"The Bad Beginning: Part Two" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Haircut

Mr. Lemony Snicket greets the viewer and says that the melancholy tale unfolding before their eyes is not one that should be viewed at all. He encourages anyone watching to leave.

Of course, it is still Mr. Snicket's duty to report his findings, and he brings the story back to its origins, long before Mr. Poe took in the Baudelaire orphans and even before they children made their way to Briny Beach that fateful day. How did they end up in the care of Count Olaf? In the ill-decorated office of Mr. Poe, he received the file, but not from the hands of his secretary. Instead, it was brought to him by Count Olaf himself, who made his way into Mulctuary Money Management, snagged the file from the secretary, and brought it in himself under the name Yessica Haircut. Of course, Mr. Poe has an appointment for a haircut already, so he cancels that and decides to hear what he has to say.

Mr. Poe's secretary, realizing this is an urgent matter, takes a device from her desk drawer, goes outside, and uses it to spy Count Olaf's vehicle across the road. She doesn't notice one of his henchmen is missing until it's too late.

Answer: Jacquelyn

Count Olaf claims that he has consulting expertise, and he would stake his claim on the fact that 'closest living relative' refers to the person who lives the closest out of all relatives, and Mr. Poe, believing him, decides that they will plot it out on a map of the city and determine who will take the Baudelaires in instead of the scientist they were initially expected to live with. The nearest, he says, is likely renowned actor and handsome man, Count Olaf. Mr. Poe asks Jacquelyn to bring in a very large ruler with which he can measure distances, but she's no longer there. She's trapped in a remote park.

Our story resumes with the Baudelaires chopping wood in the backyard. Klaus wants to live on the streets instead of with Count Olaf, but he won't take his eyes off them and they would prefer to have a roof over their heads. They decide to go to town to see what can be done.

Answer: True

The children had to Mulctuary Money Management to speak directly to Mr. Poe about Count Olaf's wicked ways, but he seems to think that they just have a bad first impression of him. And there's a major issue had with the fact that he no longer has a suitable secretary and his haircut appointments keep getting pushed around. Unfortunately, he will be unable to help them because Count Olaf is their legal guardian. He has his new secretary-- the man with hooks for hands, part of Count Olaf's troupe-- give them a ride home.

They return to Count Olaf's and he has them sit at his dinner table for a discussion. He offers them some store-bought cupcakes and insists that after a call from Mr. Poe he wants nothing more than to be more like a father figure to them. In fact, he says, he was stand-offish-- a word which does not apply to the way he acted, referring to 'a person who, for any reasons, is not associating with others'. Therefore, to make them feel more at home, he wants them to participate in his next play.

In a remote park, Jacqueline pulls the tree she's tied to out of the ground, hobbles to a pay phone, and makes a call to a man named Gustav.

Answer: The Marvellous Marriage

Olaf tells the children that his play, 'The Marvellous Marriage', is going to be a sensation. Written by the great playwright Al Funcoot, it tells the story of a good-looking man on the day of his wedding. Sunny and Klaus will play midgets, cheering from the crowd; Violet, he says, will play his young wife. It's a one-time show to be played on Friday, and all Violet needs to say is the line 'I do.' The kids say that they would prefer not to, but Olaf reminds them that as their guardian, he can force them due to the law.

The kids head over to Justice Strauss' house, but they find there is no one inside. Instead, they find Justice in her library in the back and ask her if they can research the theater. Ms. Strauss says that she would give up every wig just to wear a costume for the theater and encourages their research, even if Klaus also seems to have an interest in local ordinances-- a topic she finds a bit dry, even if she's a Judge of the High Court.

Count Olaf watches them as they study in the library across the way while attending to the goings-on of the troupe. When he sees that Count Olaf is reading a book about nuptial law, he decides he must rush over. That's because Klaus is discovering that all it takes for a marriage to be declared legal is 'a statement of active acquiescence by both participants utilizing in loco parentis if necessary and the signing of an explanatory document in the bride's own hand'. It means what he thinks it means.

Not much more further research is done. Count Olaf strides in and asks Justice Strauss if she will play a role in his performance. She graciously accepts the small, walk-on role as a judge.

Answer: Klaus

Count Olaf brings the children back to his house and has the hook-handed man bring them to their rooms, where they are to stay prisoners until Friday when the play is ready to be performed. In the meantime, he tries out the different buttercreams of his prop wedding cake.

In their room, Klaus vows to read the entire book of nuptial law overnight. It's a long and difficult book, and not at all enjoyable. He gets through everything he needs to know and seems to have a renewed sense of hope, but so does Count Olaf who, sitting in the dining room having his morning coffee, doesn't seem to care that Klaus knows his plan to, literally, marry Violet-- 'literally', in this case, meaning that something is actually happening, while 'figuratively' would mean something that feels like it's happening. (The Count doesn't seem to know the difference between these.)

So he's actually planning to marry Violet. The play would be legally-binding and Count Olaf would have dominion over any spousal holdings, and since he is acting 'in loco parentis', she doesn't need to be the age of consent.

Answer: In a birdcage

Violet and Klaus confirm the issue with each other and decide that they need to leave Count Olaf's wretched household immediately, but when they head upstairs to retrieve Sunny, they discover that she's not in their bed. Count Olaf makes it apparent that he is responsible for her disappearance and, when they follow Sunny's noises outside, they realize that Olaf has placed her in a birdcage, high above the ground, hanging out the window of his secret tower room. If they want her to be safe and sound, they will need to perform in his play. Violet has no choice but to agree. When Count Olaf heads inside, she puts her hair up and starts thinking.

