Glad to be Grey - A Discworld Auditors Quiz

Answer: He got a lifetimer with the sands of time flowing

Everyone on Discworld (except Death, until now) has a lifetimer with their name on. The sands of time flow through them until they run out, when the person dies. Death tries turning his upside down when he discovers it, but the sands just flow upwards.

The Auditors were annoyed because Death had developed a personality - they don't like personality, finding it inefficient. Because Death has always done his duty as he saw fit, the Auditors let him keep the horse.

Answer: Allowing Death of Rats to live

He was also accused of 'Morticide' (which was not killing Mort, his one-time apprentice)! I particularly like the offence of 'Living with intent to survive' - obviously a heinous one in the eyes of the Auditors!

Answer: Brought to an end

Lord Downey thought that this was an odd way to put it, but for three million dollars in gold for doing the job, he doesn't worry about terminology too much!

Answer: Yes

Death explains to Susan that the boar is really the Hogfather and that 'THESE ARE NOT REAL DOGS. IF THEY CATCH HIM HE WON'T JUST DIE, HE WILL...NEVER BE...'

Answer: Have you been naughty or nice?

Death has had to stand in for the Hogfather while he was out of action, and it seems to have rubbed off on him. As Death himself says to the Auditors 'IT GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN, LIFE'. Of course, that's what really gets up the Auditors' noses!

Answer: An enormous and expensive white fur coat

With her pale face and long black hair, Jeremy wondered whether she was a zombie. As an Auditor, you would expect her to be in grey, but she was trying to fit in with the citizens of Ankh-Morpork (which gave her a lot of leeway)!

Answer: Grim Fairy Tales

Lady LeJean wants Jeremy to build a glass clock for her. The slight problem is that when it starts, it will stop time. It happened once before (yes, the Auditors!) and has been preserved in a children's book as a legend.

Answer: Her feet don't touch the ground

As Igors are composed of spare parts, it's highly unlikely odd parts of the body would raise an Igor's eyebrow. Lady LeJean, as befits an Auditor, has grey eyes. Besides not standing on the ground all the time ('You can jutht thee the thadow under her thoeth'), what gives Igor the willies (and Igor was not normally a man 'subject to the slightest willy') was that 'she didn't smell like anything. In Igor's experience everything smelled like something'.

Answer: Mr Red

When they meet Jeremy, Lady LeJean introduces the Auditors as Mr Black, Mr Green, Miss Brown, Miss White, Miss Yellow and Mr Blue. The senior decides he doesn't want to be Mr Green, and that black is a more significant shade. Miss White then says that white is higher status than black, which is merely an absence of colour, so the Chief Auditor becomes and remains Mr White.

They've only just taken on human form and are already they've begun acting more like humans than Auditors. As Lady LeJean puts it 'Once you have a body, you have a 'me'.

Answer: Organs

As has been noted, the Auditors loathe things like feelings and discord and confusion. This is the word she uses to describe her feelings of Yuerkkk, which her body seems to have the sensation of. I hope you've enjoyed the quiz about the Auditors - they would hate it!