"Big Bang Theory": Cooperisms from Season 5 Quiz

Answer: He charges into battle unarmed.

Tensions among the guys are high because Leonard thinks that Raj slept with Penny in the last episode of the previous season, but he is trying not to think about it. Howard is also mad with Raj for being infatuated with his fiancée, Bernadette. Moments before the battle, Leonard tries to call it quits. "I'm sorry, Sheldon," he explains. "It's just not a good time for playing games." In a rare moment of selflessness, Sheldon accepts that he has failed them as a leader. "I haven't earned these bars," he declares as he tries unsuccessfully to rip off his shoulder rank. "Although what I lack in leadership I apparently more than make up for in sewing." He hands his rifle to Leonard, and prepares to leave the shed. "What are you doing?" Leonard asks. "Following in the footsteps of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo," replies Sheldon.

He steps outside into the battle with his arms outstretched, and is pummeled with paint pellets. As he falls to the ground on his knees, Leonard, Raj and Howard become inspired to charge into the fray. "If there's ever a Church of Sheldon, this will be where it started," Sheldon reflects. Later, Sheldon reveals that with his 'dying' breath, he awarded himself a battlefield promotion to the rank of Major.

Answer: Off the street

In "The Infestation Hypothesis", Sheldon is actually complimentary of Penny's new chair until he discovers where it came from. "It aligns the lumbar, cradles the coccyx, bounces the buttocks," he informs Penny with approval. "Well, I'm glad you like it," Penny replies. "I still can't get over the fact someone just threw it away." These words land on Sheldon like a ton of bricks. "What?" he says, with a concerned look on his face. "Yeah," explains Penny, "it was just sitting on the street. I paid a homeless guy $10 just to help me get it up here." Sheldon springs out of the chair in fright. "Oh dear," he repeats, while simultaneously removing his sweater. "I've been sitting in garbage."

Sheldon makes it his mission to get Penny to get rid of the "Chair of Death" but his efforts prove futile. He then impresses on Amy to intercede on his behalf. "I was hoping she might listen to you about the dangers of owning unhygienic furniture," he explains. "Sheldon," replies Amy, "just because you have a focus on the cleanliness bordering on the psychotic doesn't mean I have to participate." Sheldon asks Amy to name her price, so she tells him to kiss her where she's "never been kissed before", but the request is lost on Sheldon. "You mean like Salt Lake City?" Frustrated, Amy agrees to talk to Penny. While doing so, Amy is bitten by some animal that has made the chair its home, and the two girls run screaming out of the apartment and down the stairs. The episode ends with Howard and Raj claiming the chair from the street outside the building so that Raj will have somewhere to sit in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.

Answer: A pair of "Dungeons & Dragons" dice

The gang is having dinner at The Cheesecake Factory, where Sheldon is attempting to determine what to order with a pair of "Dungeons & Dragons" dice. Sheldon explains: "From here on in, I've decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice, thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best. Enlighten and amaze." The dice direct Sheldon to order a side of corn succotash and a pitcher of margaritas, prompting Leonard to ask if that's what he really wants for dinner. "That's the great thing. It doesn't matter. My mind is freed up to think about more important things," explains Sheldon. "What's it thinking about now?" asks Leonard. "Hamburgers and lemonade," Sheldon replies.

Later, Penny compliments Sheldon on his new mustache. "Don't thank me, thank the dice," Sheldon says. "They told me what percentage of my face to shave." Howard thinks that Sheldon is being ridiculous, and asks him why he doesn't just give up the experiment. "Because it's working," replies Sheldon. "In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I've co-authored two papers in notable peer review journals, and I'm close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs Bozon particle." Leonard is unimpressed. "You left out 'got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants'." Sheldon remains unperturbed. "The dice giveth and the dice taketh away," he declares matter-of-factly.

