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Bad Poetry Trivia Quiz

Below are some really terrible poems which I've written. Can you identify whom or what they're supposed to be about?

A multiple-choice quiz by Islingtonian. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
Islingtonian

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
102,794

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
8 / 10

Plays
4912

Awards
Top 20% Quiz

Last 3 plays: Guest 137 (9/10), stephedm (9/10), woodychandler (9/10).

Question 1 of 10

1. "Oh, great land of desert and shrimp.
Continent of sand in an azure sea.
Uluru rises from your scarlet earth.
Breaching your heavens like a rock blancmange.
Your emerald trees, your sharp-toothed rivers.
Creatures with outsized feet and bulbous heads.
Would that I could surf your waves
Until the end of time."

Answer: (One Word (a country))

NEXT>

Question 2 of 10

2. "We watched you from the age of three,
You taught us at our mother's knee
Letters, language, pictures, words
Music, ethics, giant birds
The world's rich potpourri thou Learnest
Under the wings of Bert and Ernest"

Answer: (Two Words (a television programme))

NEXT>

Question 3 of 10

3. "Whirring.
Chopping.
Transforming base legumes into a perfect melange.
Your flex a helix.
Your blades of sparkling steel.
Reminding me that I must never
Ever
Forget the safety guard." Hint

A food processor

A tractor

A lathe

A loom

NEXT>

Question 4 of 10

4. "Tell me
Oh, blue-suited heroes
What beneficent hand guided your strings?
Were they a metaphor for the Almighty
Or were you merely puppets?
Five ... four ... three ... two ... one ...
Then you were "Go"
And now you are gone."
Hint

Space 1999

Star Wars

The Muppet Show

Thunderbirds

NEXT>

Question 5 of 10

5. "Waves with mighty troughs and peaks
Extinct birds with strange hooked beaks
Two other oceans are greater by far
But they will never have Madagascar." Hint

The Atlantic Ocean

The Arctic Ocean

The Indian Ocean

The Pacific Ocean

NEXT>

Question 6 of 10

6. "Lamp in the Crimean dark
Caring uniform in an uncaring world
Gently tending the ungentle
Ready to soothe
Any suffering soul
With voice of honey
And an industrial strength bandage
Now your lamp has gone out
How shall we ever find our way again?"

Answer: (Two Words (a name) or surname only)

NEXT>

Question 7 of 10

7. "Hark.
What sound is this?
Piercing the iron silence
Of an October morning.
Beware miscreants.
For the sons of Robert Peel approach.
And the gauntlet of justice
bears down upon thee.
Woooh

Woooh

Woooh."
Hint

A cat fight

Liza Minnelli

A police siren

An air raid warning

NEXT>

Question 8 of 10

8. "Alone will I wash the floors
Alone shall I clear the gutters
Alone shall I dim the lamps at night
Alone will I close the shutters
And after the yellow children leave
Alone shall I sweep the room
A Caledonian groundsman
With his Caledonian broom."
Hint

Carl Carlson

Krusty the Clown

Comic Book Guy

Groundskeeper Willie

NEXT>

Question 9 of 10

9. "Odysseus of a stellar age.
The stars but steps in your great quest.
Your captain's journal turns a page
The galaxy parts at your behest
Space is barren, wide and airless.
The sum of all of mankind's fears.
But how your leader, brave and hairless
faces aliens with pointy ears.
Grim and serious, sharp and true
Great dangers must your actors face
Your writers humour they eschew
For there is no laughter in space." Hint

Babylon 5

Lost in Space

Star Wars

Star Trek

NEXT>

Question 10 of 10

10. "Mystical art
Arrangement of lines
combination of meter
with rhythms and rhymes
Eliot, Shakespeare,
Betjeman, Hughes
Sometimes your words rhyme
And sometimes they don't."
Hint

Dance

Drama

Poetry

Music

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Most Recent Scores

Dec 14 2024 : Guest 137: 9/10
Dec 03 2024 : stephedm: 9/10
Nov 23 2024 : woodychandler: 9/10
Nov 21 2024 : Guest 90: 7/10
Nov 03 2024 : nikkitem: 9/10
Nov 02 2024 : Guest 175: 7/10

Score Distribution

Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. "Oh, great land of desert and shrimp. Continent of sand in an azure sea. Uluru rises from your scarlet earth. Breaching your heavens like a rock blancmange. Your emerald trees, your sharp-toothed rivers. Creatures with outsized feet and bulbous heads. Would that I could surf your waves Until the end of time."

