All Roads Lead to Nowhere - Splatter Platters Quiz

Answer: killed in a fiery stock car race

Tommy was the youngest driver in the race for a $1000 prize. Alas, the poor boy rolled his car; the mandatory explosion was followed by his titular dying words: "Tell Laura I Love Her."

The early draft of Ray Peterson's 1960 tune was set in a rodeo, but was rewritten to resemble (and possibly ride on the successful coattails of?) "Teen Angel." Peterson's rendition of Tommy & Laura's sad song hit the Number Seven spot on Billboard's Top 100. Because it was deemed "...tasteless and vulgar," Decca Records decided to not release it in England; some 20,000 pre-pressed platters were destroyed. Ironically, Welsh singer Ricky Valence's (don't confuse him with Ritchie Valens of "La Bamba" fame) cover later that same year reached the Number One UK singles spot.

Ray Peterson met with some success with "Goodnight My Love" and "The Wonder of You." He succumbed to cancer in 2005, in Smyrna, Tennessee.

For those of you who read the II after each question, here's a hint - the biggest single cause of death for American teens (20-30% of ALL fatalities) are motor vehicle accidents. When in doubt...

Answer: shot from his horse when returning to El Paso

"El Paso" shows our cowboy protagonist instantly falling in love with Feleena - a young Mexican dancer in a West Texas bar. He shoots another cowpoke in a perfectly fair (albeit stupid) gunfight over the "maiden." So why does he run? If he HAS to run, why doesn't he RIDE - on his own mount? His BIG mistake is stealing a horse to make an escape. Yes, horse thieves in the "Wild West" were certainly hung by mobs or vigilante groups, but there is NO RECORD of such hangings as the result of a duly constituted US/state court of law. In any case, it's all moot, since he ends up being shot by mounted riders upon his return.

Marty Robbins' "El Paso" was cut in 1959 and hit Number One on both Pop and Country charts in early 1960. The Grateful Dead performed "El Paso" some 389 times during their long run. The song is generally recognized as Robbins' top hit and was followed by two sequel tunes: "Feleena (From El Paso)" and "El Paso City." The final episode of the hit TV series "Breaking Bad" was titled "Felina." The altered spelling of "Feleena" is an anagram for "Finale." You can read more about the deep symbolism of Fe-Li-Na on line.

Marty Robbins was 57 when he died in Nashville Tennessee in 1982. Oh... horse theft remains a problem today; some 40,000 steeds are stolen annually!

Answer: spun out in a tight curve

William Jan Berry and Dean Ormsby Torrance (better known as "Jan and Dean") cut the 60s classic "Dead Man's Curve." The song describes a race between a Jaguar XKE and Corvette Sting Ray. The precise location of the crash is unclear, but general consensus points to Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood. Our lucky survivor apparently suffered from selective amnesia: "...last thing I remember, Doc...I saw the Jag slide into the curve. I know I'll never forget (irony?) that horrible sight." We must assume the Jag driver earned the big dirt nap.

Versions of the song released in 63, 64, and 66 offered slight variations in lyrics, sound effects, etc. One source indicates the song reached Number Eight on the Billboard Top 100.

Numerous actual "Dead Man's Curves" do exist. Some US locations are: Marquette County Michigan's road #492; Colorado's I-70 eastbound near Exit 259; and US Route 66 near Mesita, New Mexico. Need more DMC? A low budget movie, "Dead Man's Curve" was released in 1998. Truth really is as strange as fiction - in 1966 Jan Berry (of Jan & Dean) really WAS involved in a near-fatal car wreck when he slammed his Sting Ray into a parked truck. The accident scene was near the fabled "Dead Man's Curve."

Jan Berry died in 2004, a few day from his 63rd birthday.

Answer: killed in a motorcycle crash

"Leader of the Pack" was done by the all girl group the Shangri-Las, who took this tragedy tune to the Number One spot in November 1964. The same trio also had another big hit that year with "Remember."

