1.1 "Malcolm in the Middle" - "Pilot" Quiz

Answer: At some point it stops

The episode starts with Malcolm talking about how the world is so big that it would be almost impossible for him to see all of it in his lifetime. We also see his brother Reese's left nostril and the "freezing cold feet" of his younger brother Dewey. Malcolm also says that his oldest brother Francis is the one he likes, but that he got sent to military school. Finally, Malcolm introduces himself and tells us that the best part of childhood is that "at some point it stops".

Answer: Boss of Me

They Might Be Giants (TMBG) is an American band that was founded in 1982 in New York by John Flansburgh and John Linnell. Since then, the band has released more than 20 studio albums and several successful singles. Some of their most famous singles include "Birdhouse in Your Soul", "Twisting", and "The Statue Got Me High".

The group composed and recorded "Boss of Me" just for "Malcolm in the Middle". Though the song was officially released as a single in 2001 as part of the show's soundtrack, it was used as the theme song from the very first episode and earned the band further recognition and commercial success. In fact, They Might Be Giants won their first Grammy Award in 2002 for this song. An official music video features most of the main characters of the show (excluding Lois) as well as the members of TMBG performing. It really is a work of art that any "Malcolm in the Middle" fan would recognize instantly! (particularly the lyrics "you're not the boss of me now and you're not so big" and "life is unfair", which arguably fit the show's philosophy and characters quite well).

All of the other songs listed as answer choices were also used in "Malcolm in the Middle" scenes at some point in the series, in different but equally hilarious episodes. "Spiraling Shape" is also by TMBG, "Falling For The First Time" is by Barenaked Ladies, and "In Too Deep" is by Sum 41.

Answer: Reading a newspaper

The first scene we see after the opening credits is Lois shaving Hal's hairy back while singing "It's Your Thing" by The Isley Brothers. Hal is reading a newspaper called "The Morning Post" and singing along with Lois. He says he's reading a story about an unmanned probe being sent to Venus and how schoolchildren are being allowed to choose its name. We then see Malcolm and Reese arguing in the hallway, and Lois tells them there are only two toaster waffles so one of the three brothers has to eat cereal. Since Dewey is the shortest of the three, he can't get to one of the waffles in time.

According to Malcolm, Lois shaves Hal's body in the kitchen every month because his father has sensitive skin and the hair causes him to itch. Since it's so much hair, Lois suggests reusing it for the boys' school projects or for birds to make nests instead of throwing it away! The boys look away in disgust as they see Hal's hairy chest as they try to eat breakfast.

Answer: Falling into a tree shredder

Lois tells Malcolm she arranged a play date with Stevie Kenarban, to whom Reese refers as "wheelie" because Stevie uses a wheelchair. Malcolm explains that he only had lunch with Stevie once because when Stevie approached him, it was too late for Malcolm to leave. Lois then says: "you're going to be friends with that crippled boy and you're gonna like it, understood?" Malcolm agrees to avoid Lois lecturing him, but his complacency doesn't pay off as Lois goes on to lecture the children anyway. Lois tells them that "every day is a lottery" and that they could lose the ability to walk from meningitis, a car accident, or even if she accidentally snapped their spinal cord after spanking them.

Answer: No

The boys leave the house in a hurry as they have to get to school. Malcolm then explains to a friend that his older brother Francis is not in jail, but in a private military school called Marlin Academy. Malcolm tries to persuade us that Francis isn't as bad as people say, a statement that is unfortunately undercut by a compilation of Francis getting in trouble. He then tells us that, unlike Francis, bully Dave Spath "never gets sent anywhere". Malcolm and Dewey see Spath threatening another boy so they go over what to do if he gets to Dewey: if Spath catches him, he should roll in a ball. If he starts kicking him, Dewey should stay in a ball. Fortunately for them, Spath doesn't see them because he is too busy punching someone else.

At school, Malcolm and his classmates are painting. While Malcolm shows his teacher his work, Spath puts red paint on his seat. When Malcolm sits back down, the paint ends up on his pants, causing his classmates to laugh at him when he left the room. Malcolm is called to the principal's office because a teacher wants to perform some tests on him, all of which he appears to excel in.

Answer: Stevie's comic book collection

Malcolm and Stevie initially have trouble bonding. Stevie tries to tell a joke, but he takes too long because of his breathing problems. Malcolm suggests watching TV, but Stevie says he is not allowed to do so because his parents say it "makes you stupid".