Answer: Australia

I call this poem simply "Australia". I presented it to a poetry conference in Sydney a couple of years ago, just before they revoked my visa.

2. "We watched you from the age of three, You taught us at our mother's knee Letters, language, pictures, words Music, ethics, giant birds The world's rich potpourri thou Learnest Under the wings of Bert and Ernest"

Answer: Sesame Street

Little poetry has been published on the subject of "Sesame Street". I suspect the above is unlikely to change that.

3. "Whirring. Chopping. Transforming base legumes into a perfect melange. Your flex a helix. Your blades of sparkling steel. Reminding me that I must never Ever Forget the safety guard."

Answer: A food processor

Critics have described my "Ode to a Moulinex" as over-worthy and pretentious. On the other hand, some critics enjoyed the "Charlie's Angels" movie, so you never can tell.

4. "Tell me Oh, blue-suited heroes What beneficent hand guided your strings? Were they a metaphor for the Almighty Or were you merely puppets? Five ... four ... three ... two ... one ... Then you were "Go" And now you are gone."

Answer: Thunderbirds

I'm sure if Shakespeare were alive today, he would have written a poem about "Thunderbirds".

5. "Waves with mighty troughs and peaks Extinct birds with strange hooked beaks Two other oceans are greater by far But they will never have Madagascar."

Answer: The Indian Ocean

The Indian Ocean is the third largest ocean, after the Pacific and the Atlantic, but before the Arctic (which everyone forgets about - that gives me another idea for a poem ...)

6. "Lamp in the Crimean dark Caring uniform in an uncaring world Gently tending the ungentle Ready to soothe Any suffering soul With voice of honey And an industrial strength bandage Now your lamp has gone out How shall we ever find our way again?"

Answer: Florence Nightingale

From "Iodine of the Gods", my tribute to the Crimean nurse.

7. "Hark. What sound is this? Piercing the iron silence Of an October morning. Beware miscreants. For the sons of Robert Peel approach. And the gauntlet of justice bears down upon thee. Woooh Woooh Woooh."

Answer: A police siren

E.E. Cummings eat your heart out. I call this "The Sound of Sirens", and I've actually had an offer of publication for it. Admittedly it was from "Rubbish Poetry Monthly", but you have to start somewhere.

8. "Alone will I wash the floors Alone shall I clear the gutters Alone shall I dim the lamps at night Alone will I close the shutters And after the yellow children leave Alone shall I sweep the room A Caledonian groundsman With his Caledonian broom."

Answer: Groundskeeper Willie

Travel Tip: If you're visiting Scotland, why not pop into a local pub and entertain the locals by mimicking their accent (somewhere between Groundskeeper Willie out of "The Simpsons" and Scotty out of "Star Trek should do the trick). It's bound to go down well.

9. "Odysseus of a stellar age. The stars but steps in your great quest. Your captain's journal turns a page The galaxy parts at your behest Space is barren, wide and airless. The sum of all of mankind's fears. But how your leader, brave and hairless faces aliens with pointy ears. Grim and serious, sharp and true Great dangers must your actors face Your writers humour they eschew For there is no laughter in space."

Answer: Star Trek

I'm probably being unfair about there being no humour in "Star Trek". Some of Captain Kirk's speeches were a laugh riot.

10. "Mystical art Arrangement of lines combination of meter with rhythms and rhymes Eliot, Shakespeare, Betjeman, Hughes Sometimes your words rhyme And sometimes they don't."

Answer: Poetry

All that poetry was rubbish, I hear you say. But just you wait until I'm Poet Laureate.

Source: Author Islingtonian

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor magpie8 before going online.
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