1.2 "Malcolm in the Middle" - "Red Dress" Quiz

Answer: Tied Dewey to the door

As Lois is sweeping the floor, she notices Reese and Malcolm calmly studying in their room. This makes her suspicious, so she tries to find out what they're hiding. Lois finally gives up and tells them to "consider themselves lucky, this time". When she leaves, we find out what the brothers were up to: they had tied their youngest brother Dewey to a hook in the back of their door! Malcolm explains what just happened with a binary proposition: "either she's losing her touch, or we're getting better".

Answer: Lipstick

Malcolm explains that one of the good things about being smart is that he never needs to look up phone numbers, but his good memory is also exploited by the rest of his family. He reminds his brother Francis, who was sent to a military academy, that today is their parents' 16th wedding anniversary. Malcolm tells Francis he owes him $20 because the gift the brothers got for Lois and Hal was $80, though it is implied that he may be lying.

At Lucky Aide, the supermarket where Lois works, her co-worker Craig gives her a present. Lois points out that only husbands are supposed to give anniversary presents, but decides to open the gift anyway. It turns out to be a lipstick that Lois wanted to try, something Craig mysteriously knew. Lois tells Craig that she will be wearing a new red dress later tonight.

Answer: Mopping the floor

When Lois tells Craig about her new red dress, she also says that she has been fantasizing about this dinner for a long time. We see her fantasy of a luxurious dinner with her wearing the dress, followed by Craig's own fantasy of him having dinner with Lois.

In Craig's imagination, Lois is feeding him steak as he watches Hal mopping the floor next to the table. Craig then invites Lois to watch a movie but she rejects the invitation.

Answer: The toilet

The boys are busy wrapping an anniversary gift that Lois bought for herself because she didn't want to get another karate video from Reese. Dewey repeatedly tells his brothers: "I get to do the bow!" but Reese ends up putting the bow on the gift, making Dewey mad. As Lois is getting ready, however, she is shocked to find her red dress inside her toilet. Besides being wet, the dress looks like it was burned before being tossed into the toilet. Dewey runs to tell his mom about what Reese did, but when he sees her walking down the hallway with the dress, he immediately turns around, yells "noooo!" and hides behind his brothers. I have rewatched this scene multiple times and it never fails to make me laugh!

If you pay close attention to the scene, you can see a staff member holding a bucket of water behind Jane Kaczmarek as she walks down the hallway with the dress. Apparently, no one in the production team noticed until after it aired, so nothing could be done about it.

Answer: Champagne

Enraged, Lois tells the boys that this is the most "stupid, irresponsible, dangerous" thing they have ever done. When she asks who did it, the boys do nothing but blame each other. Lois asks the boys if they want their charred bodies to be identified through their dental records (because she thinks they were playing with fire when they supposedly burned the dress). Dewey seems to think this means they're going to the dentist! She then applies a series of punishments intended to make them confess, such as throwing away their toys, making them spin around baseball bats until they are dizzy, and forcing them to stand in a corner. The boys say they have never seen their mom this mad so they call the only person who has seen her like this and survived: their older brother Francis.

At the restaurant, Hal is with the maitre d' making sure that everything is ready for a perfect dinner. He asks about the table number, the music, and the "Chateau Brut '87". Though he does not explicitly say this is champagne, it is safe to assume so because "Brut" is one of the classifications associated with dry champagne, a sparkling wine from France.

Answer: Singing and dancing along to the song

Francis warns the boys that they should stay united against their mom, because she is likely to conduct separate interviews where she will pretend to be on their side. Lois offers each of the boys a soda while telling all of them "you have always been the best one". Since none of the boys confesses, Lois steps up her tactics and locks them in their room while playing a horrifying song with the lyrics "nice is good, mean is bad, don't be mean 'cause mean is bad". This song was actually recorded by the American band They Might Be Giants (the same group behind the "Malcolm in the Middle theme song) just for the show!

