"Nightwatch" by Terry Pratchett Quiz

Answer: Jocasta Wiggs

She finishes up in 'the old cesspit behind the gardener's shed', treading water. 'Well...treading,anyway'. All the incorrect answers are, or were, also Assassins in Discworld.

Answer: We can't make der words rhyme prop'ly!'

Naturally it finishes with a sound off, which goes 'One! Two!' 'Many, lots!' 'Er..what?'. But beware of thinking Detritus is thick! In the cold he is one shrewd troll!

Answer: Calcite

As Carrot explains to Vimes, it's all right because young Calcite likes beating up trolls too. Carrot rather bewilderingly sees this as 'a step foward'. Vimes isn't too sure...

Answer: The Ravens

That's what living around the magical atmosphere of Unseen University will do to you! Turn you into a couch raven? Or, given where the ravens sit, a gargoyle potato? All the incorrect answers also look over, or after, the city in their own peculiar ways...

Answer: A parrot-headed umbrella

The ladies of Ankh Morpork are no shrinking violets! All the above answers have been used to inflict a world of hurt on anyone stupid enough to cross them.

Answer: The beer bottle

'Some bugger always tosses one over the wall on his way back from the pub on a Friday night'. It really gets on Sweeper's 'thungas'. The cigarette packet 'invokes the element of air', the cat doings remind us 'that disharmony, like a cat, gets everywhere' and the used sonky (and cabbage stalks) tell us not to forget 'the role of the organic in the total harmony'. I wonder what the used burger boxes that turn up on my car mean?

Answer: The safe had still been there, on the same combination, when Vimes became Captain of the Night Watch

In case you haven't read the book, it concerns time travel, and Vimes 'remembers' the number from the future. Also, no one knows how to change it and all that's worth keeping there are 'tea and sugar and anything you particularly wanted Nobby to read.'

Answer: Henry the Hamster

Strangely enough, despite the signature, Vimes asks for some ID as well... Henry the Hamster finishes up with a broken arm and 'John Keel' signs the cast. Hamish the Hamster is my hamster, who wanted to be in a quiz...

Answer: Sconner and Maisie

Nobby was actually an abused - well, I suppose we must say 'child', as in later times he carries a paper to prove he's human. In 'Nightwatch' he's just an urchin, 'spiky, slimy amd smelling slightly of rotting seaweed'.

Answer: They both burst

The short answer of 'He burst' from Dr Lawn curbs Vimes' natural inquisitiveness. This question is for my friend who always tries to tempt me into eating a 'wafer-thin mint'...

Answer: What's the Orbital Velocity of the Moon?

There are no details in how the Watch plan to use the ginger beer, but if your imagination's boggling, may I suggest reading Joseph Wambaugh's excellent 'Lines and Shadows', where the (no-doubt similar) Coca-Cola method of extracting information is given in excruciating detail...

Answer: The intricately painted fingernails

Vimes notices her accent, her hair, her eyes and her dress. Madam points out her nails, but tells Vimes if he's trying to guess her weight she won't help him! Oh, those Ankh Morpork ladies!

Answer: By feeling the streets through his boots

Vimes can 'read' the streets through his cardboard thin boots, like Braille. Of course, when he marries Sybil, he's got expensive boots, but he's always liable to look for the thin soles when times get tough!

Answer: The People

This is a very true and interesting passage. Those who are 'on the side of The People always ended up disappointed' because 'The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient'.

Answer: Billy Wiglet

You've heard of people being 'eyeballed' haven't you? Well, Billy was too short to eyeball... Nancyball, on the other hand, was the first man in the squad to know when it rained.

Answer: 'We Shall Overcome!'

Reg starts off with 'Death to the Fascist Opressors', but some of the company object...When Reg bastardises Nathan Hale's famous line, of course Vimes thinks 'If you only knew'. Spoiler...Reg doesn't stay buried for long...

Answer: True

When it gets returned to him by the History Monks, 'Vimes no longer felt like a drifting ship'.

Answer: The National Anthem

The snatch quoted finishes up '...Morporkia, Morporkia, Morpooroorooorooooorrroorrr-' and, as the captain points out patiently to Hepplewhite, is in fact 'the national anthem sung very badly'. 'All the Little Angels' is a very different song.

Answer: No

Nancyball did, but although Young Sam was in an extremely shocked state, you can see he's going to become the man he does (with a little help from 'John Keel' of course.)

Answer: soap

Vimes advises him to remember the word, but as in later life Nobby can do party tricks with his pimples, I think he must have forgotten!

Answer: Someone's ear

Carcer is one of the nastiest villians ever to appear in a 'Discworld' book. Nobby, however, is delighted with the ear - 'still warm' - that's kids for you!

Answer: Big Mary

It would have been disaster, but for Vimes, a couple of mallets, wooden wedges and two-pennyworth of fresh ginger. You just really don't want to know where Vimes put the ginger!

Answer: Horace Nancyball

Poor Nancyball gets hit in the chest by a grappling hook. Billy Wiglet desperately takes him to the Doctor but Vimes knows he's beyond help.

Answer: Walk

As Vimes points out with an exhausted beam he's 'good at teaching people to walk!'

Answer: John Keel

This quiz is dedicated to John Keel, Billy Wiglet, Horace Nancyball, Dai Dickins, Cecil 'Snouty' Clapman, Ned Coates and Reg Shoe. Hope you enjoyed it!