1.13 "Malcolm in the Middle" - "Rollerskates" Quiz

Answer: French fries

The episode begins with Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey sitting at their kitchen table, using a ruler to measure their French fries. The children are trying to measure each fry by inches so that they can all take an equal share of the fries. Dewey complains that the fries are getting cold and takes a bite, so now Malcolm has to take that bite into account for his calculations. Malcolm then tells us that the last time they ate curly fries and it took them three hours to go through this process.

French fries are often served as a side with burgers, but they can also be eaten by themselves or as a side for plenty of other foods.

Answer: The brotherhood of the wheel

Many of the neighborhood children are seen playing street hockey outside Malcolm's house, but Malcolm seems to be struggling because he has to run rather than skate. That is because Malcolm's dad Hal (who is very proficient in skating) won't let him buy skates until he takes lessons. Malcolm tells Stevie that he doesn't want to take the lessons because Hal is obsessed with skating to an unhealthy degree.

As an example of this, Malcolm says that Hal calls skating "the brotherhood of the wheel". Malcolm says that his brothers, Francis and Reese, were never the same after taking those lessons from Hal.

Answer: Her back

Reese tells Malcolm he doesn't want to talk about when their dad taught him to skate because it makes him cry. Reese is skating inside the house throughout the conversation. When Lois realizes this, she scolds her son and asks him to stop. Her demeanor changes for the worse when she realizes that someone stepped on something filthy, and Reese has been spreading it all over the house with his roller skates. We see Lois preparing to scream, only to transition to the next scene where she is in bed unable to move.

Hal comments that he thinks it's somewhat funny that she injured her back because of how loudly she yelled. Of course, Lois doesn't think that's funny. Even worse, Lois refuses to take her pain medicine because she doesn't want to lose consciousness and therefore control of the house.

Answer: Milk

Without Lois around, Reese feels free to take a bottle of milk from the fridge and drink it straight out of the bottle, without using a glass. Incredibly, Lois catches Reese through the baby monitor and yells "what are you doing?!" from bed, scaring Reese into spitting out the milk.

Answer: Sharpening a knife

Francis, the eldest of the Wilkerson brothers, is at a military academy in Alabama. He sees a poster that advertises "Survival Weekend", which according to his friend Stanley, is a two-day retreat in the wilderness to build character and learn basic survival techniques. Francis doesn't want to go, but Stanley convinces him. Later, Francis gets a call from his brother Malcolm, who wants advice on whether he should ask Hal for skating lessons. Francis just says that it may be a painful experience, so he should get it over with quickly. Throughout the conversation, we can see Francis's friend Stanley sharpening a knife behind him.

Answer: Three days

Lois says that her doctor advised at least three days of staying in bed while resting her leg on a pillow and applying ice. Lois says that she is surprised the doctor recommended ice instead of heat. She then continues to ramble as Francis unsuccessfully tries to cut her off. She says that the problem is that her fourth and fifth vertebrae are not aligned and that her shoulder muscles are asymmetrical as well. Hal then brings her a sandwich with drugs hidden in it, but Lois catches this trick and removes the medicine pills from her food. Lois also claims that this is the first-ever case of "scream-induced back trauma" that her doctors have ever seen.

Francis would later try to use this information to get out of "Survival Weekend", claiming he has a hereditary back condition.

Answer: Puma

Malcolm finally asks his dad for skating lessons. Once he does this, the background turns black with Hal somberly warning that "there's no going back" once they get started. The next day, Hal wakes Malcolm up at 5:00am exactly. Malcolm, wearing a helmet and a blue Puma sweatshirt, isn't too thrilled about staring so early. Hal insists that his methods may be unconventional, but that Malcolm must stick with them to master skating. He also tells Malcolm one rule: he must not question his dad's ways.

Puma is a German company that was founded in 1948. The company specializes in selling sportswear of various kinds, including sneakers, sweatshirts, and pants. Over the years, they have developed partnerships with several teams and athletes. Some of their best-known football kits, for instance, are those of the Ghana and Uruguay national squads.

Answer: Funkytown

Malcolm is left speechless as his dad performs a series of moves to the tune of "Funkytown". He asks: "should I be impressed or horrified?" Hal then shows Malcolm a pair of beautiful skates that he bought, but says they are an incentive. Before using those, Malcolm must learn with different skates (which turn out to be his regular shoes with fake wheels). "Funkytown" then resumes while Malcolm "skates" into some cones.

"Funkytown" was the most successful single of the American group Lipps Inc. The catchy song was first released in 1980 and quickly became a hit around the world. It reached the top position in a number of different music charts, such as the Billboard Hot 100 and the Eurochart Hot 100.

Answer: Cookie dough

After listening to his mom ramble about her back injury, Francis gets an idea: if he fakes a back injury, he may be excused from going to the wilderness with the rest of the cadets. When everyone is preparing to leave, Francis falls and claims he has a genetic back injury with the exact same symptoms as his mother. Stanley doesn't believe him at first but is persuaded when Francis locates the exact vertebrae with the issue.

Francis stays in the academy comfortably eating cookie dough straight from the Nestle Toll House package while watching TV. Unfortunately for him, his peers find out about his lie and punish him by tying him to a chair and forcing him to spend three days in the woods (an extra one more than everyone else for lying).

Answer: Champions

Malcolm grows impatient with his dad's training and decides to stop taking lessons. Even worse, Malcolm curses at his dad because the latter took the new skates away from him. Reese advises Malcolm to flee to Siberia if he wants to avoid the consequences of what he just did.

Lois is finally able to get out of bed. Hilariously, Hal leaves their bedroom and tells the children: "boys, your mother's mobile". They instantly run away from the kitchen. Hal then gives Malcolm a 10-page list of bad words and forces him to say every bad word to him. Malcolm is unable to finish the list, and Hal tells him that words hurt and should be used carefully. The lesson seems to work since Malcolm apologizes.

Hal performs another very funny skating routine, this time to the tune of "We Are The Champions", the classic song by the British band Queen. This song is frequently played at sporting events when one team is victorious in a championship match. At the end of the episode, Malcolm embraces his father's techniques and dances while playing street hockey. To his surprise, it works and helps him play the game better than those around him.

This was the thirteenth episode of "Malcolm in the Middle" season 1. In total, the season had 16 episodes.