Kicking the Hobbit Trivia Quiz

Answer: Gandalf

It was Gandalf. Bilbo was not interested in the possibility of adventure and was quite rude to Gandalf when he first appeared in the Shire. In return Gandalf gave him a verbal "kick in the pants" and signed him up for an adventure. "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." (J.R.R. Tolkien, 'The Fellowship of the Ring') -- It was a subtle kick.

Answer: Three trolls

Bilbo was supposed to steal up to the fire that he and the dwarves saw and figure out what was there. When he saw three trolls, he should have gone to warn his friends. Instead he tried to steal a troll's purse, got caught and in the end, Gandalf had to rescue all of them.

The dwarves were suffocated and bruised. They also may have felt like giving Bilbo a quick kick in the pants. The trolls were turned to stone and couldn't have kicked the hobbit.

Answer: The goblins

In the Misty Mountains, the dwarves and Bilbo were captured by goblins. Bilbo woke up and yelled just in time to keep Gandalf from being captured. Because of this Gandalf was able to kill the king of the goblins and rescue the dwarves and Bilbo. It was their bad luck to have captured Bilbo. . .

Answer: Gollum

Bilbo got lost after the goblins attacked the expedition from the rear as they were escaping. He found a magic ring and then proceeded to win a riddle game with Gollum, a nasty slimy creature who he ran across in the dark. The ring had belonged to Gollum, but Bilbo kept it and used it to escape both Gollum and the goblins. Bilbo can be excused as it was the One Ring of Sauron and was using Bilbo to try and get back to Sauron.

Answer: Rather large spiders (Attercops)

As is said in the book: "No spider likes to be called 'Attercop'.", (although all it means is poison spider). I suspect that if someone invaded your living area and called you names, you might feel the way the spiders did. . .

Answer: The Elvenking of Mirkwood

Aided by his magic ring, Bilbo stole food from the Elvenking and rescued the dwarves. Had the Elvenking managed to catch Bilbo, kicking is probably the least he would have done. However, he actually was one of the good guys, so he probably would have only imprisoned Bilbo with the dwarves.

Answer: Dori

While Balin and Bombur were kind to Bilbo, Dori was the one who was most often placed in danger of his life because of Bilbo - and Bilbo didn't seem to thank him or even be very grateful. In addition to being the main person who carried Bilbo when escaping from the goblins (who knocked him down and kicked him), Dori also helped Bilbo into a pine tree when the wargs were attacking (almost getting caught by the wargs himself). Bilbo grabbed his legs when the eagles rescued them. Luckily Dori was not the kicking type or Bilbo might not have made it to the eagle's eyrie.

Answer: The old thrush

Even though the thrush had helped the expedition to place the key in the door (by knocking on a rock), and Bilbo knew it was harmless, Bilbo threw a stone at the bird. Luckily the bird ignored this and later went and found one of the ancient ravens for them. But if birds could kick. . .

Answer: Smaug, the dragon

Bilbo steals a golden cup to prove to the dwarves that he is really a burglar (Does this remind you of anything (see question 2)?)and boy is Smaug mad! He flies around the mountain smashing and burning things. Eventually, he flies to Esgaroth (Lake-town) to burn it down. Kicking is not really the way that Smaug expresses anger, but maybe if he were smaller, he would kick the hobbit.

Answer: Thorin Oakenshield

To give him credit, in this case Bilbo means well (rather than just getting lucky). He steals the Arkenstone, the heart of the mountain and later takes it to the armies that are besieging Thorin. He claims it as his part of the treasure and gives it away to stop the coming war between the dwarves and the elves and lake people. Thorin, blinded by his lust for treasure, however, almost throws Bilbo off the wall when he learns this.