Lobachevsky Trivia Quiz

Answer: Nikolai

Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky, whose name Lehrer has said he chose purely for its syllable structure, and not with any intention to disparage him, was a Russian mathematician (1792-1856) who made significant contributions to the study of non-Euclidean geometry; more specifically, he dealt with hyperbolic geometry, which has been given the name Lobachevskian geometry in his honor. (If this doesn't mean much to you, just go with it as being important - it mattered in the development of the study of special relativity.)

As the singer (ostensibly a Russian mathematician) starts his song,
"Who made me the genius I am today,
The mathematician that others all quote,
Who's the professor that made me that way?
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat.

One man deserves the credit,
One man deserves the blame,
And Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name."

Answer: Plagiarism

The lyrics tell us that the secret of success lies in finding someone else who is working on the same topic, stealing his work, and publishing in a hurry to get the credit. It often seems that breakthroughs in both science and mathematics occur in multiple places at virtually the same time. While this could be (and usually is) simply an outcome of the fact that the topic is seen as being of importance to a number of different people, who therefore are working towards the same goal. This does lead to debate as to who should get the credit, but that does not mean anything underhanded was involved. Still, it is fun to contemplate, as we follow the singer in his journey.

"I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:
Plagiarize!

Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -
Only be sure always to call it please 'research'."

Answer: Topology

This had to be abbreviated to fit into the answer space, and to avoid having it be a complete giveaway due to its length and explicitness. Interestingly, it involves an application in Euclidean geometry, when his idol was known for working in the field of non-Euclidean geometry. (And it does make sense. At least, the individual parts of the stated topic are meaningful - I have never bothered to work out whether they fit together in a meaningful way.)

To quote the song,
"It was on analytic and algebraic topology of
Locally Euclidean parameterization of infinitely differentiable
Riemannian manifold.
Bozhe moi!
This I know from nothing."

Answer: Minsk

The convoluted chain of Russian cities listed as one friend contacts another who contacts the next is actually quite circuitous, as explored in another of my quizzes, 'Travels with "Lobachevsky"'. The forward route starts in Minsk, the capital of Belarus, and proceeds all around the country towards the place where another mathematician is known to be working on the same problem. The final friend is tasked with stealing the work and sending it back.

"I have a friend in Minsk,
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Whose friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk.
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
Whose friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropetrovsk."

Answer: Dnepropetrovsk

Dneproportovsk is now called Dnipro, and is located in Ukraine, very close to where the chain started. But you can't choose where your friends live - and anyway, the string of titles required a lengthy route for comedic effect. The return journey took a slightly different route, going through the region of Iliysk and the Black Sea city of Novorossiysk instead of directly from Petropavlovsk to Alexandrovsk, as chronicled in the first route. If you've ever played the game Telephone (also known in some places as Gossip or Chinese / Russian Whispers), you will probably join me in wondering how accurate the final report of the work actually was.

"And when his work is done -
Ha ha! - begins the fun.
From Dnepropetrovsk
To Petropavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk,
And Novorossiysk,
To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
To Tomsk to Omsk
To Pinsk to Minsk
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!"

Answer: Vladivostok

Moving on from the triumph of his first published paper, the singer sets to work on a book, which he claims contains absolutely no original material, and is entirely plagiarized. Sad to report, we aren't given its title, or any details of its contents.

"I am never forget the day my first book is published.
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
This book was sensational!"

Answer: Pravda

Lehrer ostensibly quotes two reviews, one from 'Pravda' and one from 'Izvestia'. Since I don't speak Russian, I have no idea what he said, and the printed lyrics I have been able to locate only insert a parenthetical reference to their existence. I can report that, according to an interview quoted on a page about this song at PhysicsSongs.org, the first version of the song, recorded in 1953, used proper Russian phrases whose pronunciation he had been taught by a friend. The first one was a line from Mussorgsky's 'The Song of the Flea', and the second one was an old Russian joke. He used different phrases in different versions.

"'Pravda' - well, 'Pravda' - 'Pravda' said: (something in Russian)
It stinks.
But 'Izvestia'! 'Izvestia' said: (something else in Russian)
It stinks."

Answer: Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva

According to the song, this fictitious movie studio with a catchy name paid six million rubles for the movie rights to his book. Of course, there will be some changes in the process of adaptation!

Answer: The Eternal Triangle

While we aren't given the original name of the singer's book, it was almost certainly less of an audience magnet than this typically schlocky Hollywood title. The mathematical reference to a triangle, even if it was there to start, has been twisted to one that promises romance and drama far beyond what one would expect for a book whose index was copied from a telephone directory.

Answer: Ingrid

The first recording in 1953 cast Ingrid Bergman in the role. Later recordings of the song have used different names, including Marilyn Monroe, Brigitte Bardot and Doris Day. The images of these four actresses suggest some quite different directorial visions for the movie!