'M*A*S*H' - 'Big Mac' Trivia Quiz

Answer: Spaulding

Captain Calvin Spalding, aka singer/actor Loudon Wainwright III makes his third and final appearance on 'M*A*S*H' in this episode. All three of his appearances were during season three. He composes a cute song for Douglas MacArthur during the episode.

Answer: Head honcho

Henry's giddy behavior leads him to spew various nonsense about General MacArthur's arrival. He calls MacArthur the 'big monk', among other things, and continues the description as follows: 'He's the biggest, highest, monkiest of all. They don't come any monkier!' MacArthur is paying this brief visit to the 4077th because it has the best survival rate in all of Korea.

Answer: Pantagraph

'Daily Bloomington Pantagraph, oh boy, I can just see it, "Supreme Commander inspects local Doctor",' Henry muses to Radar. He continues, excitedly, 'My price for a tonsillectomy just went from 50 to 75 bucks a 'tonse'!'

Answer: Frank

'As adjutant and assistant chief surgeon, I'd like to volunteer,' offers an intrepid Frank Burns. Hawkeye replies, 'Then it's agreed. We'll do a hysterectomy on Major Burns!'

The following dialog also takes place with Colonel Whiteman:

Colonel Whiteman: 'You will address the General only in the following manner. 'Yes, General MacArthur', 'No, General MacArthur', 'Thank you, General MacArthur'.'

Trapper: 'God almighty!'

Hawkeye: 'Close, very close.'

Answer: The World Almanac

The priceless dialog:

Trapper: 'Frank! What are you doing?'

Frank: 'Burning books.'

Hawkeye: 'Oh. Any special reason, Dr. Hitler?'

Frank: 'One of the greatest living Americans is coming and I'm not going to let him see some of the trash that's read around here.'

Trapper: 'Plato's Republic? The Life of Red Grange?'

Hawkeye: 'Revolutionaries.'

Frank: 'Right!'

Trapper: 'Robinson Crusoe?'

Hawkeye: 'Everybody runs around half naked.'

Trapper: 'Norman Mailer.'

Frank: 'It's got *that word* in it.'

Hawkeye: 'Frank, you burn one more book, I'm gonna give you a dancing lesson in the mine field. Now, knock it off, gnat brain!'

Answer: Harry Truman

As if to poke fun at General MacArthur's ego, a large picture of the General is juxtaposed against a tiny picture of his boss, Harry Truman, to whom he was politically opposed. For Frank and Margaret, this is perfectly appropriate!

Answer: The Philippines

Margaret claims that her father and MacArthur 'fought the Huks together in the Philippines'. The problem with this is that MacArthur wasn't fighting the Huks when he was in the Philippines, but rather the Japanese. The Huks were Communist guerrilla rebels who also fought against Japanese occupation during World War II. They only turned against U.S. and mainstream Philippine forces after the war, in MacArthur's absence.

Margaret claims that at Christmas her father and General MacArthur exchanged shrunken tribesman's heads. Good lord!

Answer: Radar

Radar makes an unlikely MacArthur, considering his rather diminutive stature, but he seems to pull it off reasonably well. During the rehearsal, Klinger storms in with one of his loveliest dresses and begs to kiss General Radar's pipe.

Answer: No

Unfortunately, despite all the preparations for the General's visit, MacArthur does not even have the courtesy to stop and have an actually visit to the 4077th. Rather, his jeep just drives through and he salutes the M*A*S*H personnel. Radar is still dressed as the General during his very brief visit, but he loses the cornpipe from his mouth when he salutes.

Answer: Statue of Liberty

This is by far Klinger's most outrageous costume during the run of 'M*A*S*H'. Not only is he dressed as the Statue of Liberty, he also has a torch in his hand, complete with sparklers. General MacArthur seems completely unphased by Klinger's outfit, and gives the crazy Corporal a proud salute!

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