Answer: Brent Spiner

After running into Wil Wheaton at the comic book store, Sheldon and Leonard are invited to his house, but Sheldon refuses to visit "the one kid from 'Stand By Me' that no one remembers". Sheldon only changes his mind after he discovers that Brent Spiner will also be there. During the party, Wil presents Sheldon with his last original mint condition 'Wesley Crusher' action figure. "I remember your story about the time you went to a convention when you were a kid to get one signed and I didn't show up," Wil explains. "Look what I wrote." Sheldon reads out loud from the box. "To Sheldon, sorry this took so long. Your friend, Wil Wheaton." Sheldon is visibly touched. "Look everyone," he announces. "Wil Wheaton is my friend." It is at that moment that Brent Spiner spies the package and, in one swift motion, takes it from Sheldon's hand and rips it open. "Wow, I haven't seen one of these in years," he exclaims.

Sheldon is not happy. "Brent Spiner, what have you done?" he asks. "That was an original mint-in-package Wesley Crusher action figure, signed by my close personal friend, Wil Wheaton." Brent offers to sign a 'Data' doll for Sheldon, but it is of no use. "You've already signed something, Brent Spiner - your name on my list," Sheldon replies coldly. "From this moment on, you are my mortal enemy." In a low voice, Wil tries to reassure a surprised Brent Spiner. "Don't worry," he says. "It doesn't take up a whole lot of your time."

Answer: He falls sick.

Sheldon's mother is in Pasadena for the weekend, but she hardly has the chance to sit down before Sheldon wants her to make him her famous fried chicken. "Sheldon, she just got off the plane," says Leonard. "She doesn't want to cook." Sheldon begs to differ. "Well, of course she does," he replies. "Making me food is her way of saying, 'I love you.' Making me food when she's too tired to cook is her way of saying, 'I really love you.'" When Sheldon's mom indicates that she wouldn't mind going out for a bite to eat, Sheldon is slow to appreciate the implications. "Won't that spoil our appetite for the chicken you're going to make me?" he asks.

Later, Sheldon's mother is too busy dealing with a lonely Raj to make Sheldon a pecan pie, and her efforts at helping Sheldon with his laundry are interrupted by Penny, who needs advice on what to wear on her date. The last straw comes when Sheldon wants to take his mother to a talk by a Nobel prize winner, but she would rather go sightseeing with the rest of the gang instead. Sheldon rebels by going for the talk on his own, but gets caught in the rain while waiting at the bus stop, and returns to the apartment soaked to the skin and sick as a dog. The episode ends with Sheldon's mother making him tea with honey and toast with the crust cut off, and singing "Soft Kitty" to him in bed.

Answer: Jumping out of the couch in zombie makeup

In "The Good Guy Fluctuation", the guys manage to scare Sheldon with an elaborate pre-Halloween prank while he is working late at the office. After he recovers, Sheldon promises retribution. "Enjoy your japes, gentlemen," he warns. "You think you've poked fun at a milk toast academic. Well, you've forgotten one thing. I am also a son of the Lone Star state. I'm Texas, through and through. And we know how to settle scores down there. If you doubt me, ask Mexico."

Sheldon first tries to scare Leonard with the mailbox, but Leonard turns the tables on Sheldon with an inflatable balloon and an air horn. "You might be from Texas, but I'm from New Jersey," claims a triumphant Leonard. Next, Sheldon hides a snake in Raj's desk drawer, but Raj is unperturbed by this, and takes his new found companion to the biology department for some mice. Sheldon's attempt to shock Howard with a contraption in his hand appears to work after Howard collapses to the ground, apparently from his heart condition, but the trick backfires badly on Sheldon after it turns out that Howard was only faking. Sheldon finally manages to get back at Leonard by donning some zombie makeup and springing out from under the couch cushions at him. "Bazinga, punk," exclaims Sheldon. "Now we're even."

Answer: Cuddling

After discovering that she was excluded from Penny and Bernadette's excursion, Amy goes into seclusion and ignores all of Sheldon's attempts at electronic communication. Sheldon is left with no alternative but to call on Amy at her apartment in person, where he finds her wallowing in self-pity and playing "Everybody Hurts" on the harp. Sheldon tries to make Amy feel better, but bites off more than he can chew in the process.

