The Ultimate SpongeBob SpongeBash Quiz

Answer: DJ Patchy

Patchy the Pirate first appeared in "Christmas Who?" in 2000 and has hosted every special since. The Ultimate SpongeBob SpongeBash's aim was to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the show, which premiered on July 17, 1999 with "Bubblestand/Ripped Pants" (although the pilot, "Help Wanted/Reef Blower/Tea at the Treedome" aired May 1, 1999, after the 12th annual Kids Choice Awards).

The Ultimate SpongeBob SpongeBash began on a Friday, July 17 2009 and lasted ten days. However, a decade earlier, the July 17 of 1999 was on a Saturday. Did you know that SpongeBob's character was based off Charlie Chaplin, Pee Wee Herman, and Jerry Lewis? In regards to the origins of SpongeBob and Patchy, I am about to reveal the best kind of trivia: The kind I'm sure virtually no one knows and cannot be found anywhere. I remember back in 1999, I was watching the episode of "CatDog" about Fred the Flying Fish, and a promo for the new as of yet unaired show could be seen in the lower right hand corner of the screen.

It featured SpongeBob floating upwards on top of a red balloon that read, "Five days!", referring to the fact that the show was to premiere in that amount of days. After a bit, the balloon popped, and SpongeBob flailed his arms frantically, but to no avail; he still fell, but thankfully not to his little yellow spongy doom! And what about Patchy's hand? How many people do you think know the origins of why he has a hook for a hand? Probably only a handful of people in the whole United States, or world for that matter. But this amount is about to skyrocket just from the people who took this quiz. For the answer aired once and never again, and only heard with the swiftest of brevity. During the "SpongeBob's House Party" marathon in 2002, the commercial breaks were filled with the now folded "Slime Time Live." Patchy played a "Swordfish tossing" game with host David Aizer. One of them mentioned how dangerous the game was, and said that someone could lose their hand. Dave Aizer asked Patchy, "Isn't that how you lost your hand?" and he responded that he didn't want to talk about it.

Answer: A hook in the eye

Just before the premiere of "Tentacle Vision", DJ Patchy said, "Take care not to stab the person next to you. Nothing ruins a party like a hook in the eye. Take it from me, I know." Nowadays, not only do we know how Patchy lost his hand, we also know how he lost his eye (Even though his eye patch is on the opposite eye from special to special, even within the same episodes!). During the marathon, DJ Patchy spun the record to make it sound like SpongeBob's laughter. "Didn't that warm your heart?"

Answer: "Karate Island"

The "Best Day Ever" marathon lasted for two days in early November, 2006. It was hosted, as usual, by Patchy the Pirate whilst on a ship in New York harbor. Because episodes were being aired 'round the clock and Tom Kenny, as Patchy, needed to sleep, he missed several episodes he otherwise would have spoken about beforehand.

At the climax of the marathon, "Karate Island" was voted the greatest episode of "SBSP" (out of the top 100) in history! ... It must be said, it just ain't so. "Karate Island" is not the best episode of "SpongeBob SquarePants" ever made. If you ask me, it does not belong even in the top 100.

The episode aired a mere six months before the marathon. As mentioned, less than three years later during the Ultimate SpongeBob SpongeBash, it did not even make the top ten.

However, almost all of the episodes picked were season 1 episodes, which is surprising considering the glut of great episodes from later seasons. I have a theory as to why this episode was chosen, and I am convinced it is true because it is the only thing that makes sense.

The character Master Udon was voiced by Pat Morita of "Karate Kid" fame. He died shortly after voicing this episode at the age of 73. At the end of the episode, there appeared a pictured dedication to him (1932-2005). I believe that the multitudes of fans voted this episode in simply to honor/in memoriam of him and nothing more. I am almost certain this is the case, for there is no other logical explanation for this lackluster episode obtaining the #1 spot with all the other great, loved, cherished, quoted episodes out there. Ironically, the dedication to Morita was removed from syndication after the "Best Day Ever" marathon in the United States. Whoever knows the reason has got to go public with it. However, no matter the reason, it was a very ignorant and disrespectful thing to do.

Answer: SpongeBob UnderPants

The first new episode to air during the marathon was "To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants", a play on Shakespeare. In the episode, SpongeBob shrinks his pants in the wash and goes to buy new ones. The store does not have any square pants in stock, so he has to settle on round pants. Patrick fails to recognize SpongeBob when he sees him, for he has it written down on his hand a bad drawing of SpongeBob and the words "square pants" written on his hand. Is he so dumb he needed that all along to remember who he was? At the end he takes off his pants at the behest of Mr. Krabs, only to be called "SpongeBob UnderPants" by Sandy Cheeks.

