Royal Rogues Attempt to Defend themselves Quiz

Answer: King Stephen

Stephen of Blois took an oath that he would support his cousin Maude (also known as Matilda) as Queen of England when her father, Henry I died. Instead, when he heard of his uncle's death he went straight to London where he seized power, being crowned King in December 1135.

Maude, and her husband, Geoffrey of Anjou were not happy about this, and thus began a prolonged civil war where first one side had the advantage, and then the other, but only brought misery to the people of England. It was said during this period that "Christ and his Saints slept." Eventually Maude's eldest son, Henry, took up the fight, and after Stephen's heir Eustace died, he agreed to make Henry his successor.

Stephen was said to be an affable sort, who possessed the common touch, a good sense of humour, was appropriately pious for this time, and an excellent general. If he had inherited the crown legitimately, and avoided a civil war, he might have been remembered more fondly by history.

Answer: Catherine the Great

Catherine the Great was the German wife of Peter III of Russia. His six month reign came to an abrupt end when aristocrats, outraged by his favouring Prussia over the country he was supposed to rule, rebelled and put Catherine on the throne in his place. He was quietly killed, although Catherine insisted she had nothing to do with it.

Catherine was determined to bring her adopted country into the 18th century, while also expanding her borders. She was tireless in her pursuit of knowledge, culture, the arts, and any territory she could get from neighbouring countries.

An extremely energetic and fit woman, Catherine loved physical exercise, particularly anything to do with horse riding; and then there was her other favourite activity. Catherine had many handsome young lovers, and she elevated them to high positions in the government, granted them land, titles, and thousands of serfs. When she tired of one lover, she simply chose another, and it got rather embarrassing for her family as she aged - her last paramour was 40 years younger than she was.

Of course these activities gave rise to many outrageous stories about Catherine, but the legend of how she combined her love of horses with her fondness for her other favourite pastime was absolutely false.

In short, Catherine had her faults, but she did leave Russia in a better state than when she found it.

Answer: King John

King John was the youngest child of Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine, and the brother of Richard the Lionhearted. This entire family was ridiculously ambitious, and constantly plotted against one another, so it's probably not surprising that John did as well. He was always compared unfavourably to his brothers, but particularly with Richard.

John's feuds were with his family (he probably did arrange to have his nephew killed), the French, the Church and the barons, not the people of England. He was an able administrator, and took a personal interest in the application of the law. On the other hand, he was unpredictable, could be aggressive, and he did lose much of his inheritance in France. In many ways John was in an an impossible situation - Richard had bled the country dry in order to finance his wars in the Holy Land, and then Eleanor of Aquitaine taxed them further to ransom the silly man. It took years for the country to recover from Richard's self-indulgence. Not only that, but during Richard's prolonged absence, many of the barons had done whatever they pleased without regard to legalities. As for John's opposition to the Magna Carta, no king of his time would have accepted those terms, and the Pope (who was no friend to John) was horrified enough by the whole thing to grant an annulment.

In short, John was not what anyone would call a good king, or even a good man, but when compared with other kings of his time, he does not come off much worse. I do not believe he fully deserved the reputation he has, any more than his brother Richard deserved his golden one.

Answer: Margaret of Anjou

Margaret of Anjou was the wife of Henry VI of England. Her family had a great deal of royal blood and titles, but very little money. When it came time for her to marry, it was said that Henry bought his bride, because she brought virtually no dowry.

Henry was a rather simple man, and a terrible king because he was so easily manipulated. He also held grudges, and would spitefully refuse to cooperate with those who tried to help him get the governance of the country back on track. Then he had an episode of 'madness' that lasted 18 months.

Margaret was already six months pregnant with their son Edward when Henry became ill, so he certainly knew she was going to have a baby. However, after she gave birth, he showed no sign of recognizing either of them. Margaret's enemies insisted it was because Edward was not Henry's son at all, but that was absurd. Henry eventually recovered his senses, but was forced to make the Duke of York his heir, rather than his son by Margaret. Margaret was incensed, and fought back with every weapon at her disposal, with some success.

