I Unfriend You! Trivia Quiz

Answer: Abel

If social media existed in the Bible, Cain might have unfriended Abel, before or after killing him.

Cain was Adam and Eve's first child. Abel was the second child (it is unknown how much older Cain was). For whatever reason, the Lord accepted Abel's lamb offering, but rejected Cain's fruit offering. Cain became so angry and envious that he murdered his brother and became the first murderer according to the Bible.

At first glance, it might seem like Cain's offering was unacceptable because it was fruit or plant instead of meat. However, God accepted grain and vegetable offerings elsewhere in Scripture, so perhaps the real issue was with Cain's heart. He probably wasn't thankful to God and he possibly already had hate or envy in his heart towards Abel. It's possible that Abel's offering being accepted was the last straw.

Answer: Canaan

Noah would probably unfriend Canaan on social media. Come to think of it, Canaan would probably unfriend him too.

Noah got drunk and passed out. It's hard to believe that Noah got drunk, as the Bible condemns drunkenness as a sin, but clearly he wasn't perfect. He was simply the most righteous person alive during the time of the flood. The Bible suggests that many of the "people" God killed in the flood weren't even fully human, but rather a corrupted race of half-demon giants; the result of fallen angels mating with human women. See Genesis 6, 7, and 8.

According to Genesis 9, Ham, one of Noah's sons, "saw the nakedness" of Noah while he was passed out drunk. Ham then went and told his brothers, Shem and Japheth, about it.

"When Noah awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him. So he said,
"Cursed be Canaan;
A servant of servants
He shall be to his brothers." He also said,
"Blessed be the Lord,
The God of Shem;
And let Canaan be his servant. "May God enlarge Japheth,
And let him dwell in the tents of Shem;
And let Canaan be his servant" Genesis 9: 24-27, New American Standard translation.

While a literal interpretation implies that Ham merely saw his father naked, some have suggested that something more wicked occurred, such as Ham raping Noah, which would be rape, incest, and sodomy. Others have suggested that Ham had sex with his mother, Noah's wife, and Canaan was the result. Regardless of the sin, the reader is left wondering why Noah cursed Canaan instead of Ham. One can only speculate why. The word "brothers" is better understood as "relatives" since Shem and Japheth were Canaan's uncles. Canaan's brothers were actually Cush (Ethiopia), Phut (Libya), and Mizraim ( Egypt).

While historical, some used to teach a sad and frankly irrational interpretation of this story. They taught that Canaan's curse was divine justification for white people enslaving black people in early America. Although it's biblically true that Japheth was an ancestor of Europeans (and Shem an ancestor of Hebrews and some Arabs) the pro-slavery/racism interpretation makes no sense for several reasons:

1. Noah, not God, cursed Canaan. This wasn't a command from the Lord for enslaving anyone, and genuine Christianity doesn't value one ethnic group, nation, or skin color over another. God cursed the ground and Adam and Eve for their sin (Genesis 3), but God didn't curse any ethnic groups. All are equal. All are under sin and all may be forgiven of sin, if they ask for it, according to the New Testament. Now the Bible does say that the Jews are God's chosen nation--He chose them to bring His word and laws to the other nations. The Bible is a Jewish book. He gave them a land that was originally called "Canaan". It seems to me that, if anything, this curse found fulfilment in God giving the land of the Canaanites to the Jewish people. Noah even seems to put Shem above Japheth. So much for white/European supremacy. In the Gospels, a Canaanite woman begged Jesus to heal her daughter. He initially turned her down, declaring that He was "sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel," but later told her that she had great faith and granted her request.

2. The Canaanites were "Middle Eastern" people, not "black" or African people. They lived in what we recognize as Israel, Palestine, Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan. It's much more biblically accurate to say that Africans came from Ham's other sons. It seems that those who wished to justify racism believed that Canaan's curse applied to all of Ham's descendants, because Ham saw Noah naked, but the Bible doesn't actually say this. Fortunately, most Christians have abandoned this interpretation. Some never believed it to begin with.

3. Japheth's descendants didn't include ONLY Europeans. They also included Persians, Pakistanis, Afghanis, etc. Likewise, Ham's descendants weren't ONLY African. They also included Middle Eastern like Canaanites or Philistines, Native Americans, and certain Asians.

Answer: Hagar

Sarah would unfriend Hagar on social media. Hagar would probably unfriend her too.

While Abraham was the father of many nations, Sarah was the mother of the Jewish nation (Sarah gave birth to Isaac; Isaac and Rebekah had Jacob and then Jacob and his wives had the twelve tribes of Israel).

Sarah didn't believe God when He told her that she would have a son in her old age, so she asked Abraham to have a child with her Egyptian maid, Hagar. Surrogacy didn't exist, but that was essentially their version of surrogacy. Hagar gave birth to a son named Ishmael, but it wasn't long before Sarah began to regret her decision. Hagar became disrespectful towards her and Ishmael mocked Isaac. Sarah finally told Abraham to kick Hagar and Ishmael out.

Answer: Shechem

Levi would unfriend Shechem--that is, if he even was his friend to begin with.

Dinah was Levi's sister. She went out to visit the Hivite women (Hivites were a subgroup of Canaanites). A Hivite male, Shechem, saw her and raped her. He claimed to be in love with her and wanted to marry her, so he and his father asked Jacob and Jacob's sons if Schecem could marry Dinah. Funny how they thought that the men could determine that and her opinion didn't matter. It appears that it was a similar thing with Adonijah and Abishag--who Abishag wanted to marry didn't matter. I'm glad to be alive in a modern culture with feminism/women's rights.

