The Sad Life of a Couch Trivia Quiz

Answer: Barney and Friends

"Barney and Friends", which debuted in 1992, is one of my least favorite television shows. Barney might be funny if you are a kid, but when you are an old couch, the bouncing of children can be very hard on your springs. Many an old couch has had to see a couchropractor after an episode of this show, just to have their springs realigned.

Answer: All in the Family

The television program "All in the Family" was one of the most popular programs in the 1970s. It had such an impact on society that the two chairs of the main characters, Archie and Edith Bunker, were put on display at the Smithsonian Museum. I am sure the couch, easily seen throughout the show, would have worked just fine.

Answer: The Flying Nun

"The Flying Nun" (1967-1970) was about a young nun who, after becoming a nun, learned that she had the ability to fly. And I do not mean in an airplane or helicopter. The premise was that her cornette, a headpiece that was part of her habit and looked like the wings of a plane, allowed her to fly around without flapping her arms like a bird.

At this time most people only had one television and one couch. Being a couch at this time could mean five or six bottoms were occupying you at one time.

Answer: The Jerry Springer Show

"The Jerry Springer Show", which debuted in 1991, brought taboo subjects out into the open. Topics such as cross-dressing, incest, and zoophilia were explored. Being exposed to such topics was a very delicate matter for the couches of the world. I'm not sure what it says about our owners who sat glued to the set while the show was on.

Answer: The Simpsons

One of the most horrible shows ever put on the air has got to be "The Simpsons", which debuted in 1989. The couch gag can be defined as a series of events that leads up to this dysfunctional family converging on their living room couch to watch television.

Some of these events that are degrading to couches every where include the couch collapsing, the couch falling through the floor, and the couch falling over backwards. While the show does acknowledge the importance of the couch in daily family life, it never gives the couch the respect that it deserves.

Answer: Charmed

"Charmed" (1998-2006) was an ignorant show about four sisters who were good witches. Furniture in the house was constantly destroyed by a variety of demons, monsters and mythical beasts only to reappear completely fixed in the next sequence. We couches are not stupid, in contrast to popular opinion. Being forced to support the rear ends of those fans who avidly watched this show was considered a fate worse than the dump for those couches had to endure each episode.

Answer: American Idol

Sitting through episodes of "American Idol" has been forced on couches all over the U.S. Multiple episodes with terrible performers who think they can sing has damaged the hearing of couches everywhere. Supporting the butts of multiple people while listening to the sounds of screeching, yodeling, and moaning is nobody's idea of fun.

Answer: The Charmings

"The Charmings" was a horrible show based on the premise that Snow White and Prince Charming had been transported into modern day California. The costumes, the acting and the story-line were so bad that I was forced to see a psychiatrist who asked me to lay down on her couch. It was humiliating to say the least.

Answer: Trading Spaces

In every episode of "Trading Spaces", furniture, including couches, were thrown away to end up in the dump while newer younger furniture took its place. When will the world realise that couches get better with age? Why didn't the producers of this awful show realize that throwing out this center of family life is almost a sin? The rooms in this terrible television show lost their homeyness and their uniqueness.

They ended up looking like those plastic models seen on the front of magazines everywhere.

Answer: My Mother the Car

"My Mother the Car" ran for one season starting in 1965. At that time there were no remote controls which I could hide in my depths and prevent my owners from changing the channel to this awful show. The show was about an antique car that was the reincarnation of the new owner's mother. Dead mom spoke through the radio. If it sounds stupid, believe me, it was. C'mon... you could have been just as creative if you made a show called "My Cousin the Couch"!