Answer: Poison Sea Urchins

The second new episode to air during the marathon was "Chum Caverns". The Chum Caverns are previously undiscovered caves beneath the grounds of the Chum Bucket as well as the Krusty Krab's and possibly beyond. They are simply stunning, a wondrous site to behold, and the citizens of Bikini Bottom can't get enough of them. Plankton opens up shop there, are the customers put up with his bad food for the atmosphere.

The monstrous, orangey creatures that inhabit the caverns are called Cave Dwellers. Plankton bosses them around by whipping them.

When everyone gets stuck in down there in the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs puts them to work as cashiers. The Cave Dwellers are highly comparable to the Morlocks from H.G. Wells' "The Time Machine", and it is quite possible that they were inspired by them.

Answer: nickel

The next new episode to air during the marathon was "Goo Goo Gas". What did old SpongeBob mean when he said, "I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel."? Even for a regular old guy, that wouldn't make sense. Did he mean, in his aged state, he remembered when a present day nickel was worth a quarter? Did the gas mess with his brain in addition to making him a senior citizen? The possibilities, while not endless, are many. Perhaps its just a funny quote that should not be overly analyzed.

After all, in Bikini Bottom, normal things don't happen very often. While presumably most fans saw "Goo Goo Gas" for the first time during the ever anticipated marathon, many more (myself included) saw it for the first time on either Nick.com (this was a rare episode they showed on their website in its entirety prior to premiering on TV) or on the "WhoBob WhatPants" DVD.

This episode will go down in history as the first to show Squidward as a baby. Every other main character transformed into a baby was already shown as a baby in a flashback during the events of at least one previous episode.

Answer: Top-Heavy

"No Hat for Pat" was new episode number four in the marathon. Patrick is angered when he sees SpongeBob wearing his Krusty Krab hat, because he knows that whenever he sees it on SpongeBob's head, it means he won't be available for play. Patrick becomes determined to get a job and his own hat. Mr. Krabs hires Patrick to stand outside and lure customers into the Krusty Krab.

But he points the sign in the wrong direction and misleads them. When Patrick is given his uniform hat, he begins falling down and entertaining/attracting customers. Mr. Krabs decides to capitalize on this. SpongeBob is appalled by the abuse and bodily harm Patrick endures so that his boss can make an easy buck.

In the end, Mr. Krabs fires Patrick when he fails to fall during his spectacular advertised event. Patrick discovered the reason he was falling was because of the hat, which made him top heavy. SpongeBob winds up allowing Patrick to wear his hat any time he pleases. So Patrick acquiesces, and he falls once more.

Answer: Squilliam Fancyson

An extremely similar episode to "I Heart Dancing", known as "Slimy Dancing", aired just shy of two years before it. SpongeBob is clearly shown moonwalking in "I Heart Dancing", which aired less than a month after Michael Jackson's death. Since this episode was almost certainly completed before the death, it is most likely a coincidence.

Answer: A cowboy boot with a spur

The next episode to air during the marathon was "Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy". The book Plankton read was a blue book titled "Texas Drawl". The author's name doesn't appear anywhere visibly, and whatever information Plankton read didn't seem to improve his faux accent any. I noticed this is one of the few episodes Squidward appears in, but doesn't say anything. Sandy makes Plankton pay a hefty price for his crime by sticking him in a jar of mustard and burning his one and only eye as punishment.

When the police come, she expects Plankton to be taken to the big house, but it is Sandy who is arrested instead- for public nudity.

Answer: Krabby Patties are Fum

The next new episode to air during the marathon: "Chum Bucket Supreme". It was very strange in this episode when Plankton didn't know who Patrick was; this is comparable to when Larry the Lobster didn't know who SpongeBob was (although my theory is that he was either just pretending or being sarcastic because he was annoyed with SpongeBob. Plankton sounded more serious, which is weird.)

Answer: Cole Slaw

New episode #8 to air during the marathon happened to be: The venerable "Growth Spout"! When Mr. Krabs broke into Squidward's house, the large banquet of sumptuous food presumably seemed more than plenty to satisfy growing Pearl. It didn't. Among the foods in Mr. Tentacles' home were Hanging Cured Meats, Exotic Spices, A bread box overflowing with baguettes... and lots of Yummy Stuff. One notable comestible from his fridge not mentioned in the question happened to be KELP slaw. Things in Bikini Bottom differ from the world above the surface.