Betty's blossoming love for the ne'er-do-well biker is abruptly squashed by her dad; Jimmy comes from "the wrong side of town." We think this ends up badly, with Jimmy being squashed in a highway accident. Betty says he "drove" (NOT "rode") away on a rain slick highway. She yells "Look out!" at least three times. We must assume that "Jimmy" actually died in a motorcycle crash. He might have been on a bicycle for all we know. We're not even sure if he really died; she only says he's "gone." How tough could the guy really be? After all - she met him in the candy store, for gosh sake.

Three "C's" may have been involved in cutting this tune: champagne, cigars, and crayons. A young Billy Joel MIGHT have played piano in the final version. Like most other hit songs, "Leader" was covered by numerous other artists - notably Aerosmith in 1980.

By 1968 the Shangri-Las were fragmented and ultimately disbanded.

Answer: she died in a plane crash

While waiting for his beautiful "Ebony Eyes," our young GI - and others looking for Flight 1203 - are paged to the chapel. You can imagine the rest. This song was released about 23 months after the air crash that took Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J. P. Richardson. It stirred many poignant memories. One source stated that the Everlys rarely performed this song at live shows, as they frequently had to fly to other locales afterward.

"Ebony Eyes" was released in 1961 after the Everly Brothers moved from Cadence Records to the Warner label. The B-side "Walk Right Back" was a big hit in its own right, pegging the Number Seven spot on Billboard. In a by now familiar pattern, the song was originally banned from BBC play ("too upsetting"). When it finally was released, "Ebony Eyes" scored big, climbing to the Number One UK singles spot. Perry Como, Andy Williams, and Anne Murray are among the artists covering "Ebony Eyes." But don't confuse this version with different "same-named" tunes by Bob Welch (1978) and Rick James (1983).

Phil Everly died in Burbank California in 2014. He was 74 years old.

Answer: one last kiss, then she died

Poor baby - lying there in the rain, she asks him to hold her, they share one "Last Kiss," then..POOF! She's gone. He promises to be good so he can see her again in heaven. It all sounds so tragically romantic, but the fool was inattentive, probably speeding. You just know there will be a lawsuit in his future; maybe even a manslaughter conviction.

The history of "Last Kiss" follows a convoluted path; one seemingly more twisted than the road on which the crash occurred. Allegedly based on a 1962 motor vehicle accident in Barnesville Georgia, the song was actually written in 1961 (yes - a year earlier!) by Wayne Cochran and three friends. When record labels were printed, the only name credited was Cochran. Four version of the tune - each on a different label - were released from 1961 to 1963; none scored big.

Enter J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers. Their September 1964 release of the song hit Number two on Billboard's Top 100 and ranked Number Nine for the year. It is the "gold standard" for this tune; accept no imitations! The group had limited success with "Hey Little One." J. Frank Wilson died at the age of 49 in 1991.

Answer: both drowned in river

Compromise is usually a good tactic, but in Johnny Preston's 1959 original release of "Running Bear," the idea was all wet: "As their hands touched and their lips met, the raging river pulled them down..."

The song was written by Jiles Perry Richardson (aka "The Big Bopper") and held the Number One spot for three weeks on the Billboard Hot 100. Richardson and George "The Possum" Jones (of country music fame) provided the "ooga chokka" background chant. Numerous covers have been done by such diverse artists as the Guess Who, Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys, and the Youngbloods. There were even "Runnin Bare" parody versions by Sheb Wooley and Jim Nesbitt.

Johnny Preston was 71 when he died in Beaumont Texas in 2011. He is inductee #0118 in the Rockabilly Hall of Fame.

Answer: she was splattered by a train

These darn stalled cars will be the death of us all! "Teen Angel" was written by Jean Dinning (keep that name in mind) and her husband. It was sung by Jean's brother, Max Edward "Mark" Dinning, and was released in December of 1959 on the MGM label. This is a splatter platter of the First order! Many feel it is the iconic teen tragedy disc.