Then, Stevie shows Malcolm his impressive collection of comic books, which immediately puts a smile on Malcolm's face. Some of the comic books in Stevie's room include "Youngblood #1" and "Savage Dragon".

Answer: The Special Prosecutor

We see Lois hastily taking clothes out of the laundry machine and organizing the house before she goes to work. After she tells her children that they can eat pizza and something else she thinks is peas, the phone rings. Francis greets Malcolm and asks to talk to "the special prosecutor", after which Malcolm immediately tells his mom that Francis wants to talk to her. Francis asks Lois for more money while he smokes, and Lois is incredibly able to tell he's smoking through the phone! A fight between the brothers then begins, with Malcolm and Reese grappling with each other while Dewey hits them with a foam bat. Since the doorbell rang but no one is answering the door, an infuriated Lois has to go down half-naked to see who was outside.

A Special Prosecutor is typically appointed for extraordinary investigations where an impartial investigator is needed. Ken Starr and Robert Mueller are two American attorneys who had important roles in the history of American politics: Starr was the Independent Counsel in charge of investigating President Bill Clinton during his impeachment, while Mueller (a former FBI director) was appointed as Special Counsel to investigate a potential conspiracy between President Donald Trump, his associates, and the Russian government.

Answer: Iced tea

Lois tells Malcolm's teacher, Caroline, that she didn't answer her voice messages because she refused to put Malcolm in a "special-ed class". However, Caroline tells Lois that is not the case; in fact, Malcolm has an IQ of 165, which is considered extremely high. As Lois puts it, that means that Malcolm is a "genius". The family has mixed reactions to the news. Lois is excited because the program has advanced textbooks and teachers to intellectually challenge the "gifted" children. Malcolm doesn't want to be put with the Krelboynes because, as Reese puts it, "Krelboynes get their butts kicked". When Lois asks Hal to intervene and support her position, Hal doesn't want to get involved and instead changes the subject to how fast his pitcher of iced tea always runs out.

Lois says "there's nothing wrong with being cut from the herd" and "we have to do what's best for you", which are especially interesting quotes when taken in the context of the last episode of the show (where Lois explains to Malcolm that everyone in the family expected him to become President of the United States).

Later that night, Lois tells Malcolm that life doesn't give people many opportunities to move up, so he should take this one and make the most out of it.

Answer: Peloponnesian War

Lois told Malcolm no one would make a big deal out of the change to the Krelboyne class, but she couldn't have been more wrong. Malcolm's own teacher tells her class how proud they should be of him, further embarrassing him. At Malcolm's first class with his new group, the teacher is starting a new unit on the Peloponnesian War but everyone is distracted looking at Malcolm. He is upset about being labeled a "freak" because as he explains, "around here, being smart is exactly like being radioactive". After he says that, we see a shot of him sitting by himself at a lunch table, surrounded by everyone else.

The Peloponnesian War was one of the most consequential wars between the city-states of Athens and Sparta. The two lived relatively in a state of peace because they both shared policies against Persians, but tensions soon arose between the Delian League (Athens) and the Peloponnesian League (Sparta). Following the Battle of Aegospotami, the Athenian navy suffered a tremendous defeat that led to the end of the Peloponnesian War.

Answer: It also plays at the end of the final episode

Malcolm sees Stevie eating alone, so he decides to approach him. Before he can talk to him, Spath throws something at him, which makes Malcolm angry. Spath attempts to punch Malcolm, but before he can do so, Malcolm throws chocolate pudding at him. Realizing what he's done, Malcolm tries to run away but is stopped by Spath. The bully misses Malcolm and accidentally grazes Stevie, who pretends to be hurt and falls over. The children are shocked that Spath hit someone in a wheelchair. One of Spath's friends tells him it looks very bad to hit someone who's "in a wheelchair AND has glasses", as Stevie and Malcolm smile at each other.

With "Better Days" still playing in the background, Malcolm then tells us that when the principal got to the patio, he thought that Spath attacked Stevie for his lunch and Spath started crying. The episode ends with a bird flying away with some of Hal's hair from earlier. Malcolm says that if the birds can make the best out of what they get, so can he and his family.

"Better Days (And the Bottom Drops Out)" is a song released by the American band Citizen King in 1999. The single was part of their album "Mobile Estates" and is considered the most successful song ever released by the band. Citizen King was active between 1993 and 2002 when they disbanded. The song was also played in the last scene of "Malcolm in the Middle", where Reese ends up as a school janitor and Malcolm becomes a Harvard student who also has to work as a janitor during his studies.