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Gimme That Old Time Religion Trivia Quiz

There are a lot of faiths out there. So, tongue held firmly in cheek, I offer a quiz about really old time religions. The quotations preceding each question are not original with me, but most have no known author.

A multiple-choice quiz by Correspondguy. Estimated time: 9 mins.

Author
Correspondguy

Time
9 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
320,363

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
15

Difficulty
Tough

Avg Score
9 / 15

Plays
1322

Awards
Top 20% Quiz

Last 3 plays: lance23 (10/15), Luckycharm60 (15/15), LauraMcC (8/15).

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 15

1. "We will pray with Aphrodite,
We will pray with Aphrodite,
She wears that see-through nightie,
And it's good enough for me."

Aphrodite is the Goddess of Beauty, Love, and Sexual Desire. Given those areas of responsibility, it should come as no shock that she should have an R-Rated origin. What was it? Hint

She was produced when Zeus masturbated over the earth.

She's born from the mating of the sky and the earth.

She's a result of foam gathering about a set of severed genitals.

She's the child of incest between two gorgeous twins.

NEXT>

Question 2 of 15

2. "We will pray with Zarathustra,
We'll pray just like we use ta,
I'm a Zarathustra booster,
And it's good enough for me."

Traditionally, Zoroastrians have a problem with dead bodies, since they believe that air, earth, fire, and water are all sacred elements. What did they do with their dead? Hint

They burned them, but apologized a lot.

They exposed them for scavenger birds to eat.

They dug tombs in solid rock.

They practiced ritual cannibalism.

NEXT>

Question 3 of 15

3. "We will pray with those Egyptians,
Build pyramids to put our crypts in,
Cover subways with inscriptions,
And it's good enough for me."

While we're on the subject of dead people, most people know that the ancient Egyptians mummified their dead. In Egyptian mummification, most of the internal organs were removed and placed in Canopic jars. What organ was removed, but discarded as being unnecessary? Hint

The Brain.

The Liver.

The Heart.

The Kidneys.

NEXT>

Question 4 of 15

4. "We will pray with those old druids,
They drink fermented fluids,
Waltzing naked though the woo-ids,
And it's good enough for me."

We honestly don't know a lot about Druids, because the Romans actively suppressed them and a lot of their stuff was secret anyway. Of the little we know, we know that they considered a particular plant, now associated with Christmas, sacred. What's the plant? Hint

Poinsettia.

Cedar Trees.

Fir Trees.

Mistletoe.

NEXT>

Question 5 of 15

5. "We will pray to the god Buddha,
Of gods there is none cuter,
In silver, brass or pewter,
He's good enough for me."

In early 2001, the Taliban destroyed two statues of Buddha because they had determined that the statues were forbidden by sharia law. The statues, which had been carved directly into the sandstone cliff, were 180 and 121 feet high. Approximately how old were the statues? Hint

750 years

1000 years

1500 years

2000 years

NEXT>

Question 6 of 15

6. "Hare Krishna he must laugh on,
To see me dressed in saffron,
With my hair only half-on
He's good enough for me."

What famous rock band's members made references to Hare Krishna in several of their songs, both before and after the band broke up? Hint

The Beatles.

The Rolling Stones.

Talking Heads.

The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.

NEXT>

Question 7 of 15

7. "I'll arise at early morning
When the sun gives me the warning
That the solar age is dawning
And that's good enough for me"

There are a lot of sun gods. Not surprising, given its prominence in the sky. Ancient cultures, once they decided there was a God of the Sun, had to explain how it moved across the sky. Which of these was NOT a fairly well accepted method for the Sun to cross? ("NOT" meaning that it was not a common idea). Hint

It was pulled across by ropes.

It was carried by a boat.

It rode in a chariot.

It spun on a wheel.

NEXT>

Question 8 of 15

8. "We will pray to good ol' Kali
To embrace her would be folly
She'd be quite an armful - Golly!
But she's good enough for me."

Kali is a complex deity, and rather than ask about her other aspects, I'll go for the cheap question. Kali's portrayals show her with more arms than humans have. There are two versions. In one, Kali has ten arms. In the other, how many arms does she have? Hint

Five.

Eight.

Four.

Six.

NEXT>

Question 9 of 15

9. "Let us sacrifice to Isis
She will help us in a crisis
And she hasn't raised her prices
And that's good enough for me."

Isis, like Hera, married her brother. Isis had a difficult family life, though, as her brother/husband, Osiris, was killed by Set. Isis brought Osiris back to life to impregnate her, after which he promptly died again. Set found the body and sought to destroy Osiris, but Isis gave him a proper burial, resulting in a second resurrection. Before she could give him a proper burial, though, she had to overcome what obstacle? Hint

Set had burned Osiris' body.

Set had turned Osiris' body into a pillar of salt.

