'Disc'over Terry Pratchett's Witches Quiz

Answer: Eskarina Smith

Drum Billet, the dying wizard, passed his staff on to the 'eighth son' of the eighth son Gordo Smith. Unfortunately he forgot to check the baby's sex first. If you want to read about Esk's struggles, you will need to read 'Equal Rites'. Agnes Nitt (also known as Perdita) is one of the Lancre witches, Lily is Granny Weatherwax's evil sister, and Perspicacia Tick is a 'stealth witch' from the Tiffany Aching books.

Answer: Oggham

On the day that Gordo slapped Esk, Jaims, described as the eldest son, slipped and hurt his arm. Cern and Gulta (described as the two youngest boys) went to Granny's cottage that day with Esk. Oggham is actually an ancient runic dwarf alphabet that may have something to do with the Ogg family.

Answer: Hilta Goatfounder

Were it not for Hilta Goatfounder's wares, the town of Ohulan Cutash would be a lot larger. According to her description she wears so many bangles that when she moves it 'sounds like a percussion section falling off a cliff.' Erzulie Gogil is a voodoo woman from 'Witches Abroad' and Aminta DeVice is a witch in Diamanda's coven in 'Lords and Ladies'. Diamanda's real name is Lucy Tockley.

Answer: Goodie Whemper

Goodie Whemper was a research witch and, unlike Granny Weatherwax, read a lot of books, which Magrat does as well. Goodie's name is always followed by 'May she rest in peace'. Black Alliss (so called because of her fingernails and teeth) lived in a gingerbread cottage, and was eventually put in her own oven by a couple of kids. Desiderata Hollow was a friend of Magrat's, but did not train her in her own speciality, which was fairy godmothering. Gammer Brevis was a witch from the other side of the mountain to Lancre, who had 'a nasty habit of being reasonable when provoked'.

Answer: Wisdom

Magrat first suggested wisdom, but Granny said he'd have to learn for himself. Nanny's first suggestion for a gift would have made Tomjon very popular with the ladies, but Granny pointed out that 'something a bit less physical is generally the style of things'. Magrat's gift was that he'd make friends easily - something, sadly, that Magrat had never been able to get the hang of. Nanny, who was trying to remember the words to the 'Hedgehog Song' gave him 'a bloody good memory' so he'd 'always remember the words' and Granny gave him 'Let him be whoever he thinks he is', as she reckoned 'That's all anybody could hope for'.

Answer: A tortoyse

The idea of a witch's familiar seems to have come from Leviticus 'regard not them that have familiar spirits' and they are generally cats (though not like Greebo!). We learn that Magrat has had fifteen different ones that year, 'not counting the horse', but they kept biting, or getting trodden on 'or, in extreme cases', metamorphosing. Nanny thought the tortoyse (sic) was a rock, which Granny commented would at least last, but Magrat said that it knew many secrets. Magrat decided to call it 'Lightfoot'.

Answer: Toad

It was one of Goodie Whemper's (May she rest in peace) spells and she was against 'all unnecessary cruelty', so the toad was replaced by 'Whole grain wheat and lentils too, In the cauldron seethe and stew'. Among the rest of the ingredients were 'Baboon hair and mandrake root, Carrot juice and tongue of boot'. Granny thought that the baboon hair looked more like cat, and she thought the mandrake didn't look real.

But the spell got done.

Answer: Goodie Ammeline Hamstring

When Granny Hopliss in Creel Springs had passed on, they'd had to get in a wizard from Ankh-Morpork. Mrs Singe had also passed on, and Gammer Peavey had gone climbing mountains at the age of one hundred and nineteen. Goodie Hamstring was a witch who was part of Mort's duty in 'Mort'.

Answer: pumpkin

In fact, Magrat has great difficulty getting it to do anything but pumpkins, even though Desiderata's handwritten note assures Magrat she 'wil gett the hange of it in noe time'.

Answer: Alligator sandwich = Make it snappy

Nanny took to travelling and foreign languages like a duck to water. Much of her knowledge came from her grandson Shane, a sailor (which explains her request for accommodation - "Hey mister, jigajig toot sweet all same No.3"). Granny was the one trying to tell the 'Get me an alligator sandwich and make it snappy' joke, but she couldn't get the punchline right. 'Get me an alligator sandwich - and I want it right away' doesn't cut it. Thanks to darksplash for suggesting the title for the quiz. As fans will know, Terry Pratchett has been diagnosed with a very rare form of early onset Alzheimer's.

This quiz is dedicated to him, and if anyone doing it is a very high-end expert in brain chemistry, get in touch with him.