Big, Bad Breakfast Trivia Quiz

Answer: Squeeze

What a way to start the day but, if I was thirty five years younger, I would have been tempted to have started with The Replacements and their song "Beer For Breakfast". These days though coffee... no milk, no sugar... is about as bad as I get.

A coffee cup stain on Chris Difford's notebook is said to be the inspiration behind the opening line ("There's a stain on my notebook / Where your coffee cup was") of this sublime break-up song by The Squeeze, which represents one of the rare highlights on their fifth studio album "Sweets From a Stranger" (1982). Glen Tilbrook created a wistful melody for the song which beautifully complimented Difford's words of loss and regret. In a state of delightful chemistry the backing vocals, provided by Elvis Costello and Paul Young, were (in Tilbrook's words) "the icing on the cake".

Answer: Streetband

Toast, it is such an easy starter for breakfast while you're waiting for the coffee to kick in and set your synapses on fire. You simply plonk it in the toaster and wait for it to pop up. That's if you've remembered to plug the toaster in.

It's hard to believe that the man who was chosen by Bob Geldof to sing the opening line of the Band Aid charity classic, "Do They Know It's Christmas", the man who gave us such beguiling soul in "Wherever I Lay My Hat", Paul Young, was, at one time, the lead singer of the band that brought us this ridiculous novelty song called "Toast". To be fair to the song it was a hit and it was a bit of a joyous romp but, in the end, what made it a hit also proved to be the undoing of the band. Streetband would release two albums ("Dilemma" and "London"), both in 1979, but, thanks to "Toast", they struggled to gain any credibility. The song was the b-side to their first single "Hold On" and, with its mostly spoken lyric, could be seen as an early attempt at rap. It probably would have faded into obscurity if it wasn't championed by Kenny Everett who kept playing it on his Capitol Radio Show. Paul Young and two other members would pick up the pieces with their next venture as The Q-Tips.

Answer: Bobby Goldsboro

The temptation was to go with ABBA and their hit from 1974 "Honey Honey" or even "Lady Marmalade" from LaBelle in the same year but neither sounded like a proper ingredient. Suddenly I'm having visions of "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" from "The Game of Thrones" and the line "he licked the honey all up in her hair" and I've lost the taste of honey.

This song was written by Bobby Russell, who would also write "Little Green Apples" and "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia", and was initially given to the Kingston Trio to record. Sales moved slowly so Russell allowed Goldsboro to release it and it took off. It was number one on the Billboard charts in the US for five weeks and would end up being one of the biggest selling singles of 1968. Originally titled "Pledge of Love" the song deals with a departed lover, in this case a wife... and that's about all the good things I can say about it. This song will have its defenders, I accept that, but for me it's a dose of sentimentality mixed with a little too much saccharine and a set of lyrics that fail to hold their own weight. I think I should stop now.

Answer: Placebo

OK, so the toast and honey is a fail and I turn to the next easy option - a bowl of cereal. In the background I can hear Herman's Hermits warbling "No Milk Today" and suddenly there's this kind of hush in my world.

This is a long way from being a song of praise for the Kellogg's cereal designed for the weight conscious. This is a track that many people feel is one that narrates the journey of a drug addict and it is an easy conclusion to draw when one considers that the song's title is also a street name for the drug Ketamine. However, Brian Molko, the band's lead singer and principal songwriter, in an interview with Melody Maker (October, 2000) describes it as a love song where he endeavours to explore the "rush of falling in love with the rush of coming up on drugs". The track is the band's third single to be released from their 2000 album "Black Market Music".

Answer: Mother Goose

When all else fails, reach for a trusty can of baked beans, that'll put some wind in the sails.

Mother Goose burst onto the scene in New Zealand in 1975 and then travelled across the ditch to Australia where their single "Baked Beans" took the country by storm. Their album "Stuffed" soon followed and it quickly became Mushroom Records fastest selling album. Their self directed film clip for the single became one of the "must see" clips of the year, so much so, that it was played by television stations in the country in between prime time shows. Their national tour would break attendance records at almost every venue they appeared at. The song itself was pure novelty and was built around the premise that the beans were the perfect tool for fostering romance. Despite the terrible lyrics I tip my hat up to the boys for managing to steer well clear of any flatulence jokes (unlike this author).