Set had cut Osiris' body into pieces.

Set had swallowed Osiris' body.

NEXT>

Question 10 of 15

10. "Let us sacrifice to Loki
He's the old Norse god of chaos
Which is why this verse doesn't rhyme, or scan, or nothin'
And that's good enough for me."

The interesting thing about Loki is that he's a shapeshifter, and at one point took the form of a mare, giving birth to Odin's horse, Sleipnir. Odin was the chief God in the Norse Pantheon, so in keeping with the idea that the Gods have cooler stuff than we do, Sleipnir was unusual. What was his unusual trait? Hint

He had eight legs.

He breathed fire.

He had a mane of gold and a tail of silver.

He fed on flesh.

NEXT>

Question 11 of 15

11. "There's a graven image of Ba'al
That I bought for my front ha'al
At the graven image ma'al
And that's good enough for me."

Annoyingly enough for a quiz writer, it turns out that Ba'al isn't the name for one deity. It's a generic term for "Lord" or "Master," which means I have to stretch for a question. In Hebrew, "ba'al" is sometimes paired with "Zebub," which eventually became "Beelzebub" in the Christian tradition. A literal translation of the Hebrew name gives us what title for a demon or devil? Hint

Lord of the Flies

The Adversary

Father of Lies

Son of the Morning

NEXT>

Question 12 of 15

12. "Let us honor with confetti
The great Monster of Spaghetti
Flying 'cross the Serengeti
He's good enough for me."

"Pastafarians," or followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, first appeared in 2005 as a result of Bobby Henderson's open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education demanding equal time for Pastafarianism if the Board mandated the teaching of a particular pseudoscientific approach to biology. What's the name of the approach that had demanded equal time? Hint

Neo-Lamarkianism

Intelligent Design

Mendelian Genetics

Anatomy

NEXT>

Question 13 of 15

13. "glory b un2 teh ceiling cat:
cheezburgurz b wut HE xcells at
AN IT NEVR GONNA MAKE U FAT!!!
An it b gud inuff 4me."

LolCats are clearly a religious force to be reckoned with. Due to the overwhelming numbers of converts, in 2007, an effort was begun to translate all of what book into Lolspeak? Hint

The Book of Mormon

The Bible

The Iliad

The Bhagavad Gita

NEXT>

Question 14 of 15

14. "It was good enough for Venus,
Of the Gods she is the meanest
And she bit me on my ... elbow
But she's good enough for me!"

Okay, Venus is basically Aphrodite, but I like the verse. Anyway, Venus has a bunch of epithets, like "Venus Felix," meaning "Fortunate Venus" and "Venus Cloacina" meaning "Venus the Purifier." But, she also has one epithet relating specifically to her physical attributes, "Venus Kallipygos." What does "Venus Kallipygos" mean? Hint

Venus with the Hot Legs

Venus with the Nice Chest

Venus with the Pretty Bottom

Venus with the Good Hair

NEXT>

Question 15 of 15

15. And one last one for me:

"There will be a lot of lovin'
When we're meetin' in our Coven
Quit yer pushin' and yer shovin'
So there's room enough for me!"

Wicca, although it lacks a formal structure, is a recognized religion. In 2005, a Wiccan soldier, Patrick Stewart, was killed in Afghanistan. His widow, Roberta Stewart, wanted a symbol engraved on his headstone, but the United States Department of Veterans Affairs did not recognize the symbol as "an emblem of belief." In 2007, as part of an out-of-court settlement, the Department of Veterans Affairs agreed to recognize the symbol. What's the symbol? Hint

The Pentacle

The Triple Moon

The "Rosy Cross"

The Hand of God

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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. "We will pray with Aphrodite, We will pray with Aphrodite, She wears that see-through nightie, And it's good enough for me." Aphrodite is the Goddess of Beauty, Love, and Sexual Desire. Given those areas of responsibility, it should come as no shock that she should have an R-Rated origin. What was it?

Answer: She's a result of foam gathering about a set of severed genitals.

In most depictions, Aphrodite is either naked or wearing something see-through, clingy, or barely there. Students of Classical Mythology were therefore pleased to see that the actress who played her in the show "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" was given a very revealing costume. Speaking as a student of classical mythology, my pleasure was entirely due to the historical accuracy. Really.

2. "We will pray with Zarathustra, We'll pray just like we use ta, I'm a Zarathustra booster, And it's good enough for me." Traditionally, Zoroastrians have a problem with dead bodies, since they believe that air, earth, fire, and water are all sacred elements. What did they do with their dead?

Answer: They exposed them for scavenger birds to eat.

This method of disposing of the dead is less practiced in 2009 than it used to be, because of a falling population of scavenger birds. Also, it's hard to do this kind of thing in cities. Anyway, Zoroastrians used to put corpses on top of specially constructed towers, translated as "Towers of Silence." There was a specific protocol for doing it, and once the bones had been bleached by the sun, a specific group of people were responsible for getting rid of them.

