Be Careful What You Ask For Trivia Quiz

Answer: A boater

What are you going to be wearing on your head? Hopefully you didn't ask for a whole smoked herring, otherwise known as a bloater. If you asked for a boa, you'd get a feathery scarf, or if you were unlucky a large snake. A bowler is at least a hat, but is more suitable for a city banker than an oarsman.

Answer: A blazer

Are you going to look the part? A blouson is a short, loose jacket that is tight at the waist, and not quite the thing for a river excursion. Better that than a brazier, which is a metal framework used as a container for burning solid fuel, and would not make a comfortable jacket. And a brassiere is an undergarment for women.

Answer: A pair of espadrilles

What's on your feet? If you asked for espressos, it will be a couple of tiny cups of very strong coffee. Escargots are snails, usually cooked with garlic butter, which could be dangerously slippery on board a boat. An espalier is a sort of trellis for training fruit trees, which sounds like a painful footwear choice.

Answer: A hamper

What will you be attempting to stuff your picnic into? Will it be small, cute, furry rodent known as a hamster? Or will it be a large building designed for storing aircraft - a hangar would certainly hold a lot of food, but there might be some logistical problems involved in getting it on the boat. Or perhaps you chose a hanger, a shoulder shaped frame with a hook at the top for hanging clothes on. If you asked for a few more you might be able to fashion some sort of basket out of them.

Answer: A baguette

What's on the menu? A bagel is a sort of bread at least, but it's ring shaped rather than long, and will only really be big enough for one person. A bassinet is a crib for babies, and bagatelle is a billiards-based table game, a predecessor of pinball. Neither of which are very appetising.

Answer: A truckle

Did you end up with cheese? If you asked for a tickle, perhaps the shop assistant pulled out a feather and stroked you lightly with it to make you laugh. Or did you ask for a tackle, and find yourself being wrestled to the floor as if you were playing rugby or American football? Or perhaps you got a thin stream of liquid, a trickle.

Answer: A magnum

Will your meal be accompanied by a bottle of something nice? Or by a noisy black and white bird of the crow family, known as a magpie? Better that than a squirming little maggot, the larva of a fly (unless of course you plan to go fishing from the boat, in which case you could use it as bait). If you asked for a magnet, then you'll have a very useful piece of metal which is attracted to iron.

Not very refreshing though.

Answer: A parasol

What will you be attempting to protect yourself from the sun with? A paratha is an Indian flatbread, which might do the trick if it was big enough. A parasite is an organism that lives on and feeds off another organism, like a flea or a louse. A paramour is an illicit lover, who probably has more of a tendency to heat things up than to cool them down.

Answer: A mackintosh

Will you stay dry? Not if you're wearing a fish, which is what a mackerel is, though if you've got a bloater on your head it would make a matching set. A macadamia is a nut, indigenous to Australia and very tasty, but not known for its water repellent properties. A macaw is a long-tailed brightly coloured bird who would probably fly into a tree at the first drop of rain.

Answer: An antihistamine

A good vocabulary is not something to be sneezed at! An antiviral won't be of any help for your hayfever, as it's a medicine which is only useful for treating diseases caused by viruses, such as influenza. An antimacassar would be difficult to swallow, as it's a small covering used to protect the backs or arms of seats. An antiquity is an item from the distant past, so even if it was an ancient Greek antihistamine it would be way past its expiry date.