"The Bad Beginning: Part One" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Beatrice

"Beatrice-- Darling, Dearest... Dead."

As our narrator, Mr. Lemony Snicket says, this is not really a story for anyone. In fact, no one should watch it. There is no happy ending. There is no happy beginning. Very few happy things occur in the middle. One would be better off not watching at all; anyone could just turn away and watch something more pleasant instead.

But of course, the story must still be told, which is why Mr. Snicket informs the viewer that the Baudelaire children and the events that surround them are rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. It begins on the trolley.

Answer: The beach

The Baudelaires take the rickety trolly-- in this case, the word 'rickety' means 'unsteady, or likely to collapse at any moment'-- to Briny Beach. It's a cloudy day, but they reason that it makes it the perfect day to have fun by the seashore. On a sunny day, it would be impossible to find space amongst the tourists at the beach. Violet looks forward to playing with devices on the beach as she is a wonderful mechanic; she ties her hair back and gets to work. Klaus, the middle child, is intelligent and booksmart; he's on the beach to assist Violet, reading to her about the ocean currents. Sunny, the infant, uses her four teeth in innovative ways; the others hand her a rock and she bites into it, crafting a smooth stone. Violet takes the stone back and begins to throw with her left hand, but Klaus insists that she use the normal right to ensure that they get stable calculations with minimal variation. She switches away from her non-dominant left and throws. When she opens her picnic basket, a mechanical device stretches out and retrieves the stone.

Mr. Snicket says that the invention works. He insists that any viewer leave now. It only gets worse from here.

Answer: Fire

The children watch as a mysterious man walks down the beach towards them; it's scary, they claim, because of all the mist on the shore. Violet recognizes him as Mr. Poe, from the bank. They exchange pleasantries, but he's there to inform them that their parents have perished in a horrible fire and their house has been destroyed. 'Perished' means 'killed', he says.

Mr. Snicket says that he has spent months trying to determine the source of the fire, but neither the official fire department nor the volunteer fire department arrived in time, and that's the most important part.

The children return to the ruins of their house, but there's nothing left. Absolutely nothing.

As the executor of their parents' estate, Mr. Poe states that they have great financial inheritance to be granted to them when Violet becomes of age. Until then, he and the other bankers at Mulctuary Money Management will determine the guardian or guardians who will care for them in this time of need.

So into Mr. Poe's car they go, and away from their home they drive.

Answer: Newspapers

Until Mr. Poe finds the Baudelaires a new guardian, they are to stay with him and his family-- his wife and his two boys, Edgar and Albert. This turns out to be quite unfortunate as the orphans are not given much of a welcome and the Poes' lack of compassion turns out to be poorly-received. The children end up being mentioned on the front page of the newspaper, 'The Daily Punctilio', which Mrs. Poe happens to be an editor of, but it's apparent she only cares about the great story the three of them will produce as a result of their tragic happenings. As the children try to sleep, the Poe children ask how they set the fire that killed their parents.

Mr. Snicket informs the viewer that one of the Poe boys went into banking, like his father. The other lives in a cave and talks to sheep. They each think the other has it better. The Baudelaires' fate, nonetheless, is worse.

Answer: Three miles

Mr. Poe finds a new guardian for the Baudelaire children and drives them to their new home before banking hours to make sure they settle in. He says that their new guardian is an actor and he's very excited to meet them. His name is Count Olaf and he only lives three miles away, which makes him their closest living relative and, as per their parents' will, the closest relative is the one they will live with. Mr. Poe also says that it will be a hasty drop-off-- 'hasty', in this case, meaning 'quick, because he's due at the bank soon', but they know what it means.

When they arrive, they meet with Justice Strauss who, as she says, is a Justice of the High Court. She tries to shake their hands, but can't because she's overloaded with parcels, all of which seem to cater to the Baudelaires' diverse interests. The children offer their assistance and ask if he's Count Olaf's wife, but she's a bit surprised. Count Olaf is actually her neighbour. He lives in the dreary house across the street.

Answer: Ballroom

Mr. Poe brings the children across to Count Olaf's house and he greets them all with a certain...flair. He asks them to come in, to wipe their feet so that they don't attract mud, and to bring their fortune with them. Mr. Poe introduces himself as being from the bank and insists that none of the Baudelaire fortune can be touched as per the will. And then he leaves.

