Unusual Country Music Song Titles Quiz

Answer: Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn

Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn were one of the most successful duets in Country Music history, making 11 albums and charting five No. 1 singles between 1971 and 1988. "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly" was actually the flip side to another song called "From Seven Till Ten." Conway Twitty passed away on June 5, 1993. He was only 59 years old.

Answer: Dropkick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life

Yes, these are all real songs. "Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life / End over end, neither left nor to right / Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights / Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life." This song was written by Paul C. Craft, who also wrote "It's Me Again, Margaret," which was a hit for Ray Stevens. "Dropkick Me, Jesus" reached the No. 16 spot on the U.S. Billboard Hot Country Charts in 1976.

Answer: A Boy Named Sue

"A Boy Named Sue" was written by the late Shel Silverstein, who also wrote the hit songs "The Unicorn" and "The Cover of the Rolling Stone" among many others. Cash recorded the song live at San Quentin State Prison, and it reached No. 1 on the U.S. Billboard Hot Country Charts, and No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100.

In keeping with our salute to the Jews of Country Music, the other choices are all songs by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys.

Answer: She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)

"She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)" was Jerry Reed's third No. 1 hit on the U.S. Billboard Hot Country Charts. Although the song is about a divorce, in real life Jerry Reed was happily married for almost 50 years. He passed away in 2008 from complications due to emphysema.

Answer: I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Not Even If She Had a Chance To Win

Charlie Walker was a singer from Texas who had a number of hits from the 1950s through the 1970s. He is probably best remembered for "Pick Me Up On Your Way Down," and "Please Don't Squeeze My Sharmon." He recorded a number of novelty songs, including this one. Charlie Walker passed away on September 12, 2008 at the age of 81.

Answer: How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?

"Well he never bites the postman, he licks the milkman's hand / But every time I come around he thinks I'm the booger man." It would be harder to think of two bigger Country legends than Webb Pierce and Mel Tillis. Pierce sang such classics as "There Stands the Glass" and "In the Jailhouse Now." Mel Tillis raked up an impressive number of hits on his own, including "I Ain't Never" and "Coca-Cola Cowboy," both of which reached No. 1.

Answer: I Married Her Just Because She Looks Like You

This song is from Lovett's third album, "Lyle Lovett and His Large Band." It is a traditional Country tear-jerker of the first order. Lyle Lovett may be best known to most people for the fact that he was briefly married to the actress Julia Roberts. Although he abandoned Country Music later in his career, his early songs are still worth a listen.

Answer: I'm Gonna Hire a Wino To Decorate Our Home

"She said: I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home, / So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam, / We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall, / And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall." For some unfathomable reason, many women do not understand that any normal man naturally wants to spend most of his time in a bar drinking beer with his friends. Any rumors that the author of this quiz was the inspiration for this song are both false and malicious.

Answer: Little Jimmy Dickens

James Cecil Dickens was born in West Virginia in 1920. Only 4' 11" tall, he soon became known as Little Jimmy Dickens. He joined the Grand Old Opry in 1948, and enjoyed a successful recording career with songs like "Take an Old Cold Tater and Wait" and "Out Behind the Barn," but didn't chart his first No. 1 hit until 1965, when "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose" reached that spot and stayed there for two weeks.

It was also a crossover hit, reaching No. 15 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Answer: Daddy's Drinkin' Up Our Christmas

Steve Goodman claimed he had written the perfect Country-Western song with "You Never Even Called Me By My Name." I don't know about that, but I would nominate "Daddy's Drinkin' Up Our Christmas" as one of the best song titles ever. Despite having the same title, the same theme, and being released in the same year, the Smiley Bates and Commander Cody songs are entirely different.

The other choices are all found on Alan Jackson's album, "Honky Tonk Christmas."