Unfortunately, it was not to be. After years of fighting, alternating between the Lancastrians and the Yorkists on the throne, Prince Edward was captured and killed at the Battle of Tewkesbury, and Henry VI was murdered in the Tower of London a few days later. Margaret was captured, but the news of her husband and son's deaths finally broke this incredible woman. She was eventually ransomed by Louis XI of France, and allowed to live as a poor relation at the castle of Dampierre-sur-Loire, dying at the age of 52.

Answer: Edward the Confessor

Edward the Confessor was the son of Athelred II and his second wife, Emma of Normandy. He was born into a country that was under attack by the Vikings, and was of little importance at the time of his birth. His mother, Emma, appeared to actively dislike this child. At various times in his life, Edward and his siblings were sent to Normandy for their safety, where they were under the protection of his mother's relatives. It must have been a great shock to learn that his widowed mother had married Canute, his father's great enemy, and was again crowned Queen of England. At this point, Edward was again in Normandy, and remained in exile for 25 years.

After Canute's death, there was a succession dispute between all the various claimants to the throne. It was during this time that Edward's only full brother, Alfred was killed, and their mother may have been indirectly responsible. The throne was seized by two successive sons of Canute, and seven years later, Edward himself was crowned King, despite Emma's attempt to give the throne to Magnus, King of Normandy. Edward eventually seized the treasury at Winchester from his mother, as well as all of her estates, effectively forcing her into retirement.

As King, Edward was under the control of Godwine, the Earl of Wessex, whose daughter he was forced to marry. Possibly resentful that he could only be King in name, Edward gradually surrounded himself with Normans and other foreigners, to whom he granted high positions in his government. This caused the Godwine family to revolt, and in turn Edward banished them. They fought back, and the Godwines had just got control back again, when Earl Godwine suddenly died, like so many of Edward's enemies.

The great warrior Harold Goodwinson was now head of the family, and went to work quelling rebellions against the crown. Harold was present when the ineffective Edward died early in 1066. According to Harold, Edward named him his successor. However, William of Normandy claimed the same thing, and we all know how that turned out.

The story of Edward's piety became legendary, but the fact was Edward did not enjoy a good reputation in his lifetime. He was known to be somewhat lazy, stubborn, nepotistic, and vengeful; and although he did build Westminster Abbey, there is no evidence he was any more religious than his contemporaries. The fact was, there was little else he could do to occupy his time, as he was not really allowed to rule his own kingdom.

Edward the Confessor was at best a mediocre King, with very good press.

Answer: Mary, Queen of Scots

Mary Stuart was an amazingly incompetent ruler. Somehow considered a romantic figure by some people, she made a series of bad choices that led to her being deposed and, much later, executed. Returning to Scotland as the teenaged widow of the French King, she was foolish enough to marry her ne'er do well cousin, Lord Darnley. While this was going on, John Knox was going out of his way to undermine her with fiery sermons against female rulers.

Mary and Darnley did have a son together, but his flagrant affairs, jealously, abusive behaviour, and the murder by Darnley of one of Mary's favourite musicians destroyed their relationship. One night, while being treated for venereal disease, Darnley's house blew up. He was found dead in the garden, apparently strangled. Suspicion immediately fell on Mary, but she denied any involvement. A few months later, Mary and the chief suspect in Lord Darnley's murder, Lord Bothwell, married. Scottish nobles rebelled, Mary was forced to abdicate in favour of her son, and imprisoned. Bothwell was forced into exile.

Mary managed to escape her Scottish prison, and fled to England, where she was again put in prison - for 18 years. She became involved in several plots against her cousin, Elizabeth I, and was eventually caught. She was executed at Fotheringhay Castle on February 8, 1587. She was 44 years old.

Answer: Ferdinand of Aragon

Ferdinand was married to Isabella of Castile, and they were a terrifying couple. Ferdinand was ambitious and greedy, while Isabella was a religious fanatic. This led them to expel the Moors from Spain, forcibly convert thousands of Jews, and bring in the Inquisition - all while enriching themselves and earning the dubious admiration of the Pope. After Ferdinand and Isabella sponsored Christopher Columbus, Pope Alexander VI effectively split the world between Portugal and Spain, granting Spain dominion over what came to be known as the Western Hemisphere.