Mr. Snicket states that Count Olaf is severely wicked, and he's spent many nights weeping over the misfortunes of the Baudelaires for falling into Olaf's clutches.

And as a welcome, Olaf leads them around the house with a list of chores, demonstrating all they will need to do to fix things up. Olaf brings them to their bedroom-- the highest room in the house with a single bed and holes in the ceiling-- and gives them a moment to unpack. The moment passes after they try to find the bright side and he has them clean their bathroom-- bathroom #7-- with their own toothbrushes.

Answer: A rack of lamb

The doorbell rings, distracting Count Olaf from the children's first chores, and he heads downstairs to find Mrs. Strauss with a plate of lamb, hoping to welcome the orphans to the neighbourhood with her hospitality. Olaf repeatedly plays up the children's whining and complaints, urging her to stay away since she's coming across as needy and lonely. When he finally says he'll ask them to come down, he doesn't even make the effort, instead eating a large portion of lamb and sending her off.

Mr. Snicket says that had Justice Strauss been able to get into the front door and see the children, perhaps the story would have turned out differently. But she didn't.

Answer: Pasta puttanesca

The children finish the list of chores in quick time before Count Olaf adds another task to their list; the orphans will need to make a large dinner for himself and his theatre troupe. They will need to make a menu, buy the food, make it, clean up, and stay out of the way. And in the meantime, he says, he will be in his Secret Tower Room which they are forbidden from entering. As he leaves, Violet suggests that they visit Justice Strauss' home library in case she has any cookbooks they can use.

When the kids ring the doorbell at Justice Strauss' house, the judge is initially unsure of how to treat them based on Count Olaf's description of their previous lifestyle, but when they ask for her help, she's more than willing to lend a hand. It's mostly law books in her library, as she says, but she has an entire section of cookbooks. The kids are thrilled, and as a result, Justice is excited.

When Klaus reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of debris from the fire at the Baudelaire mansion, he and Justice ponder as to what it is for a few moments before Violet finds the perfect dish-- pasta puttanesca.

Justice takes the children on the trolley, past Briny Beach, to the open-air market to do their shopping. She tells them how wonderful it is that they're cooking for Count Olaf and their new theatrical family; she always wanted to be an actor, but pursued the judiciary system instead. Nonetheless, she refers to their cooking as a 'mitzvah'-- in this case, meaning 'a blessing'.

Answer: Five

When the kids return to their new abode, they're surprised to see Count Olaf already there with his troupe. They're barely in the door before they perform a song and dance about the Count and how much he loves their bank account. He tries to make them applaud as well, of course, but their hands are full...and they're not really an audience. He also tells them that he's planning the greatest performance of his career which will affect his financial life quite a lot. He demands congratulations, a round of applause, and the delicious meal they promised.

The Baudelaire orphans get to work in the kitchen, fixing many of Count Olaf's broken appliances and pulling together an appetizing meal that they all feel would have made their parents proud. They are all noticeably happy and, more importantly, they feel like they could make this new place their home.

Of course, Count Olaf is in an adjacent room yelling for dinner and waxing poetic on acting.

Answer: Klaus

The Baudelaires serve their pasta puttanesca before Count Olaf asks where the roast beef is. Klaus reminds him that he never asked for roast beef, but it's too late. Olaf says that in agreeing to adopt them, he became their father, and as their father, they need to do what he says. Olaf takes Sunny from Violet's hands and holds her up above his head before placing her down on a platter and sliding her across the table. They are to clean the dishes, polish the silverware, and clean the wine bottles for recycling before going to their bed. When Klaus asks for another bed, Olaf urges them to buy one for themselves with their own money. Klaus reminds him again that no one can touch that money before he's met with a slap in the face. Of course, Olaf decide that that's the moment for himself and his troupe to leave.

The Baudelaires agree that Count Olaf's house is not better than nothing as they head to bed. It rains that night; it leaks through their ceiling.

Mr. Snicket says that being raised in a violent and sinister environment by a man who's more interested in one's fortune than comfort and well-being is not better than nothing.

In the library across the way, Justice Strauss reads a book about adoption law.

Elsewhere, two people ride in the back of an armored car, down a mysterious forest path to places unknown.