"I Never Cheered for my Father" Quiz

Answer: snout and pawprints

While Jack's cooking, Will is cleaning the windows. He says, "Look at that. Each pane cleaner than the last." Jack says, "Yeah. A boy and his rag. There's nothing sweeter." Will then says, "Well, with Grace out of town for a couple of days, it gives me a chance to get her snout and paw prints off of every surface."

Answer: girlfriend

Will told Jack that Tina was coming over and Jack asks, "Tina? Your father's mistress?" Will replies, "Well, technically, she's not his mistress anymore. I mean, now that my folks have broken up, she's really just his girlfriend."

Answer: the cheerleading team

When Karen told Jack that Elliot was on the phone, Jack didn't want to talk to him. Karen tells Elliot that they were figure skating and Jack plunged through the ice. When she asks if she can take a message, Jack hears her say, "You're trying out for the cheerleading squad?" Jack then runs and grabs the phone from her and says, "Brr, I'm back!"

Answer: Yes

Tina informs Will that she thinks his father is cheating on her. Will asks, "What makes you think he's seeing someone?" She replies, "Oh, he's just been distracted. He's always sneaking off somewhere. And lately, every time we try to make love, he's tired. And I'm sexual." Will says, "I really don't need to know that." Tina says, "Will you talk to him? Find out if it's true. Please? I have no one else to go to. I'd go to my girlfriends, but I've slept with all their husbands."

Answer: Frozen

When Jack is preparing to help Elliot get ready for tryouts, he says, "So what are your guidelines? I was thinking of making you all up in Kabuki like Madonna in her 'Frozen' video." Elliot replies, "Right, well, I was thinking a simple cheer and dressed as a guy is probably a better way to go. My locker's very small."

Answer: Yes

Will goes to his dad's apartment door, knocks on it and says, "Dad, it's Will. Can we talk for a sec? Dad, I know you're home. Look, I don't care that you're with someone. You're single. You can do what you want. You're Ben Affleck right now. Only without all the extra breakup weight. So, look, whoever you're with in there, it's fine by me. I just want to say that as far as..." Will's mother then opens the door and says 'hello'. Will says, "Mom! What's going on? Where's Dad?" He enters the apartment and she tells that his father is in the shower. Will then says, "You're the other woman? You're the one that Dad's sneaking around with? You and Dad are, you know, 'thinging'?" Will's mother says, "Will, we're adults. Let's talk like adults. Your father and I are making 'pookie-pookie'.

A few months ago, I ran into your father, and we decided to have a drink. Oh, it was fun. He made me laugh. We caught up, and, you know, one thing led to another and before I knew it..." Will says, "You don't have to finish that." She replies, "Pookie-pookie."

Answer: Wolverines

When Jack, Karen and Elliot enter the gym, the cheerleaders are chanting, "Go, Wolverines, Go! Go, Wolverines, Go!"

Answer: give him a manicure

Elliot told Jack that the only reason he joined the cheerleading squad was because he wanted Jack to pay attention to him. Jack tells him he didn't know it meant that much to him and Elliot says, "Why do you think I call you every Friday night to come to my basketball games? You know what? Forget it. You can't understand." Jack says, "No. I do. I do understand. My dad did the same thing to me.

When I was a kid, I set up a little manicure stand at the end of my street. I did a pretty good business with a couple neighbor ladies and the divorcees from the next town over.

But the only customer I ever really wanted was my dad. Every day, I'd watch him come home from work, and I pray that he'd stop. But he never did. And I'd think to myself, 'Why? What kind of man doesn't want a roadside manicure from his own son?' I can't believe I repeated that cycle with you." Elliot says, "Well, you did. I'd let you give me a manicure." Jack then says, "You're the best. Thanks, Elliot. And I promise I'll start coming to your basketball games. And I'll say to everyone, 'That's my son, the one whose nails match his jersey!' Elliot says, "Yeah. You don't need to say that to everyone."

Answer: Marilyn

When Tina and Marilyn finally meet, Tina says, "Hi, Marilyn. We finally meet. Though I've seen pictures of you when I removed them from your ex-husband's wallet." Marilyn responds, "Well, I must say, you're almost exactly as I imagined you. You're like page four in the 'Midlife Crisis' catalog."

Answer: Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Will doesn't think his mother and Tina should 'share' his dad, so he tells his mom that she's going back to him no matter what. After Will leaves, his mother says to Tina, "We're not gonna listen to him, are we?" Tina says, "No, the three of us had a great thing going." Marilyn says, "So I'll take George Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays." Tina then says, "And I'll keep him on the weekends. We'll give him Tuesdays and Thursdays to rest."