have a ball when he played soccer. He tried to play tennis but membership at the club was first come first serve. He learned to play golf instead but it was causing a wedge between him and his wife. He finally settled on learning how to doggy paddle and his first lesson went swimmingly.

6. HOBBIES Invited to go fishing with some friends, what happened to the Pun-Master General when his boat got stranded in the middle of the sea?

Answer: Became stuck between a rock and a hard plaice

The Pun-Master General was having a good time until his friend started carping on about the weather. He tried to bait him and was about to tell him to get on his pike when a storm blew in and his boat started to flounder. He eventually became stuck between a rock and a hard plaice. By this time, his patience was wearing fin and he haddock enough of fishing.

7. HUMANITIES The Pun-Master General was travelling home on the train with his wife after watching a musical at the theatre. What did the train conductor say to her?

Answer: "My Fare, Lady"

The train conductor had seen the same musical as the Pun-Master General and his wife. After she paid the fare, they all had a sing song. "The Train in Spain", "Get Me to the Station on Time", "On the Caboose Where You Live" and "I Could Have Whistled All Night" were just some of the songs they were singing.

8. CELEBRITIES Sitting in the waiting room at the dentist, the Pun-Master General was leafing through a celebrity magazine and was amazed at what celebrities use to keep cool. What do they use?

Answer: Fans

Some of the celebrities in the magazine included Reese Withoutaspoon, Beytwice, Willem Dafriend and Clint Westwood. The Pun-Master General often heard people say that these celebrities were "hot", and now he knows why they all need fans. Such was the strength of their fans that they were often blown away.

9. TELEVISION The Pun-Master General was an amateur sleuth and he enjoyed watching the crime round-up programmes on television. Only last week, he heard that a thief who stole a calendar got what?

Answer: Twelve months

The audacity of some criminals shocked the Pun-Master General, and it was only on television that he heard that they stole a thousand dogs from a kennel last Sunday. The police say they have no leads. The following day, a three year old was resisting a rest at a school nursery. The good news is that a man caught drinking battery acid will be charged.

10. PEOPLE Arnold Schwarzenegger is the muscle man actor who also became a politician. The Pun-Master General strongly believes that Arnie is a lover of classical music as he is known for saying what?

Answer: I'll be Bach

Surprising as it seems, the Pun-Master General is convinced that Arnie loves Johann Sebastian Bach out of all the classical composers. He even saw him eating Bachwurst, Bach Choi and Bachlava at a restaurant. I wonder whether the muscle man ever auditioned for "Bach to the Future" and "The Empire Strikes Bach"?

11. MOVIES After watching the 2001 film starring George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg about the sinking of the Andrea Gail, the Pun-Master General rang the film studios to see whether they would make a feline version? Which film would make a good title?

Answer: The Purrfect Storm

They weren't kitten when the film studio told the Pun-Master General that an animal version of the film would lead to a catalogue of catastrophic catastrophes, even if they used a catamaran. There was also a question about budget. There was some money in the kitty but the studios were feline the pinch.

12. MUSIC The Pun-Master General had just finished typing the agenda for his next meeting and could hear music coming from his printer. What was the problem?

Answer: The printer was jammin' again

The Pun-Master General was not a very good musician. He once took drumming lessons but his teacher told him to beat it. This affected him so much that he rocked himself to sleep crying. Instead, he took free guitar lessons and was told not to fret as the lessons had no strings attached.

13. RELIGION The Pun-Master General attended a church service last Sunday and the preacher was describing the time when Jesus asked for a volunteer to steer an ark full of animals. What answer did one of the disciples give?

Answer: I Noah guy

Noah needed light to see where to land his ark so he used a floodlight. When they reached land, Noah and his wife had a race to each build a church but it turned into a steeple chase. Noah's wife stopped building her church to help Noah finish his, but he was unsure about the design so he set about to altar it. Once completed, a hawk sat atop the church as it was a bird of pray.

14. VIDEO GAMES Back in France again, the Pun-Master General is looking for a gift for his teenage nephew. Do they sell Nintendo in France?

Answer: Wii

Wii (oui), they sell Nintendo in France. The Pun-Master General wanted to buy another video game as the other was stolen and his nephew could not be consoled. It won't be a flight simulator game as the Windows froze on the last one. No pun Nintendo!

15. BRAIN TEASERS Reading his daily newspaper, the Pun-Master General was frustrated by a cryptic puzzle clue on the back page. He was starting to shout what?

Answer: Cross words

Yes, the Pun-Master General was starting to shout cross words at his baffling crossword clue. Instead, an attempt was made to concentrate on his 1000 piece puzzle but he often went to pieces with this game. He eventually chose to play a word search game, and he couldn't find the words to express his enjoyment.

16. ENTERTAINMENT The Pun-Master General decided a visit to the circus was in order. Once seated at the ringside, he found what with the heat?

Answer: In tents

The Pun-Master General didn't enjoy the tight-rope walker display as it went over his head. He did laugh at the mad magician who was pulling his hare out, and the dog that pulled faces after licking the clown because he tasted funny. The poor elephants had to work for peanuts. Afterwards, he went outside to the fairground but he couldn't see the attraction.

17. FOR CHILDREN The Pun-Master General often babysat for his young god-children as he liked to recount the tale of Humpty Dumpty. He explained to the children that poor old Humpty had a terrible summer because it rained all the time, but he had a great what instead?

Answer: Fall

The Pun-Master General continued telling the nursery rhyme to his godchildren. "Last Fryday, Humpty tried to climb on top of the wall and he went over easy before scrambling across the other side. A poacher who was passing by saw the sunny side and cracked up, apologising afterwards as it was no yolk".

18. LITERATURE Once a month, the Pun-Master General would attend a quiz night along with his team, "The Bookworms". As suggested by their team name, they were all knowledgeable about literature. They were also keen gardeners but their books didn't have much what?

Answer: Plot

The Pun-Master General had read all the books written by authors belonging to his quiz team. These included "Vegetable Growing" by Are T Choke, "Flower Arranging" by Flo Wrist, "Outdoor Barbeques" by Alf Resco and "Grass Cutting for Beginners" by Moe D Lawn. Theresa Green was having creativity problems writing her first novel, "The Orchard".

19. SCIENCE/TECHNOLOGY Nearly at the end of this quiz and the Pun-Master General was laughing so much at the punny puns that he fell on his funny bone. His friend made no bones about it and thought it was what?

Answer: Humerus

The Pun-Master General could feel it in his bones that all these puns were rib-tickling. He took many stapes to check out his immediate radius to make the puns as thigh slapping as possible and took all your groans from the groan-o-meter on the chin.

20. ANIMALS The Pun-Master General went on a safari trip to Africa in his youth and saw many animals. He happened to spot an animal with horns that was blinded in one eye due to a fight with a predatory lion. What sort of animal was it?

Answer: No idea

What an adventure that was! The Pun-Master General saw a lot of lions during his safari, even one of them had pride with his appearance because he was wearing a hat. He was a proper dandy lion! There was much concern about the injured deer with one eye, and so the Pun-Master General contacted the local park ranger by telephone but the lion was busy. He eventually got through to them but the expense of treating the animal was much too deer. Oh deer!

Source: Author Plodd

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor LadyCaitriona before going online.
Any errors found in FunTrivia content are routinely corrected through our feedback system.

By Order of the Pun-Master General Quiz

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