My Dog Ate This Quiz

Answer: All answers are correct

Interesting to see that in this age of technology the dog can still get the blame. I did come across some far more likely excuses concerning computers, which makes me wish they had been around in my school days.
If you have already used up the more acceptable excuses (my printer stopped working, the computer crashed or I accidental pressed the delete button), and are desperate for an excuse you could try saying "My dad's computer was hacked by the Russians and they stole my homework". However, be warned it's been used before and only your dog is likely to fall for that one.

These excuses, and many more can be found at http://www.richardpettinger.com/economics/best_excuses

Answer: I accidentally ingested some cocaine while kissing a woman at a nightclub

What an incredible thing to come up with, but it appears he could have been telling the truth.
Gasquet appealed to the International Tennis Federation's tribunal panel and they believed him. He was cleared to play after only a two and a half month ban.
It seems that Gasquet visited a nightclub in Miami after pulling out of the "Sony Ericsson Open" because of injury. It was here he met a woman, referred to as 'Pamela', and kissed her. The test was conducted the next day and the amount of cocaine found in his urine sample was described as being no more than "a grain of salt" and would have been negative if the test had taken place a couple of hours later.
The tribunal concluded that it was entirely possible, if 'Pamela' had been using cocaine, that Gasquet could have ingested some during their act of osculation.
However, Gasquet could face a life ban if he fails another drugs test. So let's hope he's a little more circumspect in who he kisses!

My source for this question and the full story can be found at http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/tennis/news/story?id=4329491

Answer: Covert military operative from Australia

You can't deny that this man, Marshall Cartwright, had a good imagination which may have had something to do with the 20 grams of psilocybin mushrooms found on his person.
He had purchased the beer keg, along with a tap, at a Pacific Avenue liquor store.
Cartwright's espionage kit also included two Mason jars, a wetsuit and a harmonica.
He was arrested by the police on suspicion of being drunk in public.

My source for this question and the full story can be found at http://www.mercurynews.com/saratoga/ci_10837899?nclick_check=1

Answer: Researching for a film role

Winona Ryder, caught in 2001 shoplifting at Saks and stealing $5,560 worth of goods, insisted her story of 'role researching' was true, however, the judge didn't believe her.

Tatum O'Neal claimed the 'Winona Ryder' defence, when accused of buying crack cocaine in Manhattan. Tatum later came clean when she was found to be carrying two bags of cocaine and a pipe.

It sends a shiver through my liver to think that Anthony Hopkins may have researched his role as Hannibal Lecter in "Silence Of The Lambs"!

My sources for this question and the full stories can be found at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winona_Ryder

http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSN0230770020080602

Answer: They all are

Can these really be for real? Or are they urban myths in the making?
Could someone possibly think it's not their fault for hitting a lamp-post because people were standing in front of it? More to the point, what happened to the people standing in front of the lamp-post?

I first heard some of these in the 80s when British comedian, Jasper Carrott, read what he claimed to be real insurance claims.

If you want to read more (and have a giggle) go to http://www.btinternet.com/~splyons/carinsurance.htm

Have you also noticed how it's never the driver's fault?

Answer: Dog

When arrested by the police, the lady claimed that "Her dog got into her purse and ate all her personal cheques". I wouldn't dream of suggesting she was fibbing but does this entitle one to raid one's former husband's bank account? Probably not. I suspect the lady in question will be looking at some detention.

My source for this question can be found at http://blogs.findlaw.com/blotter/2009/07/the-dummy-files-dog-ate-my-checkbook-no-smoking-allowed-etc.html#more

Answer: A porcupine ran onto the court and I tripped over it

I say supposedly because one can't believe everything one reads on the web. However, there is no doubt that Ellis violated his contract only a month after signing a six year extension with the 'Warriors'. Initially he claimed to have been playing 'pickup basketbal' at the time. However, his scrapes and cuts rather gave him away. Ellis did eventually come clean.

My source for the 'porcupine' came from http://bleacherreport.com/articles/218559-my-dog-ate-my-drug-test-the-stupidest-athlete-excuses-ever-given#page/4

For the full full story check out http://proathletesonly.com/news/locker-room/source-warriors-guard-monta-ellis-injured-in-moped-accident-last-month/

Answer: I didn't realise that my license had been suspended.

Paris Hilton had her license suspended for a drink driving offence in September 2006.
She was stopped for speeding and driving without headlights along Sunset Avenue in February 2007. She maintained that she had not realized her license had been suspended. However, she had been stopped in January and informed that she was driving on a suspended license, and asked to sign a document acknowledging that she was not allowed to drive.
In court Paris told the judge "I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything". Let's hope that includes turning her headlights on.

My source for this question comes from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6624223.stm

Answer: My dog was driving and he can't read the speedometer.

I had to say 'probably' because if there is one thing I have learned doing this quiz, anything is possible.

A California woman was caught doing almost a hundred miles an hour on a road in Canada. She claimed that she didn't understand metric. However, a hundred miles an hour is a hundred miles an hour, whatever you choose to measure it in! A better excuse might have been to say that she thought Canadians had different speed rules. She was fined $405 by the Canadian police. Source and full story at: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/sports/hockey/ottawasenators/Californian+caught+metric+speed+limit/1849757/story.html

The Hazleton (P.A.) borough highway police were out targeting drivers for not wearing seatbelts when they stopped a man for speeding and changing lanes without signalling. I suppose the driver could have claimed he needed the toilet but instead chose to say he was chasing a man who had stolen his phone and his drugs.

This was rather detrimental as he was not only arrested for reckless driving and not wearing a seatbelt, but also for the large quantity of illegal drugs found in his car.

Source and full story at http://www.timesleader.com/hazletontimes/news/Cops__Speeder_said_he_was_chasing_pot_thief_06-08-2009.html

Answer: Sorry I slept in.

"Sorry I slept in" is a common enough excuse but my source did mention that, in this particular case, the lesson missed was at 2pm.
The rest of the excuses have been used too.

One excuse I came across that I really liked, perhaps because of its complexity, was "...Sorry I don't think I'm going to make it. I was getting off the train when I realized I'd left my mobile phone on the train, so I got back on the train to pick it up. But before I could get off the train, it started going again, I tried to ask the guard to stop the train, but I couldn't find the guard. Then at the next stop I forgot to get off, so I think I'm heading towards London... So I don't think I'll make it today... sorry...".
My source for this question is once again to be found at http://www.richardpettinger.com/economics/best_excuses