Now arguably the most powerful monarchs in Europe, Ferdinand and Isabella's children married heirs to the thrones of England, France, and Portugal; and considered the most glorious, the heir to the Holy Roman Empire.

When Isabella died, her eldest surviving daughter, Juana, became Queen of Castile, but her husband died shortly afterwards. True, Juana's grief was monumental, but she may not have been insane. However, her father, Ferdinand used her emotional state against her, and effectively stole Castile. She was locked up, and Ferdinand had himself made regent in her place. She remained in captivity for 46 years, until her death.

Ferdinand was admired by many in the past, but the man was frankly, a greedy and selfish weasel.

Answer: Elizabeth Woodville

Elizabeth Woodville was the Queen consort of Edward IV, and the first commoner to marry a King of England. While she is widely considered to be the most beautiful woman ever to sit on the English throne, and cannot be faulted for a lack of fertility, she was extremely unpopular both at court and with the common people.

Elizabeth was five years older than Edward, and already had two young sons from her first husband when she and Edward married in secret. Edward's greatest supporter, the Earl of Warwick, was on the verge of arranging a marriage between the King and a French princess when Edward finally admitted that he was already married. The relationship between the two men never recovered.

One of the main complaints was that Elizabeth had many siblings, all of whom she arranged preferential treatment for. Advantageous marriages, high posts in government, and a lot of money flowed into the hands of Elizabeth's relations. The established aristocracy resented the fact that the Woodvilles had access to all of this privilege, leaving them and their children out of the loop, so to speak.

Among the most fertile of monarchs, Edward and Elizabeth produced ten children. Edward, who had a very addictive personality, was legendary for his infidelity, and as he aged, he also took to drink, and ate to excess. Towards the end of his life, he was known to gorge himself, and then take an emetic, so that after throwing up, he could eat some more. Not surprisingly, he gained a great deal of weight, and became less and less active. He died suddenly at the age of 40, after taking a chill while fishing on the Thames during the winter.

Like everyone else, Elizabeth was unprepared for Edward's sudden demise, but she did her best to stay in power. After the disappearance of her sons, she concentrated on marrying her eldest daughter, Elizabeth of York to the next King of England, finally succeeding with Henry VII. However, Henry and his mother, Margaret Beaufort did not trust Elizabeth Woodville, and certainly did not wish to share power with her. Elizabeth retired to Bermondsey Abbey, where she died at the age of 55.

Both Edward and Elizabeth plotted constantly for power, but Elizabeth was especially shameless about it. It is little wonder that so many resented her, during her lifetime.

Answer: Caroline of Brunswick

Caroline of Brunswick married her cousin, the future George IV of England, in 1795. He agreed to marry her because the government promised to clear his debt of £630,000 if he went through with the ceremony right away.

They couldn't stand one another. Caroline had major hygiene problems, was overweight, boisterous, opinionated, and had been rude to George's mistress. They managed to have a baby together, but otherwise avoided one another as much as possible. Approximately a year after they were married, Caroline was moved to a house in Blackheath, and informed by George that she could do as she liked, as he wouldn't be having relations with her again. She took him literally.

Caroline engaged in all sorts of strange behaviours at her new home, including the display of pornographic images, and dancing for her guests almost naked. Deprived of her own daughter, she began to take in orphans, and was eventually accused of having given birth to a son. George was delighted, thinking that he could get a divorce, but the investigation proved inconclusive. The entire royal family ostracized her from this point on.

Fed up after years of fighting for her rights, and having secured an annual allowance of £35,000, she sailed for Europe in 1814. Caroline toured the Mediterranean for several years, allegedly taking lovers, including the brother-in-law of Napoleon. She was said to dance naked in fountains, behaved provocatively at social events, wore wildly inappropriate attire in public, and often stank due to her continued poor hygiene.

In November, 1817, Caroline and George's daughter, Princess Charlotte, died in childbirth. George refused to write to Caroline to tell her, and she found out through second hand channels. George now had no heir, but he was unwilling to reconcile with Caroline, even if she was still capable of giving birth. He wanted to divorce and marry again, so he needed to prove that Caroline had committed adultery. The fact that he had committed adultery countless times did not signify.

