No Touchy, Noooo Touchy, No Touch! Quiz

Answer: great personality

Yes, cruelty is Kuzco's province. This scene is well before he gains any sense of humility. It seems to me that "she/he has a great personality" is one of the general public's catchphrases meaning "she/he is probably ugly," but I've never noticed this to truly be the case.

Another way of putting it is, ugly people are just as prone to meanness as good-looking people - as Kuzco would probably say. No doubt he'd also add, "Good thing I'm good-looking. Hate to be ugly AND mean."

Answer: food

Good thing Yzma has such concern for the less-fortunate. "The Emperor's New Groove" seems to have an upper-class element even more impressively vile than the real world.

Answer: "File for arbitration, it's all the rage these days."

Ahhh, arbitration. Another farce that professional sports has contributed to our already farcical and materialistic society. Kudos to Kuzco for not mentioning this particular way of saying "I want $5 million a year, you only want to pay me $4 million, so I'm taking it to an outside mediator." Someone should realize just how ridiculous it is to disagree with being paid $4 million a year to play sports in the first place.

Answer: . . . a little to the left . . . have any idea of who he's dealing with?

I guess it might be a good anger-vent to have an unlimited number of smashable heads that look just like a person you despise. I could use some of those. If more people had ready access to similar items there might be a lot less violence in the world.

Answer: "The real Kuzco?"

Kronk is so lovably clueless. Kind of reminiscent of Forrest Gump . . . in a completely different way . . . okay so that's a bad comparison, sue me.

Answer: it's gonna be delicious

Kronk's specialty, of course, are those wonderful spinach puffs. He seems to be quite a culinary whiz for a guy who probably has difficulty spelling his own name.

Answer: an ugly, stinky llama!

A South American ruminant is a description of what a llama is. An Australopithecus is a bipedal primate with a relatively small brain (still much larger than most animals) which existed from about 1 to 4 million years ago (www.hyperdictionary.com).

Answer: Tiny

Kuzco's grasp of sarcasm never wavers, even in his darkest hour. A Slim Jim is a snack-type creation you can buy at a convenience store, if you dare. I'm personally wary of anything that would still be fresh in a post-apocalyptic environment thirty years from now.

Answer: scary tree

Latrodectus Mactans is the scientific name for the Black Widow spider. If Kuzco really saw one of those he'd certainly have reason to be afraid. I saw one when I was a child and I don't think I've been the same since.

Answer: before I was a llama

This is right near the beginning when Kuzco's narrating the story along. His llama self looks so miserable that you can't help feeling sorry for him, until at his suggestion you look back before he was a llama and realize he pretty much deserves what he gets. Kids, let this be a lesson to you - "Never be a really rich, conceited emperor or you'll be turned into a llama." I love stories with a good moral. Adios!