When Mr. Krabs left Squidward's house with the food, his house said, "Oh well, I needed to lose a little weight anyway." You heard me right, I'm not crazy. Evidently, Squidward's house, in addition to being nosy (wanting to know Patrick's secret) has a weight problem as well. Later that night, Squidward confronted Mr. Krabs about his food thievery at SpongeBob's house.

It is unknown how he knew about it, since he was sleeping. We learned here that Mr. Krabs even stole his Smoked Kielbasa collection. Squidward wants Mr. Krabs to pay, so he calls the cops. Mr. Krabs threatened to fire Squidward if he goes through with it, but a threat of losing his dead-end job did not deter Squidward. Finally, Squidward agreed not to do it if Mr. Krabs gave up his gold tooth.

He reluctantly did. Neither Squidward nor SpongeBob knew he really had such a tooth. However, pulling it did not hurt Mr. Krabs, for those nerves died years prior. It is then SpongeBob gave the idea to Mr. Krabs that solved his and his daughter's problem.

Answer: 5:00 AM

The new episode that followed "Growth Spout" was, "Tentacle Vision". My, what an early riser Squidward can be to watch his horrible programming. Squidward's favorite channel is Bikini Bottom Public Access. The channel starts off saying, "Our programming will begin shortly." So Squidward answers, "No, no, no, take your time.

It's worth the wait." Finally, his show beings. It is called, "Fab and Fancy", and it is your source for the latest in exotic pets, collectible jewel encrusted mittens, and classical doorbell chimes. "How sophisticated.", chimes in Squidward, who becomes aghast to learn it has been canceled, and replaced with the less enriching "Zeus the Guitar Lord" show.

Answer: Chum Balaya

At the start of the episode, Plankton is loafing around eating Kelp Chips (which also would have made a good trivia question). A fish walks in with his young son. They are taking a tour of the most disgusting places in Bikini Bottom, and Plankton's restaurant made his list.

Their next stop just so happened to be the city dump. Plankton attempts to use a suction cup-like device to read Mr. Krabs' mind and get the formula. Karen launches Plankton at what she thinks is Mr. Krabs. Instead, it was a life sized cut out of him.

The fact that Chum Balaya was the item marked "New" on the Chum Bucket menu is oddly peculiar. Plankton mentioned Chum Balaya was the restaurant's special as far back as the early season one episode, "F.U.N.". Could it be that the menu item was taken off his menu, and then returned to it around the events of "The Inside Job"? Chum Balaya was marked "New" in "Greasy Buffoons" as well.

It is probably just a stock Chum Bucket menu used by the animators. Here's some trivia you didn't know: In the episode, Plankton says, "All the ingredients are coming together in perfect harmony!" Immediately after this episode's debut during the marathon, a commercial for Visa Debit aired. During the commercial, the narrator said, "When all the ingredients come together in perfect harmony and everything is just right...". Regarding this incident, I really have no comment. Was it just some really super cosmic coincidence, or was this planned? If the latter, that it could never be known in a million years what anyone planned to gain from that. One thing is certain, you won't find that bit of trivia anywhere in the world but this quiz.

Answer: Butter

We're getting close to the end of the marathon. The second to last new episode to air was the glorious: "Stuck in the Wringer". "Oh yeah! I saw ya! Not gonna fool me this time, soap!" After saying this, SpongeBob steps on a rubber duck and falls backwards, slips on the soap, and gets stuck in the wringer. Among all the things mentioned, Patrick also had Sun Block in his pocket. All of the various items Patrick had on him could have been used to lube SpongeBob out, but silly ol' Patrick uses Forever Glue on him, believing his best pal wanted to be stuck forever.

In the end, Patrick's tears melt the glue, and SpongeBob gets free. Wait a minute, even though Patrick made him much more stuck, I thought SpongeBob was already stuck before Patrick showed up! So how did he get out so easy after the glue melted? In any case, the wringer landed on top of Sponge and Pat and stuck them together.

At least they got to be together.

Answer: At the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs is seen in the Treedome for the first time

And the final brand spankin' new episode to premiere during the marathon: "Overbooked". Amazingly, Mr. Krabs appeared for the first time in Sandy's Treedome during the climax of the episode (something that never happened before, and has never happened since).

His Water Helmet was extra long for his long, crabby eyes. Tom's Toolery was closed for something called "Porpoise Day". Incidentally, Leif Erikson Day from "Bubble Buddy" is real. It was Patrick's birthday and SpongeBob attempted to give him a drill, and Mr. Krabs wanted SpongeBob to help him build a telescope.