In the sewers beneath the city, Jacqueline struggles to navigate the lit tunnels to rendezvous with Gustav. They finally meet and agree that things have gotten disastrous because Mr. Poe met with a consultant, and that consultant's name rhymed with 'Rice Pilaf'. They decide to head to the show on Friday night to investigate deeper. In the meantime, they need to think of another way to get the children in the hands of Doctor Montgomery, their actual legal guardian, who the Baudelaire parents wanted to be the guardian of their children in case of fire.

Answer: Grappling hook

Klaus uses the bed and goes to sleep on Thursday night because Violet believes it's her turn to stay up and come up with a plan. She gets to work, scouring the house for items she can use to create something perfect for the situation. She has to use Count Olaf's bathroom #7 to do her work, but she is able while Count Olaf is distracted making her dress with the powder-faced women.

Outside, Violet uses her device-- a grappling hook and automatic retractor-- to latch onto a pole above Sunny's cage and ascend to the window of the tower. She's successful, but the man with hooks for hands spots her and pulls her inside, forcing her to take a seat while he contacts Count Olaf via walkie-talkie and affirms that within due time he will be her henchperson-in-law.

On his way up, Count Olaf brings Klaus to stay with his sister and they get locked into the tower. He says he'll only let them out when it's time for the marriage. After he leaves, the children get to work, thinking of another plan to get them out of their predicament.

Answer: Across from a theatre

Mr. Snicket informs the viewer that a room is able to tell a lot about a person. His own room, across from an abandoned theatre which last showed Al Funcoot's 'The Marvellous Marriage', contains information pertinent to his investigation and search for the Baudelaire orphans. It also contains a blurry photograph of Beatrice that he looks at from time to time, though it's unable to help, much like the items in Count Olaf's tower.

Soon, Count Olaf returns to take Violet and Klaus to the theatre. The hook-handed man says he will stay with Sunny and communicate via walkie-talkie in case anything unfortunate occurs.

Count Olaf gives word to Eleanora Poe of 'The Daily Punctilio' before forcing the Baudelaires to take seats behind the curtains and getting ready for the performance. Justice Strauss is placed next to them and told that she must say every line as though it were a real wedding ceremony, partly because there are talent scouts in the audience. This is enough to distract her from hearing the children's pleas for a moment of her time.

And soon the curtains part, and Count Olaf takes the stage.

Answer: No

In Count Olaf's tower, the hook-handed man, bored with his task, suggests that he and Sunny play some poker to pass the time. Before he realizes, the bets have gotten out of hand, and he's the one tied up.

Count Olaf, meanwhile, runs through an exhausting performance, one that puts Mr. Poe to sleep in the crowd. Eventually, Klaus, Violet, and Justice Strauss are called to the stage for their parts. Naturally, Justice Strauss stumbles over her lines, completely overcome with stagefright. But despite this, Count Olaf signs the declaration of marriage and says 'I do'. And when it comes turn for Violet to say 'I do', she does, and she signs the declaration.

Count Olaf ends the performance immediately after and turns the house lights up (to which Mr. Poe applauds, being roused from his sleep). He announces that its purpose has been served; the marriage is legal and he controls the Baudelaire fortune. Justice says that it can't be true, but sure enough, she's been duped; Count Olaf, she claims, is a vile and terrible person. There is nothing that can be done.

In fact, there's still one thing to be done. Count Olaf gets on his walkie-talkie and commands his henchman to drop the cage. Unfortunately for him, Sunny had a straight flush and won the poker game, which meant that the hook-handed man had to bring her down to the theatre in a wheelbarrow. A bet's a bet.

While Gustav and Jacqueline extend their spyglasses from their seats in the audience, Violet says that she doesn't believe herself to be his Countess, fortunately. She did not sign the document in her own hand; she is right-handed, and she signed it with her left. Justice Strauss informs Count Olaf that Violet is, in fact, well...she doesn't know. She admits it's okay not to know. But Klaus knows. Grabbing a blackboard, he creates a legal argument that is both thoroughly impressive and utterly convincing. Judge Strauss really has no choice but to declare the marriage invalid.

Answer: Doctor Montgomery

Count Olaf says that even though Violet is not his wife, she is still his daughter...but Mr. Poe stops him there. Because of the treachery he's seen on the stage, he refuses to let Count Olaf be their legal guardian any longer. He even plans to fire Count Olaf's henchman as his secretary. Jacqueline and Gustav rise from their seats in the audience and inform Mr. Poe that Doctor Montgomery is expecting the children, and as their actual, legal guardian as per the last will and testament of the Baudelaire parents, he shall receive them as soon as possible. Mr. Poe says that this series of unfortunate events can finally be put to rest and Count Olaf can be brought to the authorities.

But the lights go out.

And Count Olaf disappears.

Justice Strauss tells the children that the proper authorities will go after Count Olaf, but in the meantime she would be happy to watch over them. Unfortunately, they must go with Doctor Montgomery even though they've never met him due to their parents' wishes. This does mean that they have to say their sad goodbyes. The theatre clears out and the Baudelaires leave with Mr. Poe. They don't notice that Count Olaf and his henchmen have left via the sewers for some Vigorously-Fixed Destination.

Mr. Snicket packs his suitcase and, as a knocking can be heard at his door, he leaves out the window.

Jacqueline discovers that the Baudelaire parents may be alive, but they've been taken away. She communicates this to Gustav, but at that moment he's struck with a poison dart and left to drown in a garden pond. His last words are 'the world is quiet here'.

Justice Strauss puts away her copy of 'Adoption Law and You' and, in doing so, notices the copy of a book she was looking at earlier-- 'The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations'.

As the Poes drive home, Eleanora Poe comments that they'll be on the front page of 'The Daily Punctilio' yet again. The children realize that they are moving, once more, in an aberrant-- in this case, 'aberrant' meaning 'very, very wrong and causing much grief'-- direction.

In a prison cell, somewhere else, a mother and father plot their escape.