Anything Goes Number Eleven Trivia Quiz

Answer: Bourbon or Whiskey

The question that is puzzling about bacon jam is why it wasn't called relish to begin with, when it really isn't a jam at all? But no, it's not confused - or is it?

Instead it originates in Wales and in Austria, with both nations claiming it as their invention first. The troublesome ingredient in many versions of this split personality jam/relish, which was either made first in Wales or Austria, and which makes it unsuitable for children, is that it contains either bourbon or Jack Daniel's - and people argue about that as well. Jack Daniel's is made almost the same as bourbon, and apparently has the same taste - but the manufacturers of this drink prefer to call it Tennessee Whiskey instead. Oh, and if you purchase a brand of this confusing product made by Martha Stewart, it contains coffee as well.

Answer: Human habitation

Lava tubes were formed on sloped areas of the moon after initial lava flows from volcanic activity had subsided and cooled into long hollowed out features of various length (up to 2 kilometres) and width (up to 350 metres). They were detected by lunar exploration when assorted circular areas on their external surfaces collapsed over time, leaving what is described as lunar skylights.

The most amazing thing about them, however, is that they have the potential, some time in the future, to be used for human habitation if and when humans begin to live on the moon. Because they are so solid, they also have the potential to protect humans from the extremes of temperature on the moon, and as a barrier against solar and cosmic radiation and impacts from meteorites and so forth.

Answer: Beer bugs

Picnic beetles are shiny and black, with splotches of red, yellow or orange on their back and sides. They're quite pretty in fact. These beetles definitely have a "sweet tooth" (they actually do have teeth), and their foods of choice include ripened fruit, sap, fruit juice and alcoholic beverages such as wine or beer. Such is their craving for alcoholic drinks, and their rush to toss it down, they often slip their footing and drown in the liquid - quite happily, one imagines.

Answer: Firing of a cannon

Foghorns, with the obvious purpose of warning ships of impending danger ahead during thick fogs at sea, have been known to man for hundreds of years.

Originally, navigational warnings included loud bells or gongs rung by frantic lighthouses keepers, but, over time, other methods were tried, including whistles, and, of all things, firing off cannons. The latter method was not only very labour intensive, it was also downright dangerous if a keeper fired off a warning in the wrong direction - and the ship sank anyway. Clockwork mechanics were also used at one time to set off striking bells, including those on ships. This had to be discarded as well when it was found that ships from Islamic countries, such as Turkey, forbade the use of ringing bells, because, at one time, the ringing of a bell in those countries signalled the call to prayer.

Onto the invention of the automated steam-powered foghorn by Robert Foulis, who later stated that he came up with that idea when he heard his daughter playing the piano one foggy night, and, realising that lower notes carried further and louder than the higher ones, developed his device accordingly. Other inventions included a coal-powered foghorn known as a Daboll Trumpet; another VERY loud siren with a large trumpet (which almost deafened everyone around); an underwater fog bell which vibrated against the hulls of ships; and a later electrical diaphragm powered by compressed air (ladies, don't get that one mixed up). And so onto the modern age when GPS systems and other technological navigational aids have rendered all those old foghorns obsolete, sending them plummeting down to Davy Jones' locker.

Answer: Platelets from the blood of the patient

Known officially as a "platelet-rich fibrin matrix" (PRFM for short), this macabre procedure extracts blood from a patient's arm, and then spins that fluid around in a centrifuge to extract the platelets, before injecting those back into the patient's face to plump out wrinkles and fine lines in the eternal pursuit of lost youth. It takes approximately one hour to carry out in an outpatient's department, and, in the US, costs some $900 to $1,500. The 2011 headline on an article in the New York Times describing this work read "Vampire Face Lifts: Smooth at First Bite". However, while the US Food and Drug Administration have certainly approved the platelet extraction centrifuge, they still had not, by 2011, approved its use as a facial rejuvenation.

Although a few plastic surgeons have sung the praises of this procedure - probably to the tune of "Money, Money, Money" - the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, in the same article cited above, "dismissed the procedure as "creepy", "a gimmick" and as "antiquated as bloodletting." PRFM is also used, believe it or not, to reinvigorate hair growth on balding heads, and to boost the rejuvenation of bone and blood tissue in dentistry. Oh my stars, a million times no!

Answer: A cake

Carol Channing (1921-2019) was a famous actress, comedian and singer known for her appearances in film and Broadway, for her broad smile, and for her husky singing voice. Two of her most well known roles were in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" (1949) and "Hello Dolly" (1964).

