Bawdy Ballads Trivia Quiz

Answer: Comin' Thro' the Rye

By Robert Burns. Not a bawdy song, you say? Check out the original lyrics, and you'll change your mind! Let's just say it wasn't kissing that the lad and lassie were up to out there in the rye grass. Many of Burns's songs, in their original versions, are not only bawdy, but downright pornographic. If he were alive today, Burns might well be working for Larry Flynt.

By the way, "Comin' Thro' the Rye" is a good example a bawdy song that has been bowdlerized for general use. I remember babysitting my six-year-old niece and watching "Barney and Friends," when the children began singing a song called "Do Your Ears Hang Low?" I was shocked, because I knew the original song had referred not to "ears," but to a pair of organs unique to the masculine gender.

Answer: Didn't She Ramble

From Oscar Brand's album, "Every Inch a Sailor." One of my favorite songs, it tells the story of a professional lady on the island of Guam, who takes on the Pacific fleet - with fatal results.

Answer: Zuleika

A classic theme of bawdy songs is an old man who marries a young woman, and who goes to great lengths to preserve her chastity, always unsuccessfully and often with comic results. "Well, the most of you stay / Zuleika did say / But the children and camels must go."

Answer: Barnacle Bill the Sailor

"It's only me from over the sea / Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor." One of the first filthy songs I ever learned. This piece is well-known throughout the English-speaking world. You can hear Fred B. Ward sing it in the movie "Henry and June."

Answer: The Jolly Tinker

"A passing tinker undertook and promised her most fairly / With a knick-knack-knock and a thump-thump-thump, he'd do her business rarely." From the singing of Ed McCurdy, whose album "When Dalliance Was in Flower (And Maidens Lost Their Heads)" is a classic. Tinkers were itinerant tinsmiths who roved from town to town, repairing pots, kettles, etc.

They seem to figure in more bawdy songs than any other profession, except sailors.

Answer: The Bastard King of England

"God bless the Bastard King of England!" This little epic concerns itself with the rivalry between the Kings of England and France. Rumor has it that it was written by no other than Rudyard Kipling, and its authorship kept him from being named Poet Laureate. Kipling denied he wrote it.

Answer: A-Rovin'

Songs about sailors being taken advantage of by ladies of the evening have a basis in fact. Sailors were often drugged, robbed and even murdered by prostitutes in the 1800's. In our song, the hero escapes with only the loss of his watch, ring and money. "A-rovin', a-rovin', since roving's been my ruin / I'll go no more a-rovin with you fair maid." You can hear a version of this song in the 1956 movie, "Moby Dick."

Answer: Yarmouth Town

Yet another song about a sailor! I don't understand why there are so many, because during my eight years in the Navy I kept myself pure in mind, body, and spirit, eschewing strong drink and women of questionable morals. This a very rollicking song, and has been recorded many times, recently by Great Big Sea. I don't know if the Yarmouth referred to in the song is the one in Nova Scotia, Maine, Massachusetts or England.

Answer: The Limerick Rake

"Agus fagaimid siud mar a ta se." Which translates something like, "We'll say no more about that." This actually not too bawdy, except by Irish standards. It tells the story of a young man who would rather drink and chase women than farm or devote his time to scholarly pursuits. Well, wouldn't we all?

Answer: The Plenipotentiary

This song was allegedly written by an Irishman named Captain Morris around the year 1790. This song is so bawdy I cannot print any of the lyrics here, and urge you not to look it up in Jerry Silverman's "The Dirty Song Book," where the words and music for many of the songs in this quiz may be found, along with numerous others. Also please do not listen to Oscar Brand's "Bawdy Songs and Backroom Ballads," a seven album set of music which is the finest reference work in this genre. If you disregard this advice, you may find yourself humming one of these off-color tunes at an inappropriate moment.