Songs You Love to Hate - Volume 1 Quiz

Answer: Pontefract cakes

Ossett in West Yorkshire, UK, along with Batley, Morley and Dewsbury, was once at the centre of the 19th century "shoddy" industry: the recovery and recycling of wool fibre from clothing and rags. Ings Mill in Ossett is still involved with textile recycling.

The founder of the Cussons' soap company, the chemist Thomas Cussons, was from Ossett. Anyone else remember Cussons' Imperial Leather soap?

The Ossett brewers, Bob's Brewing Company (formerly Red Lion) and Ossett Brewery, are producers of some very tasty real ales.

Pontefract cakes, or "Yorkshire Pennies", are liquorice sweets (candy) associated with the nearby Yorkshire town of Pontefract. They are small round flat sweets made from boiled liquorice root, sugar and a thickening agent, and are stamped with an image of Pontefract Castle. The sweets have been around since the mid-17th century and were stamped by hand until the 1960s.

"Aga-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree
Aga-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee
To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees
Come and dance every night, sing with a hula melody"

The song isn't an original composition, but is a cover of the 1974 French song "Agadou". According a poll in Q Magazine in 2003, "Agadoo" is the worst song ever. It certainly gets my vote!

Answer: Twitchers

Twitchers (also known as "chasers" in North America) are birders who locate and observe rare birds, often those that may have arrived by chance in a particular locality.

Twitchers may record the bird's song and play it back on their home sound systems which have tweeters and woofers (loudspeakers producing high and low frequency sounds respectively).

Are twitchers also crackers? Some might maintain that they are definitely barking mad, but just remember that it takes all sorts to make a world full of interest!

"The Birdie Song" must be one of the few lyricless Dotty Ditties to manage maximum "Aaaargh!" factor. According to a BBC poll in 2000, it was voted the most irritating song ever. Get on the dance floor and flap your elbows, folks. It certainly gets my vote!

Answer: Norway, Sweden and Denmark

Scandinavia is a loose term that can be applied to any of the answer choices, but the strictest definition of the term refers to the monarchies of Norway, Sweden and Denmark.

If one thinks of Scandinavia as meaning the Nordic Countries (that is, countries who are members of the Nordic Council) then that would include all of the listed countries as well as the autonomous regions of the Faroe Islands and the Aaland Islands.

"I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party"

A "Rolling Stone" poll in 2007 voted "Barbie Girl" one of the five most annoying songs. It certainly gets my vote!

Answer: Saccharin

Saccharin, or 1,1-dioxo-1,2-benzothiazol-3-1 to give its proper chemical name (remember that, class - you'll be tested on it later!), was first produced in 1878 at Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, USA; it is the oldest artificial sweetener.

It is approximately 300 times sweeter than sucrose (sugar) and has no food energy value (calories); its European Union additive code ("E number") is E954.

OK, class, what was that name again? Let's say it all together: one-one-dye-oxo-one-two-benzo-thigh-azol-three-own. Excellent!

"Sugar, ah honey honey
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
Honey, ah sugar sugar
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you
(I just can't believe it's true)
I just can't believe the one to love this feeling to.
(I just can't believe it's true)"

The Archies are probably the only band with a number one hit that never toured together, appeared together, or gave interviews together: the song was accompanied by an animated cartoon band.

"Sugar Sugar" has been covered by Sakkarin (yes, really!), Tom Jones, Bob Marley, and Ike & Tina Turner. Hmmm...

Answer: Madonna lily

Lilium candidum, the beautiful Madonna lily, is a plant of the Liliaceae family; and the many species of Tulip also belong to the Liliaceae family. Madonna lilies are associated with Mary the mother of Jesus (hence the name) and have been cultivated for thousands of years. Garden tulips are associated with the Netherlands but probably have their origins in plants brought to Western Europe from Turkey and adjacent regions in the 16th century.

The Lenten Lily is another name for the daffodil or narcissus, the many species of which belong to the Amaryllis family (Amaryllidaceae).

The Jersey Lily or Belladonna Lily, Amaryllis belladonna, belongs to the Amaryllis family. The Edwardian actress Lily Langtry was also known as the Jersey Lily and, although in possession of two lips, was most definitely not related to the tulip.

Most water lilies belong to the Nymphaeaceae family.

"When it's Spring again I'll bring again
Tulips from Amsterdam
With a heart thats true I'll give to you
Tulips from Amsterdam
I can't wait until the day you fill
These eager arms of mine
Like the windmill keeps on turning
That's how my heart keeps on yearning
For the day I know we can share these
Tulips from Amsterdam"

Ad nauseam... It's the relentless repetition of this sole verse that grates on the nerves.

Answer: An early celebrity hair stylist

The heroic story of the biblical strong man Samson, which can be found in the Book of Judges, took place at a time when the Philistines were giving the Israelites a lot of trouble. Having taken up with Delilah and informing her that the secret of his great strength lay in his hair, Samson was eventually betrayed by her to the Philistines after she had arranged for him to have a severe haircut.

