'M*A*S*H' - 'Bulletin Board' Trivia Quiz

Answer: Sex

Colonel Blake gives a shockingly sober lecture on the dangers of sexual relations between the local population and American servicemen. He claims that he doesn't expect his men to behave like monks, but he warns them against leaving behind any 'monklets'. Ah that Henry, he does have a way with words!

Answer: $240

Margaret's younger sister is getting married and she wishes to purchase a wedding gift, but doesn't have the $240 she needs. She requests this of Frank, who stoutly refuses on principle. During the conversation we learn that Margaret's father is dead (he is miraculously revived in later episodes) and that her mother is not only a drunk, but also a klepto.

Answer: 'Love of money is the root of all evils' - Timothy

After refusing Margaret's request, he throws the Polonius quote (from Shakespeare's 'Hamlet') at her. She retorts with the Loyola quote, to which Frank provides the Twain quote in response. Finally fed up with Frank's aphorisms, Margaret delivers the following: ''Blow it out your ear,' Margaret Houlihan!' I don't think that final quote is an original!

Answer: Becky

Trapper actually has two daughters, Becky and Cathy, but this particular letter is directed to Becky. Trapper describes Hawkeye as a 'good egg', while Frank is described as 'a substitute teacher who stays all year'. This is the only episode that features a letter home written by Trapper.

Answer: Bill Robinson

Bill Robinson, aka Mr. Bojangles, dances with Shirley Temple in the 1935 film 'The Little Colonel' in one of the all-time great tap dancing moments in film.

Answer: Zale

Klinger and Zale never seem to get along during the series, and this episode is no exception. Zale first knocks Klinger's hat off his head, claiming it's in his way. Personally, I think Zale is just jealous because Klinger has a date. Later, we find Zale sitting in Klinger's spot after Klinger goes to get a bag of popcorn. Klinger roughly pushes Zale out of his seat, and soon the wrestling begins!

Answer: Klinger

Klinger complains to Father Mulcahy that he hasn't been very successful, only making a total of $3. Klinger claims, 'I could make more, but you wouldn't believe what they expect for a dollar.' Father Mulcahy responds good-naturedly, 'Oh, well, do your best, my, uh, my son.' I love the hesitance to call Klinger 'son' while he hands Klinger his rainbow scarf.

Answer: Spoons

The contestants have to fill a spoon with water, then take the spoons about 20 feet away to a glass and fill what contents that remain in the spoon into the glasses. The cookout also features a stage for the puppet show 'Punch and Judy', performed ably by Trapper and a nurse...they kiss their way through the entire performance!

Answer: Frank Burns

Frank finally agrees to Margaret's request for a loan, but only with an I.O.U. and an interest rate of 5%. Margaret is so incensed upon hearing about Frank's usurious plan that she chases him right into the middle of the nurse's race. Much to his 'delight', Frank comes in first place and receives a lovely bra donated by Klinger.

Answer: Radar

Poor Radar is the first into the mire, followed by the loveable Frank Burns. Frank pulls Mulcahy into the mess, and the Father is followed by Klinger and Sergeant Zale. Margaret and Hawkeye fall in simultaneously, and are quickly followed by Trapper. Finally, Trapper helps yank Henry into the muck.

The fun is soon ended, however, when Radar announces the arrival of choppers. Our fun has ended as well, thank you for trying this quiz. If you enjoyed it, please feel free to try my other 'M*A*S*H'-related stuff.