In 1820 her husband's father, King George III died, and Caroline decided that she would like to be Queen, after all. The government offered to increase her annuity to £50,000, provided she stayed out of England. Caroline refused, and returned in June, 1820. Once back on English soil, the government mounted the Pains and Penalties Bill, designed to strip Caroline of the title of queen and dissolve her marriage. While they couldn't prove adultery, Caroline joked that she had indeed committed adultery once-with the husband of Mrs. Fitzherbert, the new King. She was again offered £50,000 without conditions, and she accepted.

Despite the controversy, Caroline was wildly popular with the populace. There were riots in her support, and demonstrations against George IV, who was universally despised. There were over 800 petitions and nearly a million signatures that favoured her cause.

George's coronation was held on July 21, 1820. Caroline had been advised not not attend, but she turned up anyway, determined to be crowned Queen. The main doors to Westminster Abbey were slammed in her face, on the orders of George IV. She tried other entrances, and was turned away each time. The crowds jeered as she finally drove away in her carriage. Caroline fell ill that evening, and died three weeks later at the age of 53. She was buried in Brunswick Cathedral.

Caroline certainly had her faults, but so did her husband. His hatred of her amounted to a mania, and he could not bring himself to be kind to her in any way. She lived a rather sad life.

Answer: Empress Alexandra Feodorovna

Empress Alexandra Feodorovna was the wife of Nicholas II of Russia, and it was a true love match. Unfortunately, Alexandra had a sensitive personality, was somewhat unstable, and rather shy. She was deeply hurt that Nicholas's parents opposed their marriage, and then further dismayed when the Russian people disapproved of her, as well. Her reaction was to seclude herself, only really interacting with her husband and children.

Nicholas, while a wonderful family man, was an extremely incompetent Tsar. He simply did not have the intelligence, training, or energy to rule a complex country like Russia. He was determined to remain an absolute monarch, but he had no idea what needed to be done (both he and Alexandra believed in The Divine Right of Kings). He relied on self-interested advisers, including his own wife. To be fair, Alexandra was only trying to help her husband, but she was even more incompetent than he was.

After four daughters, Alexandra gave birth to the Tsarevich Alexi. It was not long afterwards that they realized he was a hemophiliac, which at the time was a deadly disease. This led Alexandra to frantically seek a cure, and eventually she was introduced to Grigory Rasputin - a debauched Siberian mystic, who apparently did manage to save Alexei's life on at least one occasion. Alexandra refused to listen to anything negative about Rasputin, writing that "Saints are always calumniated. He is hated because we love him."

Rasputin, for his part, gave much ill-conceived advice to the Empress, which she passed on to her husband. Nicholas, seemingly incapable of refusing his wife anything, usually did as he was told. Rasputin's political interference led to his own assassination in December, 1916.

World War I had brought many tensions, and both Alexandra and Nicholas used alcohol, cocaine, Veronal, and other drugs to cope with the strain they were under. Once Alexandra was made regent while Nicholas was at the front, she was accused of being a a spy or collaborator with the Germans - her home country. With no experience in government whatsoever, she constantly appointed and re-appointed ministers, many of which were as incompetent as she was. Some of the aristocracy began to plan for her assassination, believing this might be the only way to avoid a revolt by the populace. To make matters worse, Nicholas's decision to take personal control of the army was disastrous, as he lost battle after battle, and failed to keep his troops, fed, clothed, or armed. Russian soldiers died in the thousands.

The winter of 1916-17 was an especially severe one, with widespread famine, strikes, and rioting. Soldiers turned against the Tsar, and he was forced to abdicate. Reunited with his family, they were effectively prisoners in their own palace. Efforts to go into exile in England, France, and other European
countries did not work out, and as the revolution went on, the family was moved to worse and worse prisons. Finally they were taken to Ekaterinburg, more than 1,000 miles east of Moscow, where they were executed on July 17, 1918.

An appalling woman in many ways, Alexandra and her family nonetheless did not deserve to die the way they did, any more than they deserved to be canonized as saints and passion bearers by the Russian Orthodox Church. Now considered saints, many religious people now believe the mythology that Nicholas and Alexandra cared about, and fought for the rights of the ordinary Russian people - but nothing could be further from the truth.