The name Delilah has come to be associated in song and literature with betrayal.

"My my my Delilah,
Why why why Delilah,
So before they come to break down the door,
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more."

Sir Thomas Jones Woodward, OBE (that's Tom Jones to you and me) sang this ballad of the murderous end of a relationship with great feeling and power, but its subsequent adoption by soccer fans spoiled it forever in my opinion.

Answer: Sung without instrumental accompaniment

The musical term "a cappella" carries the meaning of "from the chapel" or "in the manner of the chapel", that is, a vocal piece not accompanied by instruments.

Gregorian Chant is an example of traditional a cappella, as are early unaccompanied madrigals; the Jewish and Muslim faiths also have a tradition of a cappella music. Modern a cappella includes such diverse forms as Barbershop, Doo-wop and Beatboxing, and the term is now used to mean any unaccompanied vocal piece including those where the human voice is used to imitate musical instruments.

The lyrics of "Gaudete" probably originate in the Middle Ages, but the first known publication of the song was in the volume of sacred songs entitled "Piae Cantones" in 1582. The chorus (below) translates as "Rejoice! Rejoice! Christ is born of the Virgin Mary: rejoice!"

"Gaudete! Gaudete! Christus est natus
Ex Maria Virgine: gaudete!"

While I have no quarrel with the beauty of the words, the excessively nasal tone of Steeleye Span's rendering put this one high on my Irritation List.

Answer: Samuel Houston

The city of Houston is named after Samuel (Sam) Houston (1763-1863) who, although from Virginia, is associated in most minds with Texas. Like many prominent figures, the life of this soldier and statesman had its ups and downs.

Following the death of his father, the family moved to Tennessee where Houston eventually became Governor. He was twice President of the Republic of Texas, then Senator and finally Governor of the state after it joined the United States, leaving office when Texas seceded from the Union in 1861.

Adopted by the Cherokees, wounded several times in battle, married three times, and friend of President Andrew Jackson, Sam Houston died in Huntsville, Texas, on 26th July 1863.

An excellent biographical chronology may be found on the website of The Sam Houston Memorial Museum.

John Houstoun (c1747-1796) was twice Governor of Georgia. A Revolutionary statesman and soldier, the County of Houston, Georgia is named after him. Not to be confused with John Huston the film director!

The Canadian born character actor Walter Huston (1884-1950) won the 1948 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his role in the film for which most people remember him: "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre", directed by his son, John Huston. The family association with the movies continues with his grandchildren, Anjelica Huston (actress) and Danny Huston (director).

"Aye-yiy-yiy-yiy-yiy-yiy, yiy, yiy,
Will always love
You hooo-hooo-ooo-ooo-ooo, hooo, hooo..."

Did I miss out anything? Probably! Whitney Houston's overphrasing of Dolly's lovely tune has to be a contender for the "How Many Syllables in a One-Syllable Word" Award.

Answer: Aristophanes and Stephen Sondheim

Stephen Sondheim's minor work "The Frogs" is based on the play of the same name by the ancient Greek dramatist Aristophanes (c456-c386 BC). The Sondheim version had its premier at Yale University Swimming Pool in 1974; part of the production actually took place in the pool itself.

The plot of Aristophanes' play centres around the comical misadventures of the god Dionysus who, despairing of the poor standard of "modern" Greek drama, journeys to Hades to bring back one of the decent (but deceased) "classical" playwrights.

Fans of Gilbert and Sullivan will doubtless remember the line from Major-General Stanley's patter song in "The Pirates of Penzance"... "I know the Croaking Chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes".

"The Crazy Frog" was released to promote a Belgian ring-tone company, and reached number one in several countries' charts; it has its origins in a 1997 Swedish amateur recording that was relayed via the internet. The unhinged batrachian has spawned (pardon the pun) many merchandising and musical spin-offs, including a track called "Kill The Frog". That's the one that gets my vote!

Answer: An amazingly accurate replica of something

"Spitting image" is usually said of a person (for example, "You're the spitting image of your ma!") and means an exact likeness of someone or something.

As with many phrases, its derivation is uncertain. Is it a contraction of "spirit and image"? Does it refer to a kind of mirror image ("splitting image"), such as the pattern of the grain on two halves of a split log? There are also the phrases "spitten image", "spit and image", "the dead spit of", and similar in other languages, going back to about the 17th century. Take your choice!

Now, I'm off to...

"Ho-old ... a ... chicken in the air;
Stick a deckchair up your nose;
Buy a jumbo jet
And then bury all your clothes!
Paint your left knee green
Then extract your wisdom teeth;
Form a string quartet
And pretend your name is Keith!"

(with apologies to anyone called Keith - I actually quite like the name!)

Thank you for surviving this quiz: your courage and fortitude deserve a medal. Your opinion of these songs may differ from mine, but that's life! If you have any remaining undamaged brain cells, please feel free to scream and leave the building. Suggestions for candidates for inclusion in future volumes are most welcome.