A Potted History of the Toilet et al Quiz

Answer: Creates a seal that prevents sewer gas from passing back into the household

The modern flush toilet is both an engineering masterpiece and simplicity in design. Body waste is deposited into a non-porous bowl, essentially gravity-fed water flushes the waste into a sewerage line which takes it to a plant for treatment into harmless constituents.

The water in the bowl, held in place by its initial inability to move over the 'hump' in the "S-bend", prevents smells and odour, potentially toxic, from impinging into the household.

Answer: Ducking under the covers

Growing up I was always told that using the word toilet when needing to leave the table was impolite. Hence alternatives needed to be found. "Men's room" or "little boy's room" became acceptable uses at the table (go figure) though we had not heard of this place called the "water closet". Trouble is, the first time I mentioned "splashing the boots" at the kitchen table also got me in strife.

Ducking under the covers is another way of saying "I'm going to bed".

Answer: A non-flush toilet built at or above water level

A flying toilet is simply a plastic bag which, when filled with excrement, is discarded. So called because when filled, you threw away the bag as far as you could.
A pig toilet is where the toilet is connected to a pig-sty and the animals eat the excrement. This is still used in parts of Asia. A similar mechanism is the fish pond toilet which acts in a similar mechanism with pond fish such as carp eating the excrement.
The floating toilet is built above the water line to avoid contamination. Waste is collected into a tank and the contents are buried when the tank is full. Still used in Cambodia and in rural Asia which are subject to flooding. In New Zealand it means the outlet pipe is on the wall not the floor.

Answer: Brazilian toilet

A squat toilet is a toilet at floor level where one squats rather than sits. The toilet may flush or it may be dry. Squat toilets are common in many Asian and African countries and those with Muslim or Hindu populations, particularly those cultures which also practise anal cleansing with water.

Answer: Chinese

A document attributed to a Chinese scholar in 589 AD quotes 'Paper on which there are quotations or commentaries from the Five Classics or the names of sages, I dare not use for toilet purposes'. In the Ming Dynasty, toilet paper was mass-produced, and high officials of the realm even had their ablutory accessories perfumed.

There are a couple of very important questions related to modern toilet paper:

1) Are you a 'folder' or a 'scruncher'?
2) Does the paper hang over or under the roll dispenser?

I am sure that numerous government grants have been given to get to the bottom of these two stumpers!

Answer: He removed the handle off the well which contained fecally contaminated water

Because of poor sanitation, in particular lack of sewage facilities, John Snow deduced that one area's water supply was contaminated with fecal matter and hence infectious agents such as the Cholera bacillus. By removing the handle from the well, this forced residents to use another well which thankfully did not have a contaminated water supply.

The outbreak spread no further. Dr Snow's work was a turning point in public health and indeed the need for increased sanitation afforded by flush toilets.

Answer: To trot

Word of warning: Bidet humour is more refined than toilet humour, or so they tell me. The bidet is an apparatus for washing genitalia that was invented back in the seventeenth century. It was given the name meaning "to trot" with idea that one has to "ride" a bidet in much the same way that one would also ride a pony. Now you can understand how bidet humour is so much more refined. I wonder if that's where phrase "got the trots" (Diarrhoea/diarrhea) originated from... sorry, resorting to toilet humour now.

Answer: Built in bidet

Urine needs to be physically diverted or chemically treated to ensure compost is made aerobically (Anaerobic conditions are what causes odour and disease transmission issues). Similarly ventilation is needed to ensure aerobic conditions. Also access to manufactured compost needs to be via alternative access to the waste deposition area.

Answer: Pit latrine

To set up a pit latrine usually involves the digging of a deep hole (hence "long drop") with a seat/squat arrangements set above. They're generally used as emergency sanitation pits or and are best associated with hiking trails and/or camping sites. They are designed to provide many years of service and are usually kept away from streams that provide drinking water.

Some are provided with ventilation facilities which assist in keeping the flies away. These are known as (wait for it) VIPs or Ventilation Improved Pit latrines.

Answer: True

Toilet humour consists of off-colour jokes, sayings and one-liners that delve into the excretion of human waste products, flatulence (who doesn't love a good fart joke) and, occasionally, vomiting. If you think that this is only a modern day creation, think again. Geoffrey Chaucer was not backward in using toilet humour in his most famous work "The Canterbury Tales" (published 1387).

Seriously, the modern flush toilet has saved millions of lives through the reduction of infectious diseases that come from contact with human waste.