Don't Panic, It's The "Hitch Hiker's Guide" Quiz

Answer: Peter Jones

The introduction to the "Guide" runs like this "Space is big, really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind bogglingly big it is, I mean you may think it's a long way down the street to the chemist but that's just peanuts to space."

Answer: 11:46 am

As the story begins at 6:30am, the human race has just over 5 hours to make any sort of escape from Earth. The dolphins of course had already left.

Answer: The Red Lion

Arthur "3 pints at lunchtime?" Ford "Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so!". Ford made Arthur drink the beer in order to help him cope with the beam they were about to go through to get them onto the Vogon Constructor Fleet.

Answer: Vogons

To quote the book "Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a vogon... forget it!" The plans for the destruction of Earth had been on display for 50 years apparently. Before being kicked off the Vogon ship, Arthur and Ford are given a recital of one of the Vogon Captain's poems. Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the universe.

Answer: The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

The effect of this drink "is like having your brain smashed out with a slice of lemon... wrapped around a large gold brick". This drink was invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Answer: "God And The Babel Fish"

He wrote 4 in total about God, the third of which was titled "Who Is This God Person Anyway". He wrote the final one "Well, That About Wraps It Up For God" after many people chose to see that the Babel Fish was proof that God didn't exist. Of course, this proved that God didn't exist by proving that God did exist. Simple!

Answer: Towel

Strange indeed. He left behind Stun Guns, Telecom Systems, Hypno Rays and Tele-psychic Helmets and took a towel.

Answer: 30 seconds

Arthur and Ford were rescued some 29 seconds after being thrown from the Vogon ship. As it happens, the ship had been stolen by Ford's semi-cousin, Zaphod.

Answer: Phil

Arthur was trying to sweet talk a woman when along came Zaphod and said "Hey doll, is this guy boring you? Why don't you come and talk to me, I'm from a different planet".

Answer: Marvin

Marvin has, or had a brain the size of a planet. He eventually chose to lay down his life for the others by manually operating the teleport in Disaster Area's stuntship. The ship went on to crash into the sun.

Answer: Magrathea

As the recession hit the galaxy hard, no one could afford a Magrathean planet so everyone there decided to sleep through the recession. After 5 million years they were awoken by the arrival of Zaphod's ship.

Answer: They didn't like the surface very much

The planet is grey and rocky. It is described by Ford as a "desolate hole".

Answer: not important

His name is of course Slartibartfast. He informs Arthur that the Earth was infact a giant computer built to calculate the question to which the answer is of course 42. He also tells Arthur that the Earth was being run by the mice.

Answer: Dolphins

The dolphins knew of the impending demolition of Earth and attempted to warn the humans of this. Their final message to the humans was "So long, and thanks for all the fish". It does say that the only species more intelligent than the dolphins were mice.

Answer: Deep Thought

Deep Thought, the 2nd greatest computer in the universe calculated that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything was 42. Deep Thought then designed an even greater computer to calculate what the question actually means. This computer was the Earth of course.

Answer: Africa

He did Norway on the original Earth, and won an award for the "lovely, crinkly edges". Of course, the 2nd Earth was never completed as the mice decided the question was buried in Arthur's brain and they wanted to buy the brain from him.

Answer: 3800

Each fleet had scored 1900, so when they merged the grant total became 3800, all of which was snatched by the small dog. Yes, I know it's an obscure question!

Answer: 42

Well, who knows, that could be the answer!

Answer: Milliways

At the opposite end of time is the Big Bang Burger Bar. The guys think they are dead when they arrive at Milliways having been blasted by cops on Magrathea. As it happens they were sent forward in time. Milliways was constructed upon the ruin of Magrathea.

Answer: Disaster Area

Disaster Area are known not only to be the loudest rock band, but the loudest noise of any kind at all in the Universe. Their songs mostly follow the familiar pattern of boy meets girl beneath a silvery moon... which then explodes for no adequately explored reason.

Answer: The Gagralacka Mind Zones

Their set traditionally ends with a black ship crashing into the sun, on this occasion it was the sun of Kakrafoon. The Belcerebon people were using the concert to block out their minds as they had been inflicted with telepathy for being an overly quiet race. Now, unless they talk gibberish constantly, they will hear each other's thoughts. of course, the noise of the concert blocks their thoughts too.

Answer: Parking cars

"What else does one do in a car park?"

Answer: Another 8 Flanian Pobble Beads

According to the "Guide", there were 3 monetary units but "The Altairian Dollar has recently collapsed, Flanian Pobble Beads are only exchangable for other Flanian Pobble Beads and the Triganic Pu doesn't really count as money." It goes on to say that the exchange rate is 8 Ningis to one Pu, but no one has ever collected enough Ningis to own one Pu.

This is most probably because a Ningi is a triangular coin 6,800 miles along each side.

Answer: Nine

Ford:"Six by Nine... FORTY TWO?". Of course Arthur wasn't actually part of the computer program, and his attempts to help the cavemen to evolve were pointless.

Answer: The Golgafrinchams

Arthur and Ford crash landed back on Earth with the Golgafrinchams. They were in a ship full of "useless bloody loonies" such as management consultants and telephone sanitisers. Descendents of the great Circling Poets or Arium had invented tales of impending doom to rid Golgafrincham of the useless third of its population.

The remaining 2 thirds of the population were later wiped out by a disease contracted from a dirty telephone. Too bad they sent all the telephone sanitisers to Earth in the B-Ark.