Amy has a proposition for Sheldon. "At this moment," she explains, "I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contact." Her proposal? "One wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and inflames my loins." Without missing a beat, Sheldon counters with an idea more his speed. "I will gently stroke your head and repeat 'Oh, who's a good Amy,'" he offers. "How about this," Amy says. "French kissing. Seven minutes in heaven culminating in second base." Sheldon thoughtfully offers to massage Amy's neck instead, but Amy isn't interested. "We cuddle," she says with some finality. "Final offer." Sheldon accepts, and Amy ends up sprawled awkwardly in Sheldon's arms on her couch. Later, Sheldon gives Howard and Leonard an ultimatum. "Last night, I was strong-armed into an evening of harp music and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler," he complains. "Get your women in line. You make them apologize to Amy and set things right. I am a man of science, not someone's snuggle-bunny."

Answer: Fear of birds

Leonard and Penny return one evening to the apartment to find Sheldon desperately trying to shoo a blue jay perched on the windowsill. "Really?" Penny asks in disbelief. "On top of everything else, you're afraid of birds?" What she doesn't know is that Sheldon has endured more than his fair share of abuse from hummingbirds, chickens, magpies and parrots over the years. "It's called ornithophobia," Sheldon says defensively, "and someday it will be recognized as a true disability, and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. Which is unfortunate, because I have a fear of nets."

Bernadette and Amy eventually convince Sheldon to overcome his fear by interacting with the bird, a move that proves successful. It isn't long before Sheldon is sitting peacefully on the couch with the blue jay happily perched on his arm. "It's remarkable," marvels Sheldon. "All that time spent in fear, and for what? He's magnificent." Sheldon resolves to keep his new feathered friend, but when he opens the window to retrieve his nest from the windowsill, the blue jay flies away. "How can he do this to me?" Sheldon exclaims in exasperation. "Get back here you stupid bird so I can love you!" The episode ends with Leonard returning to the apartment to find Sheldon hovering over the nest, which he has lovingly placed under a heat lamp on the coffee table. "I'm going to be a mommy," he says, excitedly.

Answer: "Amy, will you be my girlfriend?"

In "The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition", Amy agrees to go out with Stuart because her relationship with Sheldon is going nowhere. This upsets Sheldon, who denies that he has feelings for Amy, but conducts himself in a manner that suggests he is jealous of Stuart. Sheldon starts stalking Stuart on Facebook to find out details of his date with Amy, and even resorts to asking Penny out in a foolhardy attempt at winning Amy back. Penny advises Sheldon to just talk to Amy, so he crashes their date at the movies on the pretext that the thought of her being in a darkened theatre with Stuart was "repellent" to him. "I'm sorry this causes you discomfort," Amy replies, "but based on the currently established parameters of our relationship, I can put myself in any repellent situation I want." Sheldon realizes that he needs to make some kind of grand gesture. "I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship," he finally concedes. "With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever, physical or otherwise, I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as 'not my girlfriend'."

Amy isn't impressed. "Interesting. Now try it without the quadruple negative," she says. "Fine," Sheldon eventually says. "Amy, will you be my girlfriend?" Amy happily accepts, and the episode ends with Sheldon presenting Amy with a 31-page Relationship Agreement that "enumerates, iterates and codifies the rights and responsibilities" of the newly formed couple - a move that Amy finds "romantic".

Answer: A tiara

Sheldon unwittingly upsets Amy during Date Night at The Cheesecake Factory when he shows no interest or excitement in her recent accomplishment in the field of biology. After Amy storms off angrily to the washroom, Penny informs Sheldon what he did wrong. "Honey, she's upset," she explains. "You're her boyfriend. You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by." Sheldon consults Leonard, who advises him to buy something for Amy. When Sheldon asks how that's supposed to help, Leonard explains. "Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection and you win back her affection with an empty, financial gesture." Sheldon likes the sound of that, so he pays a visit to the jewelry store with Penny to pick out something suitable.

Penny then lures Amy to her apartment under the pretext of hanging out, so that Sheldon can make things right with her. "Amy, I'd like to apologize. Your accomplishment was impressive and I'm proud of you." When that doesn't work, Penny hands Amy a small paper bag. "Jewelry? Seriously?" she says. "Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparently manipulative... Oh, it's a tiara. A tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me." Amy can barely contain her excitement as she hugs a stunned Sheldon and plants a big kiss right on his lips before he realizes what is happening. "You're right," Sheldon says to Penny. "Tiara was too much."