"Teen Angel" initially received very little airplay; many U.S. radio stations banned the tune because it was "too sad." This, despite the fact that it followed the same sad, bloody, muddy, soggy footsteps of three earlier adolescent despair hits: "Endless Sleep", "Running Bear," and "El Paso." And - yes, in case you're wondering - it was also banned in the United Kingdom. Despite the prohibition and limited air play, the song gradually climbed Billboard's Top 100 chart, starting in the cellar at number 100. It topped the chart at Number One in February 1960.

What made this tune such an unforgettable heartbreaker? Maybe the fact that he pulled her out of the car... She was safe! But for some illogical reason she HAD to go back and get that $40.00 ring! Mark tells us: "They said they found my high school ring clutched in your fingers tight." I hope he didn't give it to another girl later in the school year!

The song was done by Sha Na Na at Woodstock in 1969, and is also featured on the soundtrack of the 1973 hit movie "American Graffiti." In 1989 Disney Channel offered us a young Jason Priestley in a month-long series of the same name. An unrelated but slightly more successful (17 episodes) 1997 TV series used the same title.

This was Mark Dinning's only significant hit. He died in 1986 at the age of 52.

Answer: she cheated on him - drowned herself in guilt

Lovers often talk about "taking the plunge" into marriage"; this gal dropped it to a whole new level - namely underwater in "Moody River"! The song was written by Gary D. Bruce (aka Chase Webster) and released on the Dot label in May 1961. A month later it topped Billboard's list at the Number One spot.

Pat Boone's unnamed "baby" must have been VERY naughty. She left a note that read: "Dear love, I've done you wrong - Now I must set you free - No longer can I live with this hurt and this sin..." An insinuation bordering on the lewd, in those days. She also left a glove. Why? Maybe to keep the note from blowing away? What happened to the other glove? She was TRULY a sinner - no self-respecting woman in 1961 would leap into a river wearing only one glove.

"Moody River" has been done by several performers, including Frank Sinatra, Johnny Burnette, and John Fogerty.

In researching this question I discovered that Pat Boone takes a "beating" from several online reviewers. It's one thing to criticize an artist's work; everyone has an opinion. But in the same articles, Boone is also raked over the coals for his conservative political views. To me that seems like a cheap shot. As of August 2019, Pat Boone remains active; entertaining and making public appearances. More information can be found on his web page.

Answer: he saved his baby from an endless sleep

When Jody Reynolds (born Ralph Joseph Reynolds) penned the original version of "Endless Sleep.", he included a grim finale - the girl drowned in the ocean. In 1958, topics such as suicide and teen death were NOT commonly discussed. No surprise then, that record companies ignored the song. Luckily, Demon Records persuaded Reynolds to do a rewrite and SAVE the girl. For some reason, Demon also included the fictitious "Delores Nance" as a co-songwriter.

The effort paid off. "Endless Sleep." was released in March of 1958 and sold over one million copies. This haunting tune has been covered by the Judds, Hank Williams, and the Beach Boys.

Jody Reynolds was essentially a one hit rockabilly wonder with "Endless Sleep." His only other noteworthy song was "Fire and Love" which reached a meager Number 66 spot in August 1958. Somehow, Reynolds was deemed worthy of enrollment into the Rockabilly Hall of Fame. I never heard of the place, but it seems to be easy to be admitted. Ralph "Jody" Reynolds died in 2008, aged 75 years.

Congratulations! You've arrived at the last stop on our crashed car/deadly river/plunging airplane/careening train journey through teenage melancholia. How did it all begin? Some sources credit The Cheers' 1955 "Black Denim Trousers and Motorcycle Boots" as the prototypical "death disk." It triggered a spate of songs with various fatal finales. You've read about a few of those songs in this quiz. In an interesting juxtaposition, "Endless Sleep" - the earliest release (1958) of the ten songs featured herein, is the final question. This way, we can end on an upbeat note.