The sturdy culinary stage prop she sat upon for the opening of the hotel was five foot tall, and fortunately, Carol Channing, at five foot nine inches tall, was always quite slender. Otherwise the cake would have ended up as trifle.

Answer: Size of the thigh bone

The Tyrannosaurus rex, one of the most readily recognised theropods in various movies and literature, would seem to indicate it was a male because of the masculine "rex" (meaning "king") added to its name. This is discriminatory, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, for obviously there were both male and female of this species, and in fact, the best preserved sample of a Tyrannosaurus found up until the 21st century was female. That Tyrannosaurus regina has been called Sue after her discoverer, Sue Hendrickson. Dubious honour aside, female "Tyrannosaurusssssses" were also much larger in size than their male counterparts, particularly around their hips ("Rex my love, do my hips look big in this?") and their thigh bones included a tissue known as medullary bone which was accumulated when estrogen was released after ovulation.

(Actually, the plural of Tyrannosaurus is either Tyrannosauruses or Tyrannosaurus rexes - but perhaps the female T. rex should just be referred to as the Missus Saurus).

Answer: Fried mice

If that ghastly remedy worked, it was probably because the children were scared dry - or the family cat went on strike. Mice, however, have been eaten by man for millennia, so perhaps this was not as bad as it seems. Even today, in Zambia and Malawi, mice are regularly consumed for their protein content, and are considered quite a delicacy - and in Vietnam, field rats are also consumed as a matter of course.

Then too, harking back to World War II, when food was so scarce and people were so hungry in England, a serving of creamed mice quite often supplemented the evening meal. Oh yum, yum, you'd be squeaking with delight.

Answer: Victorian era craze for ferns everywhere

Ferns are beautiful, graceful, delicate plants that are usually green in colour, and flourish particularly well in wetter parts of the world, such as colder European countries or in rainforests of the southern hemisphere, but they can grow anywhere if looked after properly. They do not reproduce by seeds, unlike flowers, but by minute spores on each blade or frond which are then dispersed by the wind or by animals brushing up against them and carrying them elsewhere. There is even a plant known as the walking fern - but before you have "Day of the Triffids" nightmares, these ferns don't uproot themselves to chase after one, but the tiny spores on the end of the parent fronds drop off and take root where the fronds droop down gracefully to touch new ground.

During the Victorian era in England, pteridomania, otherwise known as fern fever, was a craze that swept the country, whereby people collected ferns from every nook and cranny for landscape purpose or decorating their parlours, or had images of them placed on household goods, such as pottery, vases and stationery. Thet even had delicate images of ferns, sorrowfully so, engraved upon gravestones. Oh, weep for such loss. It was a harmless hobby, with women in particular fond of excursions into the forests to find the latest samples - but could they be allowed to enjoy this without criticism? Not at all.

In his 1855 book "Glaucus, or the Wonders of the Shore", for example, Charles Kingsley, a rather chauvinistic writer of the day, described their hobby as women finding "enjoyment in it, and are more active, more cheerful, more self-forgetful over it, than they would have been over novels and gossip, crochet and Berlin-wool". Interestingly, his own headstone appears to be adorned with engraved flowers and delicate "greenery". Perhaps his female relatives ordered it so?

Answer: Urinates or defecates on their heads

Safely out of reach from their high perches in trees of course. Mantled howler monkeys live in groups of up to 40 members, and with ratios of three males for every ten females. Usually the dominant male in every group takes precedence over most things, with first choice of treats and females, but occasionally the youngest members of a group are given this preference instead. Interestingly, when both male and female juvenile monkeys reach breeding age, they are BOTH driven away from the group, cast out into the cold cold snow to fend for themselves. This ensures that inbreeding doesn't occur within any group.

The male mantled howlers have vocalisations that can be heard up to five kilometres away and this usually occurs at dawn and dusk just to let everyone know he and his group are there, or in response to any unrest. The females have loud vocalisations as well, but these are daintier in tone. But, naturally, my dear. The rather ladylike image of the female mantled howler is rather ruined, however, when she is ready to mate. When that occurs, she zeros in on the mate of her choice, and acts in a positively wanton manner, by flicking her tongue in and out and smacking her lips at him (I often have the same reaction whenever I see Colin Firth in "Pride and Prejudice") before turning around and - gasp! - showing him her bottom!

And, as for urinating or defecating on the heads of humans who annoy mantled howler monkeys? Well, one has to admire their cheek. So, a toast to the little howler monkey, folks - "Here's one in yer eye."