The boys are very close to breaking because they can't stand the song. Dewey even yells: "why does she have to ruin everything I love?!" Malcolm is just about to confess even though he didn't do it, but Francis tells them to beat Lois at her own game by pretending to enjoy the song. The boys momentarily get the upper hand, but Lois quickly outsmarts them again by recording their singing and dancing.

Answer: McDonald's

When Francis learns about Lois's latest move, he needs time to think about what to do next. Dewey fakes a stomach cramp to get Malcolm and Reese time to think too. At this point, more than seven of Francis's fellow cadets at Marlin Academy are standing next to the phone, fascinated by the standoff between Lois and the brothers. One of the cadets tells Francis that if his mom had been in "'Nam" (short for Vietnam), there would now be a McDonald's in Hanoi Square (alluding to the Vietnam War). Another cadet is quick to point out that "there is a McDonald's in Hanoi Square).

McDonald's was originally founded in 1940 by Richard and Maurice McDonald. Businessman Ray Kroc oversaw the aggressive expansion of the company by pioneering new efficiency systems. McDonald's turned into a symbol of globalization and American capitalism and has opened thousands of restaurants around the world.

Answer: Martini

By this point of the night, we have seen Hal order at least three martinis. After eating some breadsticks, he gets too hungry so he asks the waiter to take his order. According to Hal, there is a saying in his family that goes: "after an hour, eat without her, if it's any longer, something's wronger". Hal wanted lemonade but since the restaurant didn't have it, he decides to instead order another martini.

He had already ordered a few vodka martinis earlier in the night, and he asked to get it with olives and onions (two goods that are commonly served with a martini).

Answer: Television

Reese asks Malcolm how many holes he thinks are in the tiles on their roof and Malcolm gives him the exact number. Though Malcolm explains he simply multiplied the number of holes by the number of tiles, Reese thinks his brother has to "tone down the brain thing". Reese explains that he has been beating up people who call Malcolm "weird" for being smart, which gives us a heartwarming moment between the brothers. Malcolm tells his brothers that him being smart doesn't mean he can read minds or understand what dogs are saying (though Dewey says he can do the latter).

Lois asks the kids to join her in the living room. She is wearing gloves, holding a hammer, and standing on a blue tarp. Lois tells them to say goodbye to a "cherished family member", their television. The boys scream in panic but are saved by a neighbor who rings the bell. Ed, their neighbor, complains that he keeps hearing screaming that is different from her "normal screaming", and that it sounded like "killing-screaming". When Lois goes back to the living room, she finds the three boys out of breath and can't see the television, implying that the children hid it while she was gone.

At the restaurant, Hal has a funny exchange with the bathroom attendant. Hal asks to try one of the colognes and when he leaves, the attendant thanks him for making eye contact with him.

Answer: Hal

While Hal is enjoying a lobster and champagne meal with the bathroom attendant he met earlier, Lois finally realizes that she kept Hal waiting at the restaurant. She picks up the phone to call him but instead catches Malcolm talking to Francis. Immediately, all of the cadets who were listening in with Francis run away, while Lois smiles. Lois then asks Malcolm to hang up the phone, freaking out Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey. Dewey yells "we're gonna die!" and hides under the bed. Malcolm tries to escape but Reese wants him to use his brain and think of a way out of this situation. When Lois opens the door, she sees that the boys have completely destroyed their own room. Rather than yelling at them, Lois tells them to get dressed because they are joining her at dinner. As she explains, she doesn't want social workers and reporters in her house. Rocks from the roof fall on Dewey's head (which was covered by a metal bucket) and the boys smile at each other (it's hard to tell if this was scripted or if the actors were legitimately laughing!)

Hal arrives home after Tony gave him a ride but finds nobody there. He decides to watch TV but can't because the boys hid it earlier. Next, he lights up a pipe and accidentally burns down the sofa, which prompts him to say: "not again!" as we hear the toilet flushing, leading us to think that he might have also accidentally burned the dress while smoking his pipe before.

Overall, this was a great episode that introduced us to the dysfunctional dynamic of the Wilkerson family.