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Quiz about The Finest of Blackadder Insults

The Finest of 'Blackadder' Insults Quiz

Throughout his long and numerous lives, Edmund Blackadder found it very hard to think nicely about everything. Here is a quiz on some of those things. Feel free to use them at your will, and I'm sure you'll have hours of fun being rude to people. Enjoy!

A multiple-choice quiz by triviamonarche. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
triviamonarche

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
127,286

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Tough

Avg Score
5 / 10

Plays
2794

Last 3 plays: Guest 89 (7/10), Phillox (3/10), Guest 31 (6/10).

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. What is about as funny as 'getting an arrow through the neck and then discovering there was gas bill tied to it?' Hint

The theatre

George's drag act

A thingy shaped turnip

Charlie Chaplin's films

NEXT>

Question 2 of 10

2. Blackadder says that Baldrick and George's services would be 'as useful as a barber's shop on the steps of the guillotine'. What were they offering him their services in? Hint

Helping him organize a concert party

Helping him escape from the French

Helping him write a dictionary

Helping him escape from the firing squad

NEXT>

Question 3 of 10

3. To whom is Blackadder referring when he says 'the eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed'? Hint

Melchett

Baldrick

Percy

George

NEXT>

Question 4 of 10

4. Who called George 'thick as a whale omelette'? Hint

Blackadder

Dr Johnson

Baldrick

George himself

NEXT>

Question 5 of 10

5. Who are/is the 'biggest show off(s) since Lady Godiva entered the royal enclosure at Ascot claiming she had literally nothing to wear'? Hint

Walter Raleigh

The Flying Aces

The Scarlet Pimpernel

Actors

NEXT>

Question 6 of 10

6. Who has 'all the intellect of a jugged walrus and all the social graces of a potty'? Hint

General Melchett

Prince George

Captain Darling

Baldrick

NEXT>

Question 7 of 10

7. In what way is Baldrick's brain like the four-headed man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen? Hint

It doesn't exist

It doesn't have many bright ideas

It is seldom seen

It hasn't come up to the surface yet

NEXT>

Question 8 of 10

8. Which of these insults has Blackadder not used to describe Baldrick's performing skills? Hint

You have all the entertainment value of a tap-dancing oyster

In the Amazonian rainforest there are tribes of Indians as yet untouched by civilization that can do Charlie Chaplin better than you

You were the least convincing female impressionist since Tarzan went through Jane's handbag and ate her lipstick

You're the worst entertainer since St Paul the Evangelist toured Palestine with his trampoline act

9. When Blackadder tells Percy 'You are about as much use to me as a hole in the head, an affliction with which you must be familiar, never having had a brain.' What did Percy do to make him say this? Hint

He tells him about the famous blue stone of Galveston

He succeeds in making a metal called 'green'

Blackadder says it when he is firing him

He tells him he doesn't want to go on the voyage to the Sea of Certain Death

NEXT>

Question 10 of 10

10. What is 'about as impressive as Stumpy O'Leg McNoleg's personal best in the Market Harborough Marathon'? Hint

Prince George's many and various bright ideas

The amount of actual coffee at Mrs Miggins's coffee house

Melchett's war plans

Baldrick's family's record in the department of cunning planning

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Most Recent Scores

Dec 20 2024 : Guest 89: 7/10
Dec 05 2024 : Phillox: 3/10
Dec 03 2024 : Guest 31: 6/10
Dec 03 2024 : Guest 13: 8/10
Nov 24 2024 : Guest 82: 6/10
Nov 17 2024 : Guest 82: 5/10
Nov 04 2024 : Guest 83: 4/10
Oct 29 2024 : Slapdash360: 4/10

Score Distribution

Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. What is about as funny as 'getting an arrow through the neck and then discovering there was gas bill tied to it?'

Answer: Charlie Chaplin's films

After seeing Baldrick's Charlie Chaplin impression he sent Mr Chaplin this telegram. 'Congrats. Stop. Have discovered only person in world less funny than you. Stop. Name - Baldrick. Stop. PS. Please, please, please - stop.'

2. Blackadder says that Baldrick and George's services would be 'as useful as a barber's shop on the steps of the guillotine'. What were they offering him their services in?

Answer: Helping him write a dictionary

George said that 'a' didn't have a meaning, and Baldrick suggested a word that started with 'a b' was 'honey' (a bee). Blackadder soon gave up and tried to write the dictionary on his own.

3. To whom is Blackadder referring when he says 'the eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed'?

Answer: Percy

He informs him of this when he invents a precious metal called 'green'.

4. Who called George 'thick as a whale omelette'?

Answer: George himself

George sometimes insults himself in 'Blackadder III', no matter how proud he is. He has also referred to himself as a "mad, blundering, incredibly handsome young nincompoop" and, in 'Blackadder Goes Forth', "thicker than the large print version of the complete works of Charles Dickens". I have to say, he is pretty thick. Use the last one on your not-so-intellegent friends, as it's always very funny watching them trying to work out what you said.

5. Who are/is the 'biggest show off(s) since Lady Godiva entered the royal enclosure at Ascot claiming she had literally nothing to wear'?

Answer: The Flying Aces

Blackadder is the only person who is not impressed by them, though he still claims about their leader - 'Most of the infantry think he's a prat. Ask them who they'd prefer to meet - Squadron Commander Flashheart or the man who cleans out the public toilets in Aberdeen and they'd go for Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop every time.'

6. Who has 'all the intellect of a jugged walrus and all the social graces of a potty'?

Answer: Prince George

Having a master like this is one of the reasons Blackadder thinks of bettering himself.

7. In what way is Baldrick's brain like the four-headed man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen?

Answer: It doesn't exist

Blackadder enlightens Baldrick of this fact when he replies to 'our property will be forfeit and we'll be for the chop' with 'ooh, I love chops'.

8. Which of these insults has Blackadder not used to describe Baldrick's performing skills?

Answer: You were the least convincing female impressionist since Tarzan went through Jane's handbag and ate her lipstick

The Tarzan one was directed at George. He said the rainforest and trampoline ones about Baldrick's Charlie Chaplin impression, and the oyster one when he is singing 'There's a Tavern in the Town' whilst cutting heads off fish.

Answer: He tells him about the famous blue stone of Galveston

Percy says that the Infanta's eyes are more beautiful than the blue stone of Galveston. He has been told it is very blue by some people who have naver seen the Infanta's eyes, and Percy hasn't seen them either. 'So, what you're telling me is that something you have never seen is slightly less blue than something else you have never seen?' 'Yes my lord.' The above insult follows.

10. What is 'about as impressive as Stumpy O'Leg McNoleg's personal best in the Market Harborough Marathon'?

Answer: Baldrick's family's record in the department of cunning planning

He says this when Baldrick has a cunning plan to save the King which involves a pumpkin with a pathetic moustache drawn on it. Thanks to 'The Whole Damn Dynasty 1485-1917' (that's the book, not the quiz) and its index of 'Blackadder' insults that helped me write this quiz. I hope you enjoyed it, if not then 'you wouldn't know a joke if it got up and gave you a haircut'.

Source: Author triviamonarche

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor ladymacb29 before going online.
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