The Light at the End of the Tunnel... Quiz

Answer: My Grandfather's Clock

'My Grandfather's Clock' was written by the American songwriter Henry Clay Work. The HMHB version in 'Joy Division Oven Gloves' is as follows: 'My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf / So I sold it and opened up a stall / Selling Joy Division oven gloves.' (They do the same with 'If I Were a Rich Man' in the middle of 'Paintball's Coming Home', with the line 'If I were a linesman, I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides.')

Answer: 2 Scotch eggs

As well as the Scotch eggs and the Marmite, he also purchases ten KitKats, a motoring atlas, and a blues CD on the Hallmark label (which is sure to be good). Even if he did originally only want to buy a tube of Pringles.

Answer: Sealclubbing

Haliborange is a make of chewable vitamin tablets aimed at children, named for their orange flavouring. The verse is as follows:

'Frank was going through a stage of depression in his bedroom,
When he reached out for the jar;
He swallowed every last pill and he lay back on his duvet,
A Haliborange overdose is perhaps not the right way
To, ooh, to kill yourself.'

Answer: Wools

A bit of explanation is required here. Generally speaking, 'wool', in Scouse slang, means someone from Lancashire or Cheshire or, more generally, anyone who is not from Liverpool (though people from the Wirral are also sometimes derided as 'plazzies', or 'plastic Scousers').

It is short for 'woollyback'. Origins of this name are uncertain, but it is thought to have come from Lancashire miners' practice of wearing sheep's wool to pad their backs whilst schlepping coal.

Answer: Some Call It Godcore

The full title of this song is 'Even Men with Steel Hearts Love to See a Dog on the Pitch'. The presence of a dog on a football pitch 'generates a warmth around the ground, that augurs well for mankind'. One HMHB fan has made a video on Youtube for this song, which features various dogs running onto football pitches (and the odd cricket pitch too).

'Some Call It Godcore' was the band's fifth album and was released in 1995. Other tracks include 'Tour Jacket with Detachable Sleeves', 'Sponsoring the Moshpits', and 'Styx Gig (Seen By My Mates Coming Out of A)'.

Answer: Writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro

From 'Back Again in the DHSS', the band's second album. (The other answers are references to 'Joy Division Oven Gloves', 'The Len Ganley Stance', and 'This Leaden Pall'.) And yes, that is my foot in the photo.

Answer: German shepherd

The couple also had one called Sheba, but it died.

Answer: Zest

More specifically, Z is for 'the zest with which we approach our work; without this zest for the game, we wouldn't become refs. And without refs, well...zero.' There's also 'Zatopek' (Emil Zatopek, a Czech athlete), 'Zeus' (presumably the Greek god), and 'Zeal Monachorum' (a village in Devon).

Answer: David Wainwright's Feet

'Corns and blisters, bunions and warts, David Wainwright's all out of sorts.' David Wainwright's terrible feet are the result of buying trainers that are too small for him. Laura Morgan, by contrast, takes care of her feet.

'Colours Are Brighter' was made to raise money for Children In Need. The other answers are all songs from the album. 'The Monkeys Are Breaking Out the Zoo' is by Belle & Sebastian, 'Jackie Jackson' is by Franz Ferdinand, and 'Go Go Ninja Dinosaur' is by Four Tet and Princess Watermelon.

Answer: Echo and the Bunnymen

The line is as follows:

'Oh darling, sugar, honey,
When it was nice and sunny,
And when I had some money,
We would go and see Echo and the Bunny-
Men.'

Singer Ian McCulloch and guitarist Will Sergeant are the founding members of Echo and the Bunnymen, along with bassist Les Pattinson, who left in 1998.