I Think Not, Therefore I Am Not Quiz

Answer: Tom Cruise

What do you mean? Of course I'm Tom Cruise! Oh wait...I'm not. You see, Tom Cruise acted in several movies from the 1980s onwards and you'd recognize him from "Mission Impossible" (1996), "The Last Samurai" (2003), and "War of the Worlds" (2005). If you're not one for movies, you may also remember the time he went on Oprah to profess his love for actress Katie Holmes.

They married in 2006 and divorced six years later. He became a Scientologist in the 1990s and, at one time, was the highest-paid actor in the world. I'll let you know now, I haven't done any of these things. Even if, for a time, I think I drove a car in "Days of Thunder", that was him and not me.

Answer: Zooey Deschanel

Starting in a number of modest roles, Zooey Deschanel eventually hit it big in "Elf" (2003) and her roles took a boost from there. Usually wide-eyed and bubbly, Deschanel became a poster child for a wave of hipster culture in the early 2010s. She has since appeared in "Yes Man" (2008), "(500) Days of Summer" (2009), and the FOX TV show "New Girl".

She's also one part of the musical duo She & Him. Their song "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" was perhaps the most popular early single. Her sister, Emily Deschanel, starred on FOX TV's "Bones". By now you probably realize by my talking in the third-person that I am not Zooey Deschanel. I am not a new girl. Never hurts to dream.

Answer: Ryan Seacrest

Oh, that's right-- I'm not Ryan Seacrest. If I were, I'd know it.
Ryan Seacrest started as the host of "American Idol" in its debut season (where he co-hosted with Brian Dunkleman) and returned annually to announce the results and bring the contestants onstage. Aside from "Idol" he also hosted his own short-lived daytime talkshow ("On-Air with Ryan Seacrest", the same name as his radio show) and he's done the "American Top 40" since the departure of Casey Kasem. After the passing of Dick Clark, he also hosted "New Year's Rockin' Eve" in Times Square.

Answer: Quentin Tarantino

See, for a second there I thought I was Tarantino, but then I realized I don't have a thing for feet, Uma Thurman, or spaghetti westerns. I must've just been confused. In fact, all of the movies listed in the question were directed by Tarantino; "Pulp Fiction" won the Palme d'Or at Cannes in 1994.

He appeared as characters in all three movies and several of his others. Several of his movies are Oscar-nominated and he frequently creates movies in very distinct styles reminiscent of earlier modes and genres. "Death Proof", for instance, was meant to be in a grindhouse style while "Jackie Brown" (1997) was meant to mimic blaxploitation cinema.

Answer: Hank Azaria

Hank Azaria has appeared in a number of movies in person (and also in the TV show "Friends") but he is definitely best-known for several important supporting voices on the animated TV show "The Simpsons". You may know him better as Apu, the clerk at the Kwik-E-Mart; Moe, the bartender; Comic Book Guy; Police Chief Clancy Wiggum; the list goes on and on.

He won Emmy Awards several times over for "The Simpsons" and starred on the short-lived Showtime drama "Huff". But there's one giveaway-- I can't sound like other people. Hank Azaria has the ability to mimic voices quite easily. I mustn't be him.

Answer: Leslie Nielsen

On second thought, I couldn't be Leslie Nielsen; he passed away in 2010 after spending most of his life acting in films. Although he's best known for the slapstick comedies of the latter half of his career, Nielsen was also known for serious roles in dramas and horror films early on. Besides adding to an extensive filmography, Nielsen was also an avid golfer and charity worker. He was born in Canada.
You'd know he didn't like to be called Shirley if you'd watched "Airplane!" He was also mistaken for fake opera singer Enrico Pallazzo in "The Naked Gun".

Answer: Michael Ian Black

A man of too many things -- I couldn't be Michael Ian Black. After all, I can't update my Twitter account all that often. Michael Ian Black has appeared in several different ventures. Aside from works in several U.S. ad campaigns for different products, he was also an actor in "Stella", "The State", and "Michael & Michael Have Issues" with "Stella" co-star Michael Showalter.

He's written non-fiction and childrens' books and he's been a major figure in "Celebrity Poker Showdown", he heads some podcasts (including "Mike and Tom Eat Snacks"), and he does stand-up comedy. On top of this, he created WitStream, a Twitter offshoot for comedians.

He does it all.

Answer: Milla Jovovich

Milla Jovovich is perhaps best known as Alice, the mysterious zombie-fighter from Paul W. S. Anderson's "Resident Evil" film series (based on the video games). This director is also who she happened to marry. Aside from this series, she also starred in "The Fifth Element" (1997), "Ultraviolet" (2006), and "The Fourth Kind" (2009).

In addition, she has had careers in the fashion industry and in music. She was born in Kiev, Ukraine. For a second there, I almost thought I was Milla but, alas, I am not her. I can't speak much more than English.

She can speak the Divine Language of the future and stop the world from being destroyed.

Answer: Tyra Banks

Although Tyra started her career as a supermodel her later years in fashion allowed her to venture into other branches of the entertainment industry. She started hosting "America's Next Top Model" in 2003 and then hosted "The Tyra Banks Show" for five years (ending in 2010). In addition, she created her own music single, "Shake Ya Body", starred in several movies and TV shows, and has written books about fashion.
I'm definitely not her-- even if I think so for a brief moment-- because I'm simply not 'fierce' enough.

Answer: Jerry Springer

I'm definitely not Jerry, but perhaps my conflict with thinking I'm his double would be good fodder for an episode of his show.
"The Jerry Springer Show" was originally envisioned as a daytime TV forum for people with serious problems but as the years passed, the show degenerated into a series of fights, illegitimate relationships, transgendered surprises, and audience insults. Deemed 'The Worst Show on TV', it started airing in 1991. Over a decade before this, Springer was also the Mayor of Cincinnati. His tenure in office ended after a year.