3. "We will pray with those Egyptians, Build pyramids to put our crypts in, Cover subways with inscriptions, And it's good enough for me." While we're on the subject of dead people, most people know that the ancient Egyptians mummified their dead. In Egyptian mummification, most of the internal organs were removed and placed in Canopic jars. What organ was removed, but discarded as being unnecessary?

Answer: The Brain.

The heart was actually the only organ left in place. The brain, on the other hand, was liquefied and removed through the nose. There's a very funny scene in the 1999 movie "The Mummy" where they talk about it.

4. "We will pray with those old druids, They drink fermented fluids, Waltzing naked though the woo-ids, And it's good enough for me." We honestly don't know a lot about Druids, because the Romans actively suppressed them and a lot of their stuff was secret anyway. Of the little we know, we know that they considered a particular plant, now associated with Christmas, sacred. What's the plant?

Answer: Mistletoe.

Apparently, druids also considered holly to be sacred. Both holly and mistletoe are indigenous to northern Europe and remain green all year, so it makes sense that people would associate them with death and rebirth.

5. "We will pray to the god Buddha, Of gods there is none cuter, In silver, brass or pewter, He's good enough for me." In early 2001, the Taliban destroyed two statues of Buddha because they had determined that the statues were forbidden by sharia law. The statues, which had been carved directly into the sandstone cliff, were 180 and 121 feet high. Approximately how old were the statues?

Answer: 1500 years

Technically, Buddha's not a God so far as I know, but that's the verse. While I respect people's right to believe whatever they want, I consider destroying antique art to be a sign that you've gone too far. I'm arbitrarily deciding that anything more than 1000 years old shouldn't be blown up because it violates one's religious doctrine. I would also point out that the statues predated both the arrival of Islam in Afghanistan and the birth of the Prophet Muhammed.

6. "Hare Krishna he must laugh on, To see me dressed in saffron, With my hair only half-on He's good enough for me." What famous rock band's members made references to Hare Krishna in several of their songs, both before and after the band broke up?

Answer: The Beatles.

The most evocative example is in "My Sweet Lord," by George Harrison. Given that a court held that Harrison had used the tune of "He's So Fine" without permission, and "My Sweet Lord" doesn't have a lot of lyrics, it raises the question of how much of the song Harrison actually wrote.

7. "I'll arise at early morning When the sun gives me the warning That the solar age is dawning And that's good enough for me" There are a lot of sun gods. Not surprising, given its prominence in the sky. Ancient cultures, once they decided there was a God of the Sun, had to explain how it moved across the sky. Which of these was NOT a fairly well accepted method for the Sun to cross? ("NOT" meaning that it was not a common idea).

Answer: It was pulled across by ropes.

Okay, the boat and the chariot are far more common. The wheel thing isn't as well documented as the others, but one often sees the symbol of a wheel with the sun. So far as I know, most cultures saw the sun as fiery, so the ropes wouldn't make sense.

8. "We will pray to good ol' Kali To embrace her would be folly She'd be quite an armful - Golly! But she's good enough for me." Kali is a complex deity, and rather than ask about her other aspects, I'll go for the cheap question. Kali's portrayals show her with more arms than humans have. There are two versions. In one, Kali has ten arms. In the other, how many arms does she have?

Answer: Four.

I would like to say here that although I'm respectful of other faiths and have a solid grounding in Classical Mythology, I find Hindu mythos to be confusing. Anyway, one website says that Kali, in her four-armed depiction, has a sword in one hand, a demon's head in another, and the other two "bless her worshippers [sic], and say, "fear not"!" In the ten-armed version, each arm holds a specific implement associated with a specific other Hindu God, indicating that Kali represents the source of their power.

9. "Let us sacrifice to Isis She will help us in a crisis And she hasn't raised her prices And that's good enough for me." Isis, like Hera, married her brother. Isis had a difficult family life, though, as her brother/husband, Osiris, was killed by Set. Isis brought Osiris back to life to impregnate her, after which he promptly died again. Set found the body and sought to destroy Osiris, but Isis gave him a proper burial, resulting in a second resurrection. Before she could give him a proper burial, though, she had to overcome what obstacle?

Answer: Set had cut Osiris' body into pieces.

There are different accounts of how many pieces there were of Osiris, but both accounts make it clear that Isis never found Osiris' naughty bits, which is why they only have one child. The Osiris death-resurrection-death-resurrection saga also explained the annual flooding of the Nile (Isis' tears made it flood) and explained Osiris' dominion over the dead. And you thought you had in-laws that gave you a hard time.