Answer: Peter Sarstedt

Oh dear (again) it looks like another case of the "Orange Juice Blues". I just wanted something sweet to take the lingering taste of the beans away but it's been that sort of start to the day and I had left the juice in the freezer overnight.

Sarstedt was born in India and moved to England in 1954 (age 13). He would form a skiffle band with his two brothers before they turned their attention to rock and roll. Separately they had a series of hits in the UK between 1961 and 1976. Peter is probably best known for his international hit "Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)?" which topped the charts in 14 countries and would see Sarstedt awarded the 1969 Ivor Novello Award jointly with David Bowie. "Frozen Orange Juice" became the follow up single giving its British audience another glimpse into a life of sophistication and Sarstedt another Top Ten UK single.

Answer: Jack Johnson

It was dawning (no pun intended) on me that if I really wanted a big bad breakfast I would need to do some serious cooking. Hey Harry, Harry Chapin, I'm going to need about "Thirty Thousand Pounds of Bananas".

There is an old adage that says "if it ain't broke, why fix it" and Johnson clearly adheres to this principle on his third album "In Between Dreams" (2005) in which we find "Banana Pancakes". You get that same mellow drift tinged with sweet seduction and casual commentary that was prevalent on his previous recordings. "Banana Pancakes" is, primarily, a love song, written by Steven Harang, that Johnson blesses with only his laid back voice and an acoustic guitar. He is trying to convince his significant other that they should spend their day avoiding their responsibilities and simply losing themselves in each other.

Answer: The Electric Six

The thought of French bacon sounded both mouth-watering and exotic until I Googled it and found that it was called lardon in France and it was, basically, small strips of subcutaneous fat. Sarcastically I thanked Olivia Newton-John as she bellowed "Heart Attack" from my radio.

The Electric Six are a Detroit outfit whose music contains a mixture of punk, new wave, disco and metal. They came to prominence in 2003 with the release of their single "Danger! High Voltage" and then built on that success with the rollicking single "Gay Bar". "French Bacon", which appears on the band's eighth studio album "Heartbeats and Brainwaves", continues their exploration of songs about loneliness though, on this occasion, not in the most pleasant of manners. Lead singer Dick Valentine certainly doesn't live up to his surname as he wails about lost love in a chorus that conjures up images of solitary death in a country ditch.

Answer: Tom Waits

Now how shall I have my eggs? The Beatles inspired "Scrambled Eggs", which was the working title for their song "Yesterday" or Steel Magnolia's suggestion of "Eggs Over Easy". Certainly I'm not having the "Omelette From Outer Space" as Adam and the Ants suggested.

The alternate title for this Tom Waits' track is "Eggs and Sausage (In a Cadillac with Susan Michelson)" and it appears on his third album "Nighthawks at the Diner". Coincidentally the opening line of this track is also the name of the album. "Nighthawks" was recorded live which, at the time, was considered an unusual approach for someone so early in their career. This was done deliberately to accentuate the jazz qualities within Tom's work. The move (eventually) paid off. Whilst the early critical response to the album was tepid, time has been kind to it and it is now rated as one of Waits' finest works and has been listed in the book "1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die".

Answer: Bob Dylan

I am the egg-man
I have no frying pan
Koo koo ka-choo. with apologies to The Beatles).
To heck with the big bad breakfast I think I'll settle for just another cup of coffee.

"One More Cup of Coffee" is one of Bob Dylan's most expressive tracks. It tells of a tale of abandonment, unreciprocated love and the charged atmosphere between a gypsy woman and her powerful father. Lyrics laced with mysticism complimented by Dylan's distinctive voice and Scarlet Rivera's evocative violin give the song a haunting aspect, however, the glue that brings it all together is the angelic voice of Emmylou Harris who provides the stirring backing vocals.