Dinah's brothers were angry and agreed to let him marry Dinah on one condition: all of the Hivite men needed to be circumcised. However, after all of them were circumcised, Levi and Simeon snuck in the Hivite camp and killed Shechem, his father, and others. They also rescued Dinah and brought her back to their family. When Jacob learned what they did, he was afraid for his safety among the Canaanites. Levi and Simeon answered, "Should he treat our sister like a harlot?"

Answer: Moses

The Pharaoh would have unfriended Moses if social media existed in the Bible.

The Pharaoh was angry because God had killed his son in the final plague. If he would have just let the Hebrews go earlier, it wouldn't have come to that. Heartbroken, the Pharaoh agreed to let them go--only to later decide that he wanted them back. So he and his army chased the fleeing Israelites, but drowned after God let them cross the sea.

There is a misconception in popular culture or media that the Pharaoh was Moses' adopted brother, but the Bible doesn't support this. Exodus 3 says that the Pharaoh's daughter, not wife, adopted baby Moses. If the Pharaoh alive during Moses' adult life was a son of the other Pharaoh (his adoptive grandfather) then he would have been more like an uncle.

Answer: David

Saul would have unfriended David on social media.

Saul was the king of Israel and the father of David's first wife, Michal. However, Saul disobeyed the Lord by not killing all of the Amalekites. They were relentless enemies of Israel and because Saul didn't destroy them, one descendant became Haman, the man who tried to annihilate the Jewish people during the time of Esther. David was the boy that God chose to replace Saul--God wouldn't even allow one of Saul's own sons to replace him. We are told that the Spirit departed from Saul and Saul was very envious of David and hated him. He tried to kill him more than once. In fact, Michal saved David's life one time. Ultimately, however, David divorced Michal and she died childless because she rebuked him when he danced for the Lord. She thought that he was dancing to attract the female servants--understandable when you consider that David was a womanizer and he apparently wasn't dressed well.

Answer: Amnon

Absalom unfriended and killed Amnon.

David had many wives and many children. Amnon was actually his firstborn son, the son of Ahinoam. Absalom was David's third son and he and Tamar were children of Maacah.

Amnon had a strong lust for his half-sister Tamar and when she refused to fornicate with him, he raped her. The text says that Amnon went from "loving" Tamar to hating her. Absalom loved Tamar in a pure, brotherly way--a protective older brother I suppose. When Absalom learned what happened, he was livid and killed Amnon. To be fair, one can't really blame Absalom for being so angry. The Law says that those who commit rape and incest are to have the death penalty. Was this revenge and murder or justice? Absalom later named his daughter "Tamar" as a tribute to his sister. But Absalom also later tried to overthrow and kill his own father to become the king, so his character wasn't great either.

Answer: Uriah

I thought about Uriah unfriending David, but how does a dead person unfriend someone? Plus I already had Saul unfriending David.

David saw Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, bathing (this was probably a ritual menstruation cleaning; she was minding her own business) and he thought that she was beautiful. When he learned that he (David) got her pregnant, he plotted the death of Uriah. The child that she was pregnant with died, but David married Bathsheba and she bore him several more sons, including Solomon and Nathan (named after the prophet who rebuked him).

Many use the term "adultery" to describe David's sin, but there is no indication that Bathsheba actually consented to the initial affair. Because David was such a powerful ruler, she probably felt like she had to obey him. When Uriah died, she mourned him and Nathan called her a slaughtered lamb, taken from a poor man for a rich man. God seems to blame only David for this sin.

Answer: Adonijah

Solomon would have unfriended his half-brother Adonijah.

Solomon was the son of David and Bathsheba; the one that God chose to be king after David, even though he had many older brothers. Adonijah was the son of David and Haggith.

Adonijah asked Bathsheba to ask Solomon let him marry Abishag. Abishag was the young woman who nursed David in his old age. Bathsheba thought that it was an innocent enough request, but Solomon became very angry.

"King Solomon answered and said to his mother, 'And why are you asking Abishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? Ask for him also the kingdom⁠-for he is my older brother⁠-even for him, for Abiathar the priest, and for Joab the son of Zeruiah!' Then King Solomon swore by the Lord, saying, 'May God do so to me and more also, if Adonijah has not spoken this word against his own life. Now therefore, as the Lord lives, who has established me and set me on the throne of David my father and who has made me a house as He promised, surely Adonijah shall be put to death today.' So King Solomon sent Benaiah the son of Jehoiada; and he fell upon him so that he died."
- 1 Kings 2:22-25, New American Standard translation.

Some scholars believe that Abishag the Shunammite might have been the same as the Shulammite woman from the Song of Solomon.

Answer: Michael

Satan unfriended Michael the angel. He unfriended God as well.

Revelation 12 states that Satan got in a war with Micheal and it resulted in Satan and several angels falling down from Heaven to Earth. Yes, that's right; Satan isn't in hell. He's on Earth; the god of this world. He won't be in "hell" or the lake of fire until after the second coming of the Messiah. The idea that Satan is the ruler of hell comes from Dante more than it does from the Bible. Conflation with the pagan god Hades is part of it too.