10. "Let us sacrifice to Loki He's the old Norse god of chaos Which is why this verse doesn't rhyme, or scan, or nothin' And that's good enough for me." The interesting thing about Loki is that he's a shapeshifter, and at one point took the form of a mare, giving birth to Odin's horse, Sleipnir. Odin was the chief God in the Norse Pantheon, so in keeping with the idea that the Gods have cooler stuff than we do, Sleipnir was unusual. What was his unusual trait?

Answer: He had eight legs.

Sleipnir has eight legs so he can run faster. Norse Mythos is interesting to me because it includes prophesies about the destruction of the Gods. Loki, for example, is fated to fight the God Heimdallr, and the two end up killing each other. Personally, I find the idea of an eight-legged horse creepy. I can't stop imagining Odin riding a giant spider.

11. "There's a graven image of Ba'al That I bought for my front ha'al At the graven image ma'al And that's good enough for me." Annoyingly enough for a quiz writer, it turns out that Ba'al isn't the name for one deity. It's a generic term for "Lord" or "Master," which means I have to stretch for a question. In Hebrew, "ba'al" is sometimes paired with "Zebub," which eventually became "Beelzebub" in the Christian tradition. A literal translation of the Hebrew name gives us what title for a demon or devil?

Answer: Lord of the Flies

This verse belongs to Greta Christina's friend "Rebecca." If that sounds vague, it's because I don't know either of them but found them by Googling things for this quiz. So, thank you, Rebecca. Long may you wave. The interesting thing is that "ba'al zebub" appears to be an ancient pun.

12. "Let us honor with confetti The great Monster of Spaghetti Flying 'cross the Serengeti He's good enough for me." "Pastafarians," or followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, first appeared in 2005 as a result of Bobby Henderson's open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education demanding equal time for Pastafarianism if the Board mandated the teaching of a particular pseudoscientific approach to biology. What's the name of the approach that had demanded equal time?

Answer: Intelligent Design

This is also from Greta Christina's blog, where it's credited to her. On the subject of Intelligent Design, let me say this: it's a religious doctrine. The courts have consistently agreed. Now, I think there's a legitimate religious concern here - if human beings evolved by chance, then are we in fact special in the eyes of God? That valid concern isn't a scientific question, though, and it needs to be left at the door of a science classroom.

13. "glory b un2 teh ceiling cat: cheezburgurz b wut HE xcells at AN IT NEVR GONNA MAKE U FAT!!! An it b gud inuff 4me." LolCats are clearly a religious force to be reckoned with. Due to the overwhelming numbers of converts, in 2007, an effort was begun to translate all of what book into Lolspeak?

Answer: The Bible

This verse of the song's from Greta Christina's blog, where it's credited to "Maria." According to the project's website, the first print edition of the Lol Cat Bible will be available in January 2010. There is also a project underway to translate the Qu'ran, which I'm sure will be greeted with great pleasure by certain groups.

14. "It was good enough for Venus, Of the Gods she is the meanest And she bit me on my ... elbow But she's good enough for me!" Okay, Venus is basically Aphrodite, but I like the verse. Anyway, Venus has a bunch of epithets, like "Venus Felix," meaning "Fortunate Venus" and "Venus Cloacina" meaning "Venus the Purifier." But, she also has one epithet relating specifically to her physical attributes, "Venus Kallipygos." What does "Venus Kallipygos" mean?

Answer: Venus with the Pretty Bottom

No, really. There was a whole temple dedicated to her at Syracuse. Along the same lines, in 1919, Marcel Duchamp took a reproduction of the Mona Lisa, drew a beard and mustache on her, and wrote underneath it "L.H.O.O.Q." When you pronounce the letters as French words, you get "Elle a chaud au cul" or "She has a hot bottom," which wouldn't be that far off "Venus Kallipygos."

15. And one last one for me: "There will be a lot of lovin' When we're meetin' in our Coven Quit yer pushin' and yer shovin' So there's room enough for me!" Wicca, although it lacks a formal structure, is a recognized religion. In 2005, a Wiccan soldier, Patrick Stewart, was killed in Afghanistan. His widow, Roberta Stewart, wanted a symbol engraved on his headstone, but the United States Department of Veterans Affairs did not recognize the symbol as "an emblem of belief." In 2007, as part of an out-of-court settlement, the Department of Veterans Affairs agreed to recognize the symbol. What's the symbol?

Answer: The Pentacle

For the record, a pentacle is a five-pointed star in a circle. Wiccans use it with one point up, representing five elements: Air, Earth, Fire, Water, and Spirit. I fully understand the VA's position that they have to approve the symbols on government headstones or memorials. What I don't understand is why it took two years and the filing of a lawsuit for them to give approval to this one. If I were more cynical, I might suggest that the VA was concerned about people objecting to someone else's expression of faith.

But I'm just going to assume that the VA didn't think it was a priority.

Source: Author Correspondguy